Friday, 21 June 2013

foundations in relationships

Dear Reader's
   I'd like to dedicate this blog to those of us starting in a new relationship or thinking about being in one. or maybe you are single and are envying those of us in relationships.
  First of all i would like to clear this up relationships are not a fairytale. in february i met my boyfriend. our first date was march 1st.  i remember it as if it was yesterday. I showed up early and as i waited at tim hortons for kenneth to show up i played games on my phone.  then there was a moment as i looked up and saw him. i thought oh my gosh i must be in a dream, this guy is the best looking man i have ever seen. an  hour felt like eternity talking to kenneth the laughter the smiles.  i knew i wanted to see this guy again.  as i got home later that night he called to check that i was home safe.  i knew that night that we would date it was a matter of time. in a process of over a month we took things fast.  to me this is normal a guy must like me if things are fast paced. on april 11 2013 kenneth and i started dating. at this time he was in school for enviromental engineering just preaparing for exams. so for 2 or 3 weeks when we first started dating we did not talk.for me that was torture cause one of my love languages is quality time. since we had started dating its not been an easy go. there is times we dont speak at all. i do not  enjoy the silence. yet it is in the silence I find God speaking to the depths of my heart. I have not seen kenneth for a while now. he moved an hour and a half away. to be honest the old me would of thrown the towel in by now, the holy spirit is speaking to me alot through this. like who is control of the relationship him or I?
 To be honest I believe that this is a time where God is building the foundations of this relationship. its all about God not kenneth and I. sure we would love to be with each other more, enjoying each others presence. but right now  we have to work through things and let Gods will be done in this relationship. the easy part is seeing each other the  hard part is not knowing when we will see each other  next, not knowing when we will have time for each other. to be honest this relationship is a huge faith builder.  I cannot depend on kenneth's strengths alone. If God is first in this then I must  epend on him not kenneth. if  my thoughts are more about kenneth then God then i am placing kenneth on a pedastal of being better then God. this is not how a relationship works.  if God is truly first in this relationship it is God that has to be placed higher then everything . since when  does  a relationship that is centred on God become all about what  i want.  all about me.... this is a selfish mindset.  what is it that God  wants of us.... i truly believe that God has a huge destiny and  i have to learn these important things now for God takes us through Hard stuff so we can grow and change. its not  fun but its worth it. If I talked to kenneth daily i would personally become emotionally dependant on him and thats not fair. it is in the silence that God draws  closest to us.
 I hope this makes sense to you.  for those of you who are single it pays to be gracious and patient. God is your husband i know right it's not the same as a human man haha but he  has your best interest in mind he will never fail you never hurt you. you can trust God with your heart.  for those of you just  starting a relationship.  it's cool to take things slow.  not to rush into things that you invest so much time and energy into. It is important not to rush anything having a solid foundation makes a difference when the hard times come and you dont want to love that person. as  well it is healthy to talk to other couples who are older for advice. you  know keep accountable. as well never be afraid to talk about things. girls if your guy does something that you really love dont be afraid to tell him and if he does something that you dont like dont be afraid to tell him either. He will  appreciate you more in the long run.

Elz:)

Tuesday, 26 February 2013

what does love look like?

Dear Reader,
 How are you really doing today? there's a song on my mind by misty Edwards "arms wide open" before i  get Going to much lets take some time to really listen to the words. what does love look like?
   For some of us we honestly can't answer this what does love look like?we truly live life  not  knowing the answer. not knowing who we really are. not knowing our purpose in life. we live in the moment we live by what others tell us. we live for so many things but where does God's true love fit into this? i want to share with you something forming deep in my heart.
  the past week God has been pouring his love all over me. teaching me who i really am.see my whole life i lived to get married  and  you know  that need  for a guy.  but the  best part about being single is simple you don't need a guy  to tell you who you are. your identity  doesn't come from what you do or the guy you are with. true identity comes from God.  there's so much i could  write on this topic in itself but today we are writing about what does love look like? what is love...  in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
  maybe you are reading this and you are  one that you have been told i love you so many times and  every time it just feel so empty.  you ask yourself why can't i let someone really love me. maybe you are hurting so bad inside you  just went through a really messy break up and this message is the last thing that you want to hear. instead you hide inside and  pretend like everything is all good. but inside you are broken and just wishing secretly  someone would reach out and save you  from your self. i pray that these words  would change your broken heart.that God loves you flawless. its never too late for you. Gods love is not empty. it's full of tenderness, kindness, compassion.God is  not out to hurt you like others.  He loves everything about you. you  are worth it Reader.

Friday, 22 February 2013

finding love

Dear Reader,
  How are you doing?  do ever  have  days where  you  feel so close yet so far away?

  My whole life i have made it my mission get  married  and have  children.  in fact i had to make it a competition with my mom.  she was married  at 21.  so at 19 i was like  yes I'm  going to find me a man and marry him  yeah i found a guy  but nothing happened,  at  21  i was like this is my year.  again  it didn't  happen again at  23 and  25 and  nope i didn't  get married.  it's  kind of funny  looking back but all you single ladies out there  know what I'm talking about.  cause you have or are still building yourself up  for  Mr right!!!in a sense you place yourself on a time line for when you  want to get married. if you aren't careful. the  desire  to get married will overtake you. i know it  sounds crazy  but  trust me not  too long ago i was that girl. chasing  guys  but never  waiting on God the perfect gentlemen.  thinking if i  don't  find  someone they will never  come.   crazy  so you  might think. but  how  many of us  are like that?
  I have  come  to a place where I don't  need  a man  to tell me he loves me.  if  i cant love myself how can i ever let a man love me?  do you  love yourself? when you  look  into the  mirror and see yourself what is the first thought  that  comes to you? young  woman  you  are most  beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.it's  time to  see who  God  has  painted you  to  look like.
1. you are beautiful.
2. you  are  worth fighting for
3. you are most  valuable there is  no one that will ever  be  exactly you
4. you  are  worthy. it doesn't matter  what  your  past  holds  let it go. i know that's  hard it took me what  seemed like a life time to let go and let God
5. you  are  100% original
6. you  are  lovely
7. you  are  precious a diamond in the  rough.

   the  list could  go on. as  you  begin to speak life  to yourself  something  begins to change  in your life.
  in order to  find  love  you  must  first love  God and love yourself.then  watch  when you are not looking the  right man  who  will lead you not pressure you he will come. as  woman we are  not  meant to hunt for  our men we are  to be pursued. so  wait  and let  god work on you  a  little  longer.

Elz

Thursday, 3 January 2013

falling to peices

Dear Reader,
  How have you been? Here is a topic that can be tricky.  we  face a society of people pleasers. people longing to be accepted.  doing whatever it takes to feel adequacy of the heart. trying so hard to be something fit into society we miss out on the true heart of things.
  for the  first time  in a long time this  is  a topic so dear to me. but its hard to write  about  for  some reason. you  see i don't want to write  about what you  want to hear.  i don't  want to pretend anymore. so here  i am  going to be real and  raw.
 so many of us are going through hard things i mean its hard tough stuff. and  for most of our  lives  we have been  told  not to talk about it. so here we are we are aching to speak up and say what's real.  but how can we start to talk about the  real deal heart issues. maybe it starts here and maybe it doesn't. but let me try and use my voice to build all of us up.
 it was a summer day and the sun shining brighter then the  days past. thoughts of Jonah  running through her mind.  how  determined she was to marry him. after all they had so much in common. something you  have to know about belle once she  got something in her mind she  wouldn't stop till she got it.  then when Jonah came along they became so close. he was shy belle was enthusiastic a dreamer. belle knew she had a good thing. he would take his time and wait while belle would go about adventure and try and rush timing.  both very simple in there own way. this carried on for quite awhile then one day belle and Jonah had a fight  and things changed. slowly and  seemingly there  conversations came to  a mute  so to speak.  belle decided out of anger that she'd teach Jonah a lesson so she found  any  guy who would  love her.  and  show interest she began to lose herself. one  kiss at a time.  she smiled on the outside as if nothing happened. but she kept compromising  her  heart her identity in guys who never wanted  anything but sex.  belle was to focused on pleasing the temporal  fix,  she lost sight of the good in her life. she fell hard.  and thought  she had no one to turn too.then Alexander came and he  showed her  love. he was the man who  spoke  love.  but  when it came to time. he never had time for belle.  she  started to  get frustrated and think that Alexander didn't care about her. yet he tried to reach out to her, but as determined and damaged  as belle had become.she  broke up with Alexander she  started to  form so much anger towards men.  again on the outside  she played the part of  good.  inside she was  falling to pieces. just wanted to  be  loved and comforted.she  again started looking everywhere for love in the background.  she met another guy at a special event. he was very tall dark and  handsome. belle was immediately connected to Carlton. Carlton brought a new  smile upon belle's face. she thought Carlton  would be the perfect cover.  belle  would forget  her hurt and fool around with Carlton. it brought momentarily  affection that  could not erase  how belle  really  felt inside.  so  belle  stopped  talking to Carlton for a while and thought  that not talking  would solve  her problem.  but it didn't. it made her miss and want Carlton more. she  became so dependant on Carlton that she  started to lose sight of her  relationship with God. you  see all along  God  was there through the  pain and the  laughter. he  never left belle's side. he  stood by her with arms wide open.a heart full of love. belle  thought  that she  would never be  good enough  because of  all the  things she  did.  but God  spoke  gently  to her  belle my darling i love you i  seen what you did and i know where i am taking you. belle  fell to the  ground  and  cried  for she  thought  herself  to be damaged and  unreachable.
 maybe your  story is different  from belle. or maybe you are in the  same place that belle has been. the only  way out is  to  really  believe that God loves you.  i know it  sounds cliche. but when we realise just how much God loves us.  we don't need  all the guys in the world to emotionally fill up.  we as men and woman all need Jesus. there is a longing to fill in the  voids. the loneliness,  we can trust Jesus. trust me  i know about  trust and  I'm still learning...

anyways  i think ill  leave with this  thought.  "stand  for  something or fall for anything".
 Jesus  loves you this i know, for the bible tells me so.  little ones to him belong we are weak and he is strong. yes Jesus loves you. the  bible  tells  me so.

elz