flip the coin

Dear  Reader

so i was at church today and i  had this thought about  heads and tails. lets use  pennies as our illustration shall we.
    OK  so  tales makes  me think of  shame  hidden identity. fear of failure being forgotten. all the  junk in the  trunk.  then  you  flip and you see  another side  of things.  there is a head  or face. so imagine if you will. we  find  pennies on the ground all the  time they are muddy and  dirty. its hard to find the face. we often  see  pennies as  inconvenient.  we find them  annoying   most people have a  little jar for pennies.  so what happens is this we keep adding more pennies  most of them  sticky and muddy.  people  stop caring about these  pennies. they  throw them away before  you see the full worth.
 so imagine if you will if we were to shine and  wash  these pennies we would be drawn to them  right. OK so people are like  the dirty pennies covered in sin then when we give our lives our  hearts to Jesus we  become clean. we are all ugly  in sin.  but its through Christ that we have an identity. we don't have to  be covered in guilt  covered in shame  covered in failure etc you get the point fill in the blanks  what  are your  hidden  sins what is it that you wear instead of Gods  infinite love. you  see when we  let God truly work on us we  become new and slowly that scum becomes pure. but it is a choice. maybe you know God and maybe you don't.  maybe you are covered from head to toe in junk. hurts pains  and insecurities. today  tonight this morning where ever you are. take some time to examine your heart. what do you  need to take to the  cross to become pure  again to become the most beautiful face. you  don't have to run you don't have to hide. just come to God let him bring you back to  life let him  in let him heal everything. cause he is more then able in fact he wants to be the one you run to when you are  hurt  when you are  lost.  just think about how much god  loves you. you are  worth it you are  most  beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you. come to the cross and lay your burdens down.its  never too late to come  before  God


elz

so close yet so far away

Dear Readers

so  right now i have a boyfriend and not everyone  agrees  with the whole  internet thing. but  heres  what god  is teaching me through tears and joy.
  so  i  seriously  screwed up big time.  i did the worst thing you can  do in a relationship.... ready for it  i  brought up all my  past  hurts and relationships. you see as  girls we think of this  as  an  escape of feelings how  could this hurt our man. oh it hurts  him  deeply. it makes  the  men in our lives  fel like poop.  makes them  feel like they  arent good enough. now if you have never  had  a  realtionship thats one less  thing you shall have to  worry  about.
  Alfred hasnt talked to me since monday night. i have  done  everything in my power to fight for him. to  keep him. but today  through tears  and talking to my friend  rondel and grandma esther  God  spoke to my  heart so  closely. he  showed me that the way i feel when  alfred doesnt talk to me is the same way he feels when i dont  take time with him.  when i dont  read the  bible, when i dont  pray, when i dont  trust in god. ouch  right. god chooses to love me  despite all the stupid things i say. all he bad choices i make. he has  a  huge plan  for me and i have been  too blind to see it.
  but  i know this i love God i love alfred. and i want nothing but the  very best for him. now i have to wait  for alfred to fight for me  to lead me the  way a man ought to lead in christ. I know  i have hurt  him and for that i am  beyond  sorry. let  this  be a lesson  learned to all of us  who  live in our  past.  seriously do you  want past  to ruin your future. no thank you.