Dear Reader's
I'd like to dedicate this blog to those of us starting in a new relationship or thinking about being in one. or maybe you are single and are envying those of us in relationships.
First of all i would like to clear this up relationships are not a fairytale. in february i met my boyfriend. our first date was march 1st. i remember it as if it was yesterday. I showed up early and as i waited at tim hortons for kenneth to show up i played games on my phone. then there was a moment as i looked up and saw him. i thought oh my gosh i must be in a dream, this guy is the best looking man i have ever seen. an hour felt like eternity talking to kenneth the laughter the smiles. i knew i wanted to see this guy again. as i got home later that night he called to check that i was home safe. i knew that night that we would date it was a matter of time. in a process of over a month we took things fast. to me this is normal a guy must like me if things are fast paced. on april 11 2013 kenneth and i started dating. at this time he was in school for enviromental engineering just preaparing for exams. so for 2 or 3 weeks when we first started dating we did not talk.for me that was torture cause one of my love languages is quality time. since we had started dating its not been an easy go. there is times we dont speak at all. i do not enjoy the silence. yet it is in the silence I find God speaking to the depths of my heart. I have not seen kenneth for a while now. he moved an hour and a half away. to be honest the old me would of thrown the towel in by now, the holy spirit is speaking to me alot through this. like who is control of the relationship him or I?
To be honest I believe that this is a time where God is building the foundations of this relationship. its all about God not kenneth and I. sure we would love to be with each other more, enjoying each others presence. but right now we have to work through things and let Gods will be done in this relationship. the easy part is seeing each other the hard part is not knowing when we will see each other next, not knowing when we will have time for each other. to be honest this relationship is a huge faith builder. I cannot depend on kenneth's strengths alone. If God is first in this then I must epend on him not kenneth. if my thoughts are more about kenneth then God then i am placing kenneth on a pedastal of being better then God. this is not how a relationship works. if God is truly first in this relationship it is God that has to be placed higher then everything . since when does a relationship that is centred on God become all about what i want. all about me.... this is a selfish mindset. what is it that God wants of us.... i truly believe that God has a huge destiny and i have to learn these important things now for God takes us through Hard stuff so we can grow and change. its not fun but its worth it. If I talked to kenneth daily i would personally become emotionally dependant on him and thats not fair. it is in the silence that God draws closest to us.
I hope this makes sense to you. for those of you who are single it pays to be gracious and patient. God is your husband i know right it's not the same as a human man haha but he has your best interest in mind he will never fail you never hurt you. you can trust God with your heart. for those of you just starting a relationship. it's cool to take things slow. not to rush into things that you invest so much time and energy into. It is important not to rush anything having a solid foundation makes a difference when the hard times come and you dont want to love that person. as well it is healthy to talk to other couples who are older for advice. you know keep accountable. as well never be afraid to talk about things. girls if your guy does something that you really love dont be afraid to tell him and if he does something that you dont like dont be afraid to tell him either. He will appreciate you more in the long run.
Elz:)
Friday, 21 June 2013
Tuesday, 26 February 2013
what does love look like?
Dear Reader,
How are you really doing today? there's a song on my mind by misty Edwards "arms wide open" before i get Going to much lets take some time to really listen to the words. what does love look like?
For some of us we honestly can't answer this what does love look like?we truly live life not knowing the answer. not knowing who we really are. not knowing our purpose in life. we live in the moment we live by what others tell us. we live for so many things but where does God's true love fit into this? i want to share with you something forming deep in my heart.
the past week God has been pouring his love all over me. teaching me who i really am.see my whole life i lived to get married and you know that need for a guy. but the best part about being single is simple you don't need a guy to tell you who you are. your identity doesn't come from what you do or the guy you are with. true identity comes from God. there's so much i could write on this topic in itself but today we are writing about what does love look like? what is love... in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
maybe you are reading this and you are one that you have been told i love you so many times and every time it just feel so empty. you ask yourself why can't i let someone really love me. maybe you are hurting so bad inside you just went through a really messy break up and this message is the last thing that you want to hear. instead you hide inside and pretend like everything is all good. but inside you are broken and just wishing secretly someone would reach out and save you from your self. i pray that these words would change your broken heart.that God loves you flawless. its never too late for you. Gods love is not empty. it's full of tenderness, kindness, compassion.God is not out to hurt you like others. He loves everything about you. you are worth it Reader.
How are you really doing today? there's a song on my mind by misty Edwards "arms wide open" before i get Going to much lets take some time to really listen to the words. what does love look like?
the past week God has been pouring his love all over me. teaching me who i really am.see my whole life i lived to get married and you know that need for a guy. but the best part about being single is simple you don't need a guy to tell you who you are. your identity doesn't come from what you do or the guy you are with. true identity comes from God. there's so much i could write on this topic in itself but today we are writing about what does love look like? what is love... in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
maybe you are reading this and you are one that you have been told i love you so many times and every time it just feel so empty. you ask yourself why can't i let someone really love me. maybe you are hurting so bad inside you just went through a really messy break up and this message is the last thing that you want to hear. instead you hide inside and pretend like everything is all good. but inside you are broken and just wishing secretly someone would reach out and save you from your self. i pray that these words would change your broken heart.that God loves you flawless. its never too late for you. Gods love is not empty. it's full of tenderness, kindness, compassion.God is not out to hurt you like others. He loves everything about you. you are worth it Reader.
Friday, 22 February 2013
finding love
Dear Reader,
How are you doing? do ever have days where you feel so close yet so far away?
My whole life i have made it my mission get married and have children. in fact i had to make it a competition with my mom. she was married at 21. so at 19 i was like yes I'm going to find me a man and marry him yeah i found a guy but nothing happened, at 21 i was like this is my year. again it didn't happen again at 23 and 25 and nope i didn't get married. it's kind of funny looking back but all you single ladies out there know what I'm talking about. cause you have or are still building yourself up for Mr right!!!in a sense you place yourself on a time line for when you want to get married. if you aren't careful. the desire to get married will overtake you. i know it sounds crazy but trust me not too long ago i was that girl. chasing guys but never waiting on God the perfect gentlemen. thinking if i don't find someone they will never come. crazy so you might think. but how many of us are like that?
I have come to a place where I don't need a man to tell me he loves me. if i cant love myself how can i ever let a man love me? do you love yourself? when you look into the mirror and see yourself what is the first thought that comes to you? young woman you are most beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.it's time to see who God has painted you to look like.
1. you are beautiful.
2. you are worth fighting for
3. you are most valuable there is no one that will ever be exactly you
4. you are worthy. it doesn't matter what your past holds let it go. i know that's hard it took me what seemed like a life time to let go and let God
5. you are 100% original
6. you are lovely
7. you are precious a diamond in the rough.
the list could go on. as you begin to speak life to yourself something begins to change in your life.
in order to find love you must first love God and love yourself.then watch when you are not looking the right man who will lead you not pressure you he will come. as woman we are not meant to hunt for our men we are to be pursued. so wait and let god work on you a little longer.
Elz
How are you doing? do ever have days where you feel so close yet so far away?
My whole life i have made it my mission get married and have children. in fact i had to make it a competition with my mom. she was married at 21. so at 19 i was like yes I'm going to find me a man and marry him yeah i found a guy but nothing happened, at 21 i was like this is my year. again it didn't happen again at 23 and 25 and nope i didn't get married. it's kind of funny looking back but all you single ladies out there know what I'm talking about. cause you have or are still building yourself up for Mr right!!!in a sense you place yourself on a time line for when you want to get married. if you aren't careful. the desire to get married will overtake you. i know it sounds crazy but trust me not too long ago i was that girl. chasing guys but never waiting on God the perfect gentlemen. thinking if i don't find someone they will never come. crazy so you might think. but how many of us are like that?
I have come to a place where I don't need a man to tell me he loves me. if i cant love myself how can i ever let a man love me? do you love yourself? when you look into the mirror and see yourself what is the first thought that comes to you? young woman you are most beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.it's time to see who God has painted you to look like.
1. you are beautiful.
2. you are worth fighting for
3. you are most valuable there is no one that will ever be exactly you
4. you are worthy. it doesn't matter what your past holds let it go. i know that's hard it took me what seemed like a life time to let go and let God
5. you are 100% original
6. you are lovely
7. you are precious a diamond in the rough.
the list could go on. as you begin to speak life to yourself something begins to change in your life.
in order to find love you must first love God and love yourself.then watch when you are not looking the right man who will lead you not pressure you he will come. as woman we are not meant to hunt for our men we are to be pursued. so wait and let god work on you a little longer.
Elz
Thursday, 3 January 2013
falling to peices
Dear Reader,
How have you been? Here is a topic that can be tricky. we face a society of people pleasers. people longing to be accepted. doing whatever it takes to feel adequacy of the heart. trying so hard to be something fit into society we miss out on the true heart of things.
for the first time in a long time this is a topic so dear to me. but its hard to write about for some reason. you see i don't want to write about what you want to hear. i don't want to pretend anymore. so here i am going to be real and raw.
so many of us are going through hard things i mean its hard tough stuff. and for most of our lives we have been told not to talk about it. so here we are we are aching to speak up and say what's real. but how can we start to talk about the real deal heart issues. maybe it starts here and maybe it doesn't. but let me try and use my voice to build all of us up.
it was a summer day and the sun shining brighter then the days past. thoughts of Jonah running through her mind. how determined she was to marry him. after all they had so much in common. something you have to know about belle once she got something in her mind she wouldn't stop till she got it. then when Jonah came along they became so close. he was shy belle was enthusiastic a dreamer. belle knew she had a good thing. he would take his time and wait while belle would go about adventure and try and rush timing. both very simple in there own way. this carried on for quite awhile then one day belle and Jonah had a fight and things changed. slowly and seemingly there conversations came to a mute so to speak. belle decided out of anger that she'd teach Jonah a lesson so she found any guy who would love her. and show interest she began to lose herself. one kiss at a time. she smiled on the outside as if nothing happened. but she kept compromising her heart her identity in guys who never wanted anything but sex. belle was to focused on pleasing the temporal fix, she lost sight of the good in her life. she fell hard. and thought she had no one to turn too.then Alexander came and he showed her love. he was the man who spoke love. but when it came to time. he never had time for belle. she started to get frustrated and think that Alexander didn't care about her. yet he tried to reach out to her, but as determined and damaged as belle had become.she broke up with Alexander she started to form so much anger towards men. again on the outside she played the part of good. inside she was falling to pieces. just wanted to be loved and comforted.she again started looking everywhere for love in the background. she met another guy at a special event. he was very tall dark and handsome. belle was immediately connected to Carlton. Carlton brought a new smile upon belle's face. she thought Carlton would be the perfect cover. belle would forget her hurt and fool around with Carlton. it brought momentarily affection that could not erase how belle really felt inside. so belle stopped talking to Carlton for a while and thought that not talking would solve her problem. but it didn't. it made her miss and want Carlton more. she became so dependant on Carlton that she started to lose sight of her relationship with God. you see all along God was there through the pain and the laughter. he never left belle's side. he stood by her with arms wide open.a heart full of love. belle thought that she would never be good enough because of all the things she did. but God spoke gently to her belle my darling i love you i seen what you did and i know where i am taking you. belle fell to the ground and cried for she thought herself to be damaged and unreachable.
maybe your story is different from belle. or maybe you are in the same place that belle has been. the only way out is to really believe that God loves you. i know it sounds cliche. but when we realise just how much God loves us. we don't need all the guys in the world to emotionally fill up. we as men and woman all need Jesus. there is a longing to fill in the voids. the loneliness, we can trust Jesus. trust me i know about trust and I'm still learning...
anyways i think ill leave with this thought. "stand for something or fall for anything".
Jesus loves you this i know, for the bible tells me so. little ones to him belong we are weak and he is strong. yes Jesus loves you. the bible tells me so.
elz
How have you been? Here is a topic that can be tricky. we face a society of people pleasers. people longing to be accepted. doing whatever it takes to feel adequacy of the heart. trying so hard to be something fit into society we miss out on the true heart of things.
for the first time in a long time this is a topic so dear to me. but its hard to write about for some reason. you see i don't want to write about what you want to hear. i don't want to pretend anymore. so here i am going to be real and raw.
so many of us are going through hard things i mean its hard tough stuff. and for most of our lives we have been told not to talk about it. so here we are we are aching to speak up and say what's real. but how can we start to talk about the real deal heart issues. maybe it starts here and maybe it doesn't. but let me try and use my voice to build all of us up.
it was a summer day and the sun shining brighter then the days past. thoughts of Jonah running through her mind. how determined she was to marry him. after all they had so much in common. something you have to know about belle once she got something in her mind she wouldn't stop till she got it. then when Jonah came along they became so close. he was shy belle was enthusiastic a dreamer. belle knew she had a good thing. he would take his time and wait while belle would go about adventure and try and rush timing. both very simple in there own way. this carried on for quite awhile then one day belle and Jonah had a fight and things changed. slowly and seemingly there conversations came to a mute so to speak. belle decided out of anger that she'd teach Jonah a lesson so she found any guy who would love her. and show interest she began to lose herself. one kiss at a time. she smiled on the outside as if nothing happened. but she kept compromising her heart her identity in guys who never wanted anything but sex. belle was to focused on pleasing the temporal fix, she lost sight of the good in her life. she fell hard. and thought she had no one to turn too.then Alexander came and he showed her love. he was the man who spoke love. but when it came to time. he never had time for belle. she started to get frustrated and think that Alexander didn't care about her. yet he tried to reach out to her, but as determined and damaged as belle had become.she broke up with Alexander she started to form so much anger towards men. again on the outside she played the part of good. inside she was falling to pieces. just wanted to be loved and comforted.she again started looking everywhere for love in the background. she met another guy at a special event. he was very tall dark and handsome. belle was immediately connected to Carlton. Carlton brought a new smile upon belle's face. she thought Carlton would be the perfect cover. belle would forget her hurt and fool around with Carlton. it brought momentarily affection that could not erase how belle really felt inside. so belle stopped talking to Carlton for a while and thought that not talking would solve her problem. but it didn't. it made her miss and want Carlton more. she became so dependant on Carlton that she started to lose sight of her relationship with God. you see all along God was there through the pain and the laughter. he never left belle's side. he stood by her with arms wide open.a heart full of love. belle thought that she would never be good enough because of all the things she did. but God spoke gently to her belle my darling i love you i seen what you did and i know where i am taking you. belle fell to the ground and cried for she thought herself to be damaged and unreachable.
maybe your story is different from belle. or maybe you are in the same place that belle has been. the only way out is to really believe that God loves you. i know it sounds cliche. but when we realise just how much God loves us. we don't need all the guys in the world to emotionally fill up. we as men and woman all need Jesus. there is a longing to fill in the voids. the loneliness, we can trust Jesus. trust me i know about trust and I'm still learning...
anyways i think ill leave with this thought. "stand for something or fall for anything".
Jesus loves you this i know, for the bible tells me so. little ones to him belong we are weak and he is strong. yes Jesus loves you. the bible tells me so.
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