Wednesday, 12 September 2012

detoured

Dear Reader's,
  Where  to start. well let's pretend we are going to a destination. you can choose where you want to go!     
   Imagine if you will we start off to our destination. let's say we are going to Florida the sunshine state.  we start off driving of course we are using a gps. and for safe measures a road map. so we start off and everything is going great, we are off  to a good start making good time. then you are on the I75 inner state highway driving through Detroit.all of a sudden your tire goes flat. so now your schedule is thrown off. you have to find a spare tire and or the nearest auto repair shop.  this throws off your timing. you are  now in a set back and delay.  you are feeling a little frustrated like really why didn't someone check the tires before we left?  but that's OK we still have  time we can get back on the road and still make up some timing. after waiting for an hour for the road side assistance to come to your aide and fix your tire. at this time everyone is a little more then anxious. you start on your way again determined to make up time. after a few more hours with a few pit stops here and there along the way.  you are with in an hour or  2 to reaching your destination. and all of a sudden you hit a construction zone. and i mean traffic is  lined up you look at the line and try to find a way out of it. but  there is no way to escape this construction zone. you wait another another and finally you are  at stand point. you are next to pass in the  construction zone. you get past this zone and you are starting to see palm trees. you are getting more and more excited. you are now minutes within your destination.
  this sounds like a crazy scenario right!!!!  see sometimes our life is like this. we have this plan for our life.  we are doing well we are making good timing everything is great.  then all of sudden you hit a really hard spot and you are then temporarily detoured.  some people you take longer to get out of this  detour.  then you get over it. and again things are fine everything is great again then all of a sudden one thing after another next thing you know it your life is spinning out of control. while you are waiting for the  construction God is really trying to rebuild and restore you. but let's get real here do we really like to wait? when we see things right in front of us. sometimes we are so close to our destination but yet so far from God! why? is that cause we didn't want to trust him, we didn't want to give him time to really work out all things in our lives and in the background. we are to anxious almost as if we place God on a time line if you don't do what i want now then i will shut you out i will be  angry with you God. when clearly the bible  says if he is for us then who can be against us. 
  where are you on your destination are you in the good times or the  bad? know this that God will always make a way so just  trust him. i know this seems like a foreign concept!


Elz

Monday, 27 August 2012

Picking up the leftover's

Dear Reader's,
  There  is much i can speak on in this area, i just  want to share a piece of my heart with you. my version of leftovers are not the food you  couldn't eat last night so you put it in the fridge to eat later. leftovers are the ones who feel like Miss fits, the victims of being picked on bullied those that feel  inadequate. those who feel like rejects, those looked passed and who feel invisible.
  Right now  let's  talk to those trying to figure out who you are. maybe you are heading off to yet another year of school and you are dreading it. or maybe you feel like a stranger in your own home. like if  they  even knew what i am facing  maybe they  wouldn't love me. or maybe you are a a new person and  you are  shy and don't  know how to  fit in  with people so you  act different  to try and feel cool. maybe you   are  dating a guy and he's all wrong for you. or you are  the guy  who  has thoughts of  failure, you just  want your  dad  to be  proud of you.or you are the brother or sister who always fits  in the shadows of your older siblings.  or maybe  you have  hidden  secrets and it's  starting to catch up with you.  
  young man and young woman where ever you are  no matter  what  you are going through know this  you are  never alone.i have  felt  all of the above at times. and thought  if people only knew  what i was really going through would i  be  put on judgement. would i be doomed a disease of some sort would i  fall into a pit of failure.  all these  thoughts are real right? but they are also all lies. the kind of lie that sounds so good that it seems  true. the  kinda  that  make you  believe  that you are  not  good enough that you are  just a Miss fit and you will always  be  a reject. you  know those lies i know cause i have believed them to. but today  in this  moment  in this  hour i want to  give you  some hope. i want to  tell you  how much God truly loves you. i know some of you have lost  hope of love. you have been hurt so bad that to you  love isn't real. people have  Miss used it so much on you that  you can't  love anymore.you  have grown empty and cold. then  there's  those that  know  you are loved but can't  receive it from  the over play of "love" love has a different meaning to you.  its in the form of  sex and  if you  don't do what  you're bf  says  then you  will never  be loved. so you cave in every time. you try and fight it but every time you  see the  guy  you get weak and  lose your  confidence, you  give into what  he wants  cause that is how you  think he loves you. but  inside  you are striving to feel  loved  for you. you know what  he is doing is  wrong and  yet  you fall  again and again  cause your mind tells you  if you  don't stick with him then no one will ever  accept you.  that you  lose your value.  that you are unworthy  of love.  that  is also  a big  fat  lie.  young  woman you are loved flawless,  you  are  worthy. i know how much  courage  it takes to stand up to those  lies. for the  past  month and a half i have believed those same lies. if I  don't  give into  what he  wants  will anyone ever see me  love me. I am telling you  on a  woman to woman level here.  it  hurts to  think we have  no value,  when God is  trying to get our attention to say  hey  I adore you, I love you, I choose you, I will fight for you. when you  believe those lies for so long we begin to sell ourselves short. now to you  young man, yeah you!  you  know who you are. you have been  hiding  for along time.  you  know  what's  right  but  there  is  these  lies that  you  have been listening to,  you  want to  be popular just to feel accepted for your  dad to  see  the real man that you are becoming. to just  have  someone  know that  things aren't as good as they seem. so you  turn to things to  fill in that  void in your life.God loves you young man where you are at.i  know you  feel like you  have to be tough. and maybe  i am completely  off.  but  i am speaking  from a heart of someone who has  fell victim to many things in my life.  and   the  way to  change  the  mind sets the  thoughts we are listening to is surrender to God. living for God is  going to be hard rest  assured.  but i promise  you this  young man  young woman  it is worth it.
    I just  want to  finish  with a  quick prayer.  if any of this resonates with you  please  let me now and id love to pray more  or  even  just  here  your  story if you  so desire. and if you  don't  know  Jesus  then  let me know and id love to share more of my story  with you.  young man  and young woman you are worth  more then  you  can ever imagine.if  nothing  else hear this  God  loves you  no matter  what it is never to late.God is never  to far.

Dear Jesus I  pray  that  every  single beating heart that reads this will be touched and find  you in  new  ways,  Jesus  draw  near to us  your  children,  bring breakthrough in areas that we don't even know about, Jesus  remove off the offended hearts, let them know how much you  love them  where  they are.

Elz

Friday, 17 August 2012

out of the darkness comes a light

Dear Readers,

    Have you  ever  gone through a really dry  time in life. just  when you think you are good  then  something  comes again.  like a flash  flood.  now  i  realise that we are all at  different walks  seasons in our lives. so this may or may not apply to you.
     Out of the darkest times in my life  through measures of  chaos and  discontent God has showed up every time. this might  be  crazy but i am at work  just  watching my clear water bottle it  has this  filter thing where  water  drips. but there is a  big drop  and i keep anticipating it's  fall  as if that's  what  it should do right? but this drop gets bigger and bigger and it's  not falling almost more water  gravitates to it. and when i stopped  focusing on this drop that's  when it fell. see  when you  focuss on  so much of whats wrong in your  life   you get  caught up in the  wrong but when you  really  release  those things that  hold you  back that hold you  captive to your own self. it's like  "water off a ducks back." you  just  let it go and it's like nothing. now let's be real for a moment.when  darkness comes  in our lives  we  don't always  notice it. it comes through  choices we make and  decisions and  mindsets. often times  we  don't even  know  how we come across.
  just  last weekend  one of  my best friends  put me in my place and  told me elz you  have been  so fake  so  judgemental and i haven't  been able to talk to you  about  real things.  it was like  stripping  a mask of  darkness off. and showing me just how i have been to  so many.  it's  so easy to  want to  change  everyone else and see there  flaws  but what  about you?  what you are doing is  limiting your  connection and  so that other  person feels  like they have to  deceive you.  lets  just  take this darkness off please and get real with  what's going on in our lives. we are the  light  of the  world a city on a hill cannot be hidden from us. take  off the masks its OK  to be  vulnerable sometimes.  we all  have  problems  we all have  stuff.  so  know this  you are  not alone.  even in the  worst of the worst God loves you.  he  cares so much for you.  so whatever  it is that is causing darkness in your  life  let it go,  cause i  bet you want peace  you  feel angry you have all these  emotions that you can't explain. take some layers off  don't let  the  water drop  get to  big  before it falls.  deal with the  struggles  in your  life before it gets worse and  you flee from everything good , pure, noble and right in your life.  trust me it  is not worth it.  i have been  through so much and it hurts you  more in the end.


Hope  this speaks to you

Elz
 

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

gems

Hey Reader's,

  How are you doing today? there is so many  different  ways to looks at  G.E.M.S  there is a  christian  organisation usually found in the  missionary  churches or maybe  baptists called gems.  i can't  recall what it stands for at the  moment.today  we are going to  write a different  take on gems.
  you  know that for every  month there is a different  gem  stone.  I'm not to  fond of my birth stone  colour.  I  always  wanted the  pretty  one  like  September  march or  December.  where as  topaz  for November to some is very  beautiful to me its  boring! you  will  see here in a moment  just  where i am going  with this.  OK   so every  month has a specific gem. each  unique each planned.  I am a November  baby  holla  at me  November  babies lol.  anyways  its  this  yellowish  topaz  colour to me  i think yuk  what is that colour  but  just now  i realise this,  whether the  colour is nice or not  someone  put alot of effort  into creating this gem, there  was a huge process  into making this  gem.  so really who am i to judge  this  masterpiece. OK so here's  where i am coming with that  yuk  colour. we as humans  have  sin in us   that ugly  colour  is  like our  sin.  but  the  other colours represent  love joy peace patience   kindness meekness. etc. even at our ugliest moments there can be beauty from deep within.
  what gem are you today beautiful purified and refined. or are you the gem in process. being shaped and moulded into who you are.
   you are priceless possession though you don't see yourself as beautiful always there is such beauty inside. maybe you  are just being chiseled and prepared for the most beautiful of all.
 

Elz

transition

Reader's,
   How  are thing's with you?  here is  something i am  walking through transition.  about  2 weeks ago my  sister and I  had a "talk" she  told me she  is  moving out  before I  never took it seriously like  yeah  how many times have you   said  something  and you never  really  took action.  this time i knew  she  meant business. so i went on nanny services.com.  i know alot of people reading this might be  from my  local church crossroads community church. there are  people trying to get me to stay.  but here's the  truth.  I  have always taken care of everyone else and that's  great  but where i am i need to  grow up, I need  to  find  who I am. I have lived for and through others  for  so long that  I don't  know who I am.I'm not one that  adapts to change well. but i am ready  to  stop living in fear of  what if.  all these  fears  lurking  around me i have been living in a bubble of a life. if it's safe then i guess I'll do it.  even when i am  wild and crazy  i plan  it  to a degree.  if i know it's  not safe i  wont  do it. I  want you all to understand  this is not a running away  thing. this is  i need to  know who i am and who God is to me. I need a refreshed  fire for God  not for  others for me. this is a  season,  a place where I need to surrender  and  learn to  really trust God and trust myself,  forgive myself  from secret  sins  from pasts that  have  left me  damaged. I am a prize possession, a woman of God that needs God more then life itself. no matter  where i go where i live God has my back. as he has yours as too. 
  maybe you are where I am and you are fighting through so much that  it weigh's you  down so much. I am here living in it right now.  here's  the thing just talking about it helps. admitting to God to others  hey i  don't have it together you  know  know the answer's you might be  surprised  to know that other' feel the same.

elz

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

No man left behind

Hi, hope  God is blessing you  mightily today. today I want to  write  about  leaving no one  behind.
  I am just siting here in my  chair and i got thinking to myself. if you  saw  a  crippled legging behind in a race or  someone  legging  behind  and you were  at the front of  the  line this was the  race of your life. would you run and get  those people so they  wouldn't  fail. you  may lose the biggest  race. but you  gain victory. you may be asking how can you lose the race but  gain  victory. here's  how you sacrificed your  position  to help out those who didn't have the  strength  to run on there  own. you offered strength  when  there was none. you  reached down and became the  one person to reach  out.
  see  there  is a world out there that just  needs us to be there  Jesus. not  be Jesus  but  Christlike. today  i pray that  as  you read this blog that  God  would place  people upon your heart, whether  you just  pray for them or you  call them up  send them  a message  hey  i am thinking about you today.you never  know when that  could be  the  most pivotal point in there lives.
  i know over  the  past 2 years I've prayed God please just  send someone to  encourage me  or  just  be there.  cause  there has been times i have been  worn out.and just needed  someone  it didn't matter who.  just  someone. will you  be that  someone  today,  will  you  run back  for those that are legging behind  and give them  the  truth, the  love of Christ.
  think about it and let God  place  those specific  people upon the tablets  of your heart. as well as check out psalm 18.
  may  God fill your hearts  with  compassion and love  for other's today.  may  you feel peace like never before. be blessed.



elz

Monday, 23 July 2012

Running on Empty

Dear  Reader

 
what's  up?  So I   was  at home the other  day and all of a sudden i thought about  those   leaders,   young and old  who  are SO busy that they  run themselves empty   then i got thinking about  cars.  so  hopefully  you  can follow my analogy.
 OK  Rachel's old  car  the  Chevy cavalier  was a  death  mobile. the  gas speedometer  didn't  work on it  so you  never  knew how much gas  was in it  other then  when the  smell of gas got really strong. anyways there  was a few times  we  ended up pushing  her  car to a nearest  gas  station. 
    OK so  how  is being empty  like an oil change as well as a  empty  gas tank.  well  think of it like this  we  all need  proper  tools to function when we don't read our bible its like emptying out the  gas  tank eventually there's  going to be  no more  gas  in your  tank.   so we  need to  keep filling ourselves up with the  word  daily.  the oil change is like  the essentials of our life if we don't take care  of ourselves and we keep putting junk in ourselves we  can  run  dry, we become  black like old oil.  
  I  am in a place in life where  i feel so empty,  so dry.  for me it's  cause i don't think about how much God truly  loves me. we  all  have things that  fill us up.  but  what  are you filling yourself up with?  pure  crap  or  pure  rich  stuff.  like worship, positive thinking,  Gods  word.  you can fill in the blanks for yourself. I  know that  we  all have  different  reasons  to why we  feel  empty.this morning almost afternoon  i  keep thinking about  people who are running on  empty.whether its there emotional love tank is  empty.  its like  a car if you don't take time to fill  your  car  up  with   gasoline you  eventually  run on empty. if you  don't  check your oil levels  it  can worse case  scenario blow  your  transmission. cause in cars there  is  2 kinds of  oil  changes, there is  the  normal oil change  which is to be changed every  5000-10,000 kilometres or miles   then there  is a transmission oil change that  should be done every  i think  50-80 thousand kilometres or miles. what happens when you  don't check this is eventually   your transmission  seizes  up kind of like a hard  surface.  same thing happens with people  if they  stop   reading the  bible they run out they run dry and  can become  empty and callous eventually.  now  how do we change the  cycle  back to  the  car analogy  again.  in order to do an oil change you must  first  get out  the  right  tools jack up  or  boost  up your car  then when you are under you   will place a bucket  and loosen up the  thing  where  your oil  comes  out. what happens is it comes through a  filter  you can always  tell when you haven't changed your  oil  on time the  oil is black and almost thicker substance.  anyways   you wait for the  oil  to come out then  when its all out  you  wipe  your area down  now the secret to putting the  new filter  in is take some of the old oil  and   rub it along the top  where  you  twist it on so it will go into place better. then when you make sure there is no  dirt   you  pour  your  new oil in.

Elz
 

clean

    Here's  to  everyone  out there  that is struggling with purity now.  this  is  a subject that   everyone  deals with.  i want to share some of my  story with you. in hopes that  those who read this will be encouraged knowing that where ever you  are where you struggle the  most there is a way  to come clean.
  OK  so last year i lost  a lot of weight  i was the  smallest  i had been in 10 years.  I didn't  know what  it was like to have guys  like me. I totally  sucked in the attention.  i messed up with  a guy. it was just a kiss no harm done right? wrong! that  only lasted about a month or 2.  then  last  June i  met  up with a old guy friend from high school.  he  was  super attractive in my opinion we did  all the things  a  dating couple does. canoeing, playing music  together  writing letters back and forth. we had so many laughs and fun times. as this  friendship  developed i convinced myself that i was going to marry this guy one day he  just  didn't know it yet.  he didn't understand  how determined  i was.  everything  was all good  he was like my best friend. very  honest,  respectable,  even now  hes one of the most honourable guys i know. anyways 2 weeks  before  Christmas  we had a talk and  decided it was time to  break off all ties.  it was an emotional break up.  but  the  damage it  bestowed upon my heart. left me in ruins, i tried to convince everyone i was fine  and there  was days  that i really was. but  other days i just wanted to  crawl in a corner and  hide  myself. i  began  to isolate  myself from  friends and  others. slowly  taking myself out of  service at  church. I was completely broken inside. we had the hugest fight  i think it was  like 3 weeks  later.  it left me even more hurt,  in shackles. it was like this  huge part of me was stripped out.  I tried to contain my hurt  but  there  were nights  i would  cry myself to sleep. then  wake up the  next  day and  where  a smile as if there  was nothing wrong.  in January i decided i was tired of  feeling sorry  for myself. so  I went on christian mingle.com talked to a few guys but nothing much at  first then i met this  guy he ended up being from  Michigan.He came down from  Michigan. i figured he was a christian. so I'd  be safe.  no i was not.  he  was stronger then i  we  ended up fooling around.  that same week  i  messed up with another  guy. none of these  guys meant anything to me i was trying to cover up the pain that  i  felt inside.it was then that i opened the  doors to places for the enemy  to really get a hold of me.  he  has really  lied to me and i am telling you  now  its not fun. the  damage that  comes from  even just  opening the door a crack is not worth it. I am still fighting through  the  damage. just  when I  thought i wouldn't  fall   for  the lies i did.  here's  the  truth i tried to  run from my problems  but  instead got  sucked in further trying to  deny  and  say that i  don't  have  purity  issues. 
  The  other day  I was  cleaning windows outside  at work and as I started i realised that  there  was a place i missed. as I sprayed more  Windex on  and  scrubbed a little  harder. God spoke  to me he  said."elz sometimes when you  think you are  clean  on the outside you  need  to  go a Little  deeper  on the inside."
  you  know  why  we feel unclean is  from things  we do that  we know are wrong.  to anyone who says  oh it's  easy  just  don't  sin.  you're  wrong we have all fallen short  of the glory of God.  who  am i to judge you.  here's the  thing  each of us  are  ugly inside  what i mean  have  you  ever  lied cheated  stolen,   said  mean things,  used  Gods  name in vein, ( just to clear this up this is not a  pity  party  make you  feel bad about yourself blog) treated  someone less then they way they  ought to be treated. I  have. I have hurt  lied  cheated  judged  etc  you  know  the list goes on for all of us.  all those  things  alone  make us  clean that is the  flesh.  but when you  have the holy spirit living in you.  the   bible  says. as far as the east  is from the from west that's  how far he  has removed our  transgressions from us. so  let's  stop  feeling  sorry for  ourselves and get up  and  give our  uncleanliness to God. i  know that  it hurts  trust me i am here with you  all.  this is not easy  but  if we  are going to move  forward in life  we  must begin to let God  change us  redeem us, find us  where  we are  at. greater  is he that is in us then he that is in the world.  maybe this makes  sense and maybe it doesn't but  its  real stuff.  i  could write  more here  but i think we  will let  this  penetrate us.  let it sink in. we  are  worthy,  we are  valuable we are made new in Christ just have to let him be God and step aside.


Elz
 

Thursday, 19 July 2012

you can run but you can't hide

Reader's
  How are you doing today? here's a  question  we are each asked every day, here is the truth  some ask how you  are cause they  care and others it's a  conversation starter where as  other's  they  just ask  and don't  care to really know!!  you  can spot out  each types usally. today i want to talk about running you'll  see how I  tie "how are you" to running in a moment...
 Ok so have you ever  wanted to  run?  wanted to escape to  paradise you know where  there's no hard times  everything is  ginger  peachy dandy fine. no one knows you so  this means you  don't  actually  have to  tell anyone  whats really going on inside. ok so here's  where  we tie "how are you" into  "running away"
  The past  2 years  I  have  been struggling  figuring out  where  I  best  fit, people tell you  pray about it, and i have  but what  am I to do in the  meantime.  while waiting for this next  best thing I have slowly  hid myself away  on a shelf   hidden  from most people this is where  2 of me  comes in.
  You  may  not understand the  2 of me part. here let me  explain  for a moment.  there is the flesh  which is a cloud of  yukkyness and then there's the holy spirit which  everything good. the  other  day i was  reading Romans 8 and wham  bam thank you mam hit  me hard. like mental slap in the face. ouch!!  here's  how we  relate  "how are you" to this.  when you are living in the flesh. you do things that aren't good trust me it's not fun. check out  what the bible  says.......

 Life Through the Spirit

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh,[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.[c] And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. 10 But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life[d] because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of[e] his Spirit who lives in you.
12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to son ship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs —heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
  so next time  someone  asks  you  how you are.know you  don't  have to say  your good. being  real is a sure  way  to  admit  that  life is not perfect...

so how are you doing? i mean how are you  really doing today?

elz

Here in the silence

  Here in the  silence  in the  quickening  air. will the  rain fall and fill the  dry places in my life or will  i live in the  desert place  as God is at work though I  cannot always  feel or  see him I know hes the  sunshine in the  darkness. He's the  rainbow in the  rain.He's the  joy in the  sorrow. he's  the  hope to the  hopeless.
  As  i write  today i  think  that there  is different  kinds of writers the ones  who scream  out there  words and you  hear them loud and  clear then there's  the ones you  can hear the  joy through there words. and you are  instantly strengthened and encouraged.
  Today my  words  are those of a silent person ready for  some  serious  heart  connection i am neither here nor there. 
   Over the past few  months i have  felt extremely  dry  almost cold and numb at times. only  few  bring out the  life in me.  others  well  i like to call them  "kill joy's"  in elz terms  "kill joy's" are the  people in your  life who smother  your  dreams, your joy, your  zeal for life.I have them in my  life i mean i am trying so hard to ignore  them lol, they  are like leache's  they suck the life out of you.  so much so that you are  left  angry  dried up and speechless. they are  the ones you  try to reason with  but  make everything negative and blah.
   they say who you spend the most time with is  who'll you'll become like! who are you surrounding yourself around? it also says in the bible bad company corrupts good character. there are  leaches in all our lives all our circles.  truth is we have all had our share. did you  know the  best way to  get  leaches off you  is  dump salt on them. 
matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.


elz

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

(beaver) "Dam It"

Dear Reader's
  How  many of you   say  you are  god  today? but inside you  are  broken, you're  barely making it through the  days,  but you  remain  strong,  you  do this  day in day out and  tell  everyone  even yourself you  are amazing..  let  me  call your  bluff today.
   Last night i had this  dream  that  i was at my parents church,  i walked in and i was  not myself i was sad and  quiet  like there was a heaviness on me.  then out of the blue  there was a lady  who  touched me. I simply  said  please don't  touch me,  but  she  said  something all of  a sudden i got extremely angry.  i ran out of the service in tears.  as i  went outside my mom  said  Elsbeth  darling  are  you  OK  then I completely broke down, No  mom  I am not OK,  i haven't been  for a while. i fell in her arms and  just  cried.  Dad  stood by  and  told me that he  loved me and that he was proud of me i cried even more then i did  with mo thinking if they only knew  what  i have done they  wouldn't  be  proud of me.  then i  woke up  early in the morning  with tears  streaming down my face.
   Do you  pretend as well?  are you  like me?you  have some  serious dam walls up, and sometimes it causes more damage trying to  protect yourself from being hurt again,
 This  morning  I  got a water  bottle ready  to take to work with me. i  put it in the  bag  i thought  the  lid was  tight but NO it  leaked water all  over everything in that bag,  my  phone included.  when i got to work i  put this water bottle in the  freezer part of the fridge and  guess what it  did  it again. inside my bag i had  one of those jose Louis things its  wrapped in a clear package  so you  can see  the  contents  but  when the  water  leaked on it it  caused  the  top layer to  be stuck to the  clear plastic wrap. inside was crumbs and  this  chocolaty  goodness  once solid now  its broken   and all  scattered. all cause  water leaked on the plastic.  this is what  inspired this blog the  blasted water bottle spill.
  truth  is  you  don't  have to have everything all together it's  OK to be broken, its OK to have sad and bad days,but   when we  try  to cover  up how we feel  whats  really real with us  this  is a normal thing i realise this but here's  the  thing  when we act  so strong all the  time  we become  callous  of heart we act lie we don't need anyone  to help us we can do everything on our own, that's   a lie we  need help.  much like the jose Louis when it started out  hard and solid all it  took was a little  moisture   and it  crumbled to pieces. eventually you are going to have to trust someone, eventually you are going to have to let someone in eventually  you are  going to have to let someone love you.
  So let's  go,  let's break the  dam wall. and  stop  hiding  behind our  defence  mechanisms  of  fear and what if they   do  this what if they  say this... you  may be  good  at fooling others  but at the end of the  day you can't  fool yourself. here's the  thing i  totally  where my heart on my sleeve.  but there is things that I  don't even  want  people to know about me  it's  cause i have closed off  people. people Will only get so close to me and  then i  freeze up and  freak out inside  cause  they have  gotten to  close to the  person that  i have hidden from everyone.   it's  like i am in this  dark room and the light is trying to  creep in   yet  i keep shutting the  blinds. and sometimes it only takes one person to open the  blinds,   so that  you can see  light  again, i know  it's  going to hurt, i know it's not going to happen  if you snap your fingers. this  thing  called fear can only  be  broken when you accept  how much God truly  loves you. yes you are  loved. god loves you he  loves every detail of your life. trust him he  wont abandon  you nor  just  say he loves you  then  walk away on you.  when God  tells he loves you he's  saying i love every  part of you inside and out. 
      Dear God, I pray for everyone  who is reading this  i  pray that you  would  soften there  hearts that you  would go deep inside and break down every  wall  every  heavy  chain  and  breathe life into  us again.  Thank you that you love us even when we  don't  deserve it.
 speak to the  depths of our wandering hearts ad please place your hedge of protection upon our thoughts our  words our hearts. keep us  safe wrapped in your  arms of love.
    you  are never  alone... for i know the plans i have for you  declares the Lord plans not to harm you  plans to prosper you to give you a  hope and a future 
                     ~Jeremiah 29:11

Elz

Monday, 9 July 2012

confusion

Reader,

What   is  confusion?  I  believe   confusion comes  when you are not at peace with God you aren't  trusting God. i know  cause  I have this  big ugly cloud that  follows me  filled with  everything that  I am not.  lets  take a look into confusion,  maybe you can think of a time  when you  felt confused in a situation,  in a  circumstance.  How did  you get into a place of confusion?  when did find  yourself overcoming your confusion?
   We  all have  an  area in our  lives!!!   Right  now I struggle  knowing  where  am i going  where  do i best  fit? when will life  turn around for me? maybe this is  for you  and maybe it's  not.  maybe  you  are going through something that  causes alot of  tension,  causes  alot of  inner turmoil. you  know  that you  are  living  2 ways  you  act the way everyone  wants  when you are  around your friends, but  when  it's  just  you  and you're by yourself who are you really?  i know I have made  many  mistakes. i  know what's  right  yet i do the opposite  sometimes and then i have this huge  fight  within myself.  i knock  myself down  cause i  don't trust God I don't always  listen to his words  of life.  my question is this! why  do we let the  enemies  word  bring us down,  destroy us? when we  have a God that speaks  truth over our lives. its  so much easier  to hear  the  lies is  it not? i know that i am not alone in this. what  part of your life  confuses  you?  now  i realise this blog  may  or may not be for everyone.
   God is not the  author of confusion he is the author and  finisher of life. I  would  like to end this blog in the  bible with a couple  scriptures.
http://www.biblegateway.com/ check out  Proverbs 9:1-6 & 1 Corinthians 14:33

   there  is a  song we  just  started  singing at church....  All  consuming  sacrifice  so freely  given  such a price bought  our  redemption  heaven's  gates  fling  wide. there  is power   in the  name of Jesus  there  is  power  in the  name of Jesus  to break  every  chain break  every  chain break  every  chain. 
  where  are you going?   what are you  running from? what are you  afraid of?  who  is  holding you in this confusion?   
       Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. john 14:27

elz

Saturday, 7 July 2012

move it or lose it!

Reader,
  Be  prepared  for what  i might  download is a heavy  one  today. you  know when you are  driving on the  road  you  have to get  somewhere  and that's when you are  stuck  behind  slow  drivers the  summer tractor  drivers.  all you  want to  do is  get around them.  thinking  to  yourself move   get out of the way. I mean you  really  can't  stand this.  the  anger  button goes off and  next thing you  know you are  overtaking  finally  after  this what  seems like forever of waiting. you  pass and its like you  can breathe  again.  as you pass by them  its like  SO  long  sucker.  you  hearing me ha ha.
  OK  so life is  much like this  when something is  urgent,  you  know you  need to get to  this  destination  but...... something keeps you  held back. you  know those  detours  right...  what are some things that  keep us from going where you need  to be? lies, wrong thoughts, disappointments, strongholds,  fear, etc basically attacks from an unseen enemy. Readers  there  is a  enemy  crouching at your  door  trying to  do whatever  it takes to distract you  from  getting to your  destination.
   I know all to  well  what  distractions  look like,  over the  past few months I have  gone through  hard  things.  things that  not many even know about.  i have  gotten past the  worst of it but  still not out of this distraction daze. its a  cloud of yukkiness.  and it  haunts me  with  regrets, with  hurts and pains  i  do not wish upon anyone.  there  is times  you need to just  get out of the way and flee as fast and  as  far as you can. cause  danger is  around the corner.
   If you  aren't  careful and  wise in your decisions you will  be  stuck behind slow moving  traffic never making  a way.  i mean sometimes  you  have to have  wait it out  right  cause   do you  want to  just pass  a tractor  when someone is  coming at you  head on, not likely so even though it  sucks being  behind  sometimes you  have to to  deal with life's  crap.  oh  believe  me its  stinky  yukky  crap  but  if you are always  so rushed  you  don't  take time to  deal with the hard stuff. you  never  really  learn  from  life.

just   think about it!!!!


elz

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

closeness

Dear Reader,
    For the past 2 years there has been moment where I  thought  God has  abandoned me  i  thought where are you God  why aren't  you hear? why  are you so far from me? I got  so caught up in myself and made choices  unpleasing to God.  most people see the  side that i  show but  I am  going to be very real with you.  over  this past year and a half or 2 so many  things have changed in my life. especially lately I have felt so far from God i  didn't think i  could deserve to be loved  by God,  how  could he love this girl.  this me that is so up  so down,  so in the  in between? oh how i  wish i  could sit here and say i have my ducks  all  lined up in a row  but that would be  a lie! I  am a planner one that  knows  what  she  wants and if you  dare mess that  up  watch out.  my  life has been out of  sorts, my worship  so pretentious, my heart  broken  to the  core.  I have been  so lost  for  a while now its  why i struggle with the  very people who know me  most.  who love me the  most.  i  freeze up and and  it's like i  shut down and feel so far  from  everyone  from God  from  people. I keep trying to   change my life  fix myself but  it makes  everything  worse. anyone  else  do this? I  haven't known  a closeness  with  anyone in a long time......

   "Here  I am! I've been  so lost,  but God draws me to his light,  just when  I thought that  I wouldn't make  my way back  God saw me and  called me in"
 He called  me out  by name.  he  loves me  he knows me he  wants me. He  needs me oh how  I  love him so...
    this  message i planned to be more graceful  to be more loving and gentle... cause truth is when we come to a place in our lives where we  have to  depend on God that's when he can  do the most.  but  we have to need God.We have to TRUST God enough with  Everything. He wants to romance us, He  wants to bring us   deeper  in love with him,  but we silly  humans  we think closeness is just  about intimacy  with someone  being "close" is  being touched, being "Close" is being near someone or some place.  Do we even know what it's  like to truly be close with God.
 when we are really closest to God it's when we are  completely  broken, we are  abandoned to one self, we are completely  wrapped in Gods unfailing love and we fall  flat on our face or knees (whatever  sounds less painful) :) when God  shows up even  if we don't  deserve him. point is even though we  don't  see  God He is always  there. even when we don't   feel him he's  there.
  here's  the  one thing  to watch out for...  when we  let the enemy  tell us  we are unwanted and all his lies,  you  know what I'm talking about  cause we all have those  stupid lies get to us.  don't  let those  lies  bring you down, God's  as  real as the wind is you can't  see  the wind  but you  know it's  there.. God is here. He loves you.


elz

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

another satisfaction returned

Dear Reader,
    It is another day  another  moment  another  time. here  i am sitting at work  thinking about life.thinking when was the last time I was satisfied serving in an area? anyone else  kind  of in this  season too?  it's  like  your  full of  something that  wants to be  flourished  but where  your  at its  not time to  use  what you're  given. we  just have to wait  just a little longer, hold  out  just a little longer  for  this  dynamite.  I don't even really know if this makes sense ha ha. I find myself waiting for  what seems forever.  there is all these  thoughts running  non  stop through  my mind.  if you  just  change this area in your  life you'll  be  better  if  you  act a certain way  people  will see your full  potential. I know how  selfish this sounds but i know that i am not alone in these  thoughts. or  am I?
  I am so close to breakthrough yet seems  so  far. all i can think in my mind  is elz take the limitations off.  stop  focusing on yourself  and  place your trust  in Christ, let God take lead in ALL  areas of your life.  he  created you  he  has a better knowledge  of  how he wants your (our )lives  to look  like.  see  i know this  but  why  is  it such a struggle to take that  knowledge  and apply it.  are  you  out there and like me when you  know something  but  you  don't follow through cause  it means you actually have to get up and do something.
 think of  our life like a race. how  do  we expect to get to the finish  line  if  we don't  start the race? sure you'll hit bumps in the  road  but  when you  jump over the  hurtles  of life you  know its  God that  carries you through.  he  gives you  just the right amount  of strength,  just the right amount of  energy. will you  join the  race today  or will you  continue to hold back and let others keep passing you by?


Elz

Monday, 18 June 2012

WAKE UP oh SLEEPER'S

Dear You,
       yeah you, the  one who  is drifting from place to place.  barely existing barely  making  a dent.  always  trying to keep in the  back ground cause you  are  to afraid  to be found.  to afraid  to be  seen for who you really are.  WAKE UP. the time to rise and shine is near,  GET UP YOU SLEEPER. Get up and  here  the  truth. you  have been  running for so long now that  you have long lost yourself. you  have become the person you can't stand.  the person that dwells  in hiding. its like a turtle hiding in its shell to afraid of danger to afraid to open up and trust for a  better  day.  Get up  don't  listen to the lies anymore. they are slowly  causing you to sleep.  Get up and be all that you  can be. WAKE  UP today is a new  day. this is the day that  the Lord has  made WE WILL rejoice  and be glad in it.
      I know you  are  tired  and weary, I know  that you are  exhausted from life.  some of you  sleep to forget the pain of yesterday's.  and some  of you everyday is Monday. it's a  drag to get up and get ready. For others you sleep living in your comfort bubble. I  know  you  might be thinking how  dare you  speak so blunt.  cause i am and have been  sleeping in for along time now.
     In the natural I  have  never been a morning girl. if you ask me  a million and a half  questions when i first  wake up  you  will most likely  get  female hulk. lately  i have been so tired i have been wanting to  just sleep but  i  get  so busy  with life  that  i fall into the weary  sleeper category. i think we all get into slumps. we  don't  even realise we are sleeping in the  spirit.
     when  was the last time you heard God speak to you? did  you listen (wake up) or discard what God spoke and go back to SLEEP. God  keeps  speaking  this  specific thing to me and I know that i have to be obedient  but  it'll mean hurting  someone so I have been falling back to SLEEP when God  is asking be to be obedient (wake up). 
       What's causing you to feel tired? what's causing you to  go back to sleep when God is calling you to wake up and overcome those  places you have been sleeping in? 

elz

Monday, 11 June 2012

it aint broke dont fix it "Fixer's"

Dear Reader

     Its been a long  time since i have written here. its not that i havent had anything to say  its i havent kown where  to start.  you  know when you are going through  things  you dont always  want to  talk  sometimes you  just  want to hide and distance yourself in your  own little  way. while your  friends the  "fixers"  are trying to solve your  problems for you. i know i am a fixer  funny thing is "fixers" sometimes are  the  very ones i stay  clear of.  you  know what i mean right? we all have "fixers" in our  life  ones who want nothing but the  best for us  no matter what.They  often say things to help you  but  sometimes you feel more  angry and hurt  after listening to them. trust me non fixers. us "fixers" are always  trying  to prevent you  from  doing the  crazy things we have  done. we  are only  trying to help you.   not  hurt you, not make matters worse. we  love so much us "fixers" tend to be  in your face. the  ones to push  you  when you  really dont want to be  pushed. we come  across  stand offish all for the sake of looking out  for others.  i  think as "fixers" we just  want to  see everything come together. i know myself i can't  stand something being out of place and out of order. im always  trying to make myself better  less  flawed. truth is  it makes  things  worse sometimes.
  I know   us  "fixers" tend  to act like  we have an answer  for  EVERYTHING  but   we dont. truth is  we  learn  alot by  books  revelations (and  by revelations i dont mean  the  book of  revelations ha ha) we  know what is real to us  and  we  forget that  not  everyone is us.  not everyone learns like us.
  So to  every  non  fixer i m  sorry  for  any  hurt that we have  caused  you,  thats  never  ever  our intension we just like to see everyone at there utmost  best.  we are the  way we are not to make you  be  someone  else  but because  we care enough  to say something.

from the  perspective of a fixer


elz

Sunday, 15 April 2012

flip the coin

Dear  Reader

so i was at church today and i  had this thought about  heads and tails. lets use  pennies as our illustration shall we.
    OK  so  tales makes  me think of  shame  hidden identity. fear of failure being forgotten. all the  junk in the  trunk.  then  you  flip and you see  another side  of things.  there is a head  or face. so imagine if you will. we  find  pennies on the ground all the  time they are muddy and  dirty. its hard to find the face. we often  see  pennies as  inconvenient.  we find them  annoying   most people have a  little jar for pennies.  so what happens is this we keep adding more pennies  most of them  sticky and muddy.  people  stop caring about these  pennies. they  throw them away before  you see the full worth.
 so imagine if you will if we were to shine and  wash  these pennies we would be drawn to them  right. OK so people are like  the dirty pennies covered in sin then when we give our lives our  hearts to Jesus we  become clean. we are all ugly  in sin.  but its through Christ that we have an identity. we don't have to  be covered in guilt  covered in shame  covered in failure etc you get the point fill in the blanks  what  are your  hidden  sins what is it that you wear instead of Gods  infinite love. you  see when we  let God truly work on us we  become new and slowly that scum becomes pure. but it is a choice. maybe you know God and maybe you don't.  maybe you are covered from head to toe in junk. hurts pains  and insecurities. today  tonight this morning where ever you are. take some time to examine your heart. what do you  need to take to the  cross to become pure  again to become the most beautiful face. you  don't have to run you don't have to hide. just come to God let him bring you back to  life let him  in let him heal everything. cause he is more then able in fact he wants to be the one you run to when you are  hurt  when you are  lost.  just think about how much god  loves you. you are  worth it you are  most  beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you. come to the cross and lay your burdens down.its  never too late to come  before  God


elz

Thursday, 12 April 2012

so close yet so far away

Dear Readers

so  right now i have a boyfriend and not everyone  agrees  with the whole  internet thing. but  heres  what god  is teaching me through tears and joy.
  so  i  seriously  screwed up big time.  i did the worst thing you can  do in a relationship.... ready for it  i  brought up all my  past  hurts and relationships. you see as  girls we think of this  as  an  escape of feelings how  could this hurt our man. oh it hurts  him  deeply. it makes  the  men in our lives  fel like poop.  makes them  feel like they  arent good enough. now if you have never  had  a  realtionship thats one less  thing you shall have to  worry  about.
  Alfred hasnt talked to me since monday night. i have  done  everything in my power to fight for him. to  keep him. but today  through tears  and talking to my friend  rondel and grandma esther  God  spoke to my  heart so  closely. he  showed me that the way i feel when  alfred doesnt talk to me is the same way he feels when i dont  take time with him.  when i dont  read the  bible, when i dont  pray, when i dont  trust in god. ouch  right. god chooses to love me  despite all the stupid things i say. all he bad choices i make. he has  a  huge plan  for me and i have been  too blind to see it.
  but  i know this i love God i love alfred. and i want nothing but the  very best for him. now i have to wait  for alfred to fight for me  to lead me the  way a man ought to lead in christ. I know  i have hurt  him and for that i am  beyond  sorry. let  this  be a lesson  learned to all of us  who  live in our  past.  seriously do you  want past  to ruin your future. no thank you.

Friday, 23 March 2012

no more lies

no more lies. yeah right! are  you thinking what I'm thinking?  maybe yes  maybe no? here is a topic  that  everyone  deals with or has  dealt with. no more lies!i  wont pretend  to  say  i have all the answers cause i  don't.
    here's  what lies  i  listen to  and I'm sure  alot of us  identify but feel free  to jump in and admit what lies you are listening to....... I'm not  pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, ill  always  stay the same and do nothing with my life, i am a failure.I'm not skinny  enough. etc you can take a  few minutes to think about what  lies you are listening to and how we can overcome this.
  so check this out if you dare.... are  you  ready for simple truth. or maybe you are  still listening to the lies that hold you captive and  you are too ashamed too afraid to here the truth.

1. look into a mirror and say  tada I'm beautiful
2.read  the bible there is  tons of stuff that can relate your lies
3.being you are in your  bible reading take some time and think about the  last  lie you listened to. now how through Gods truth can you speak  to the lies?how are you going to respond instead of react?

  now i also  want to be realistic  everyone handles things differently.so how you change  and how much you change is up to you. no words i  write will change you. so today this can be your  day  to gain personal victory over the lies that  you have been believing.this can be  your  moment of  personal  victory. you  can  do all things through Christ who  gives you strength. maybe you  are like me you  need  to hear  for yourself  a story  of  someone  over  came the  voices lying to there  head. I'd like to give you a story  something to relate to. but truth  is  i have yet  to fully overcome the lies in my mind.  all i know is  God is the only one  that can really  fully  transform our  minds. if we'll let him. so  come with me today and lets  trust god  can  do all things and he  can  transform out  minds to be  be  more like him. 


elz

Wednesday, 21 March 2012

seasons of change

Dear Reader

  get ready get  set gooooooo. here we are it feels alot like spring for winter and summer like weather for our spring  start off. talk about changes. changes are happening constantly all  around  us. there is a time and a place for everything. 
  change is constant.without change there is  no room for growth. a friend  told me earlier today that if you think about something you can determine  the  out come. so maybe like me you are one that over thinks things. what kind of change are you dealing with right now. maybe  like me you  hate change.  yet you  need  change in your life. or you face change and you thrive  for change id like  to say  you are  on your  own but your everyone has there own way of  adapting to changes.
  so  at  the  beginning i talked about different seasons. what  season are you in. do you  even know. i can tell you  this  no matter what you face in life  God will always  have your back even  when you cant see him hes there waiting for you to ask.when you come. begin to expect  big things  to happen in your life.  don't give up embrace  change.

elz  

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Blessings

Dear Reader,
 So i was at church on Sunday and all of a sudden i was thinking about something. so  for  example say God  asked you to Go up to someone and  bless them  with  $100 would you  fight with God  and make up all these excuses? what you are  really doing is being disobedient.  so  lets  say  again  god says  to you  give this person $ 100 again is  not your initial  response but God..  i can use that for something else. instead  we should  be stepping out in faith and  saying OK God if you can move  mountains  how  much more can you provide for me. i know all  this sounds  crazy  right but  i know we all have this at least once in our lives had this little fight going  off in our head. 
 so imagine  this if you  will if every time you  say no what you are doing is  holding back a blessing for the other person and your self.  when you trust god enough you  won't  have this battle  going on in your head. Are you  going through really tight finances right now? are you  feeling like  God  why  is everyone but me  being blessed?
    here is a little story  of  how  God  blesses those who are obedient.   this  week  Rachel and i  Had just  finished paying rent. so  we had no money for  gas in the car and really  didn't know how all that was going to work out.  then  Sunday  night mom and dad phoned  they asked  if they could come over  last night to  our apartment.  i was like  sure come on over.  so  mom  cooked  dinner. our fridge was  on  empty lol  and we were going to  have an involuntary  fast ha ha.  but  mom and dad  came over and filled our fridge and brought  over stuff as well as blessed  us  so we can put gas in Rachel car. I  didn't know how we  were going to get through this week but i knew in my heart that god would provide all our needs and then some.  maybe you  can relate to this. there is weeks and  you  really don't  know  how you  will make it through. its like you are hanging on by a thread.  i believe God allows these  things to happen so that we can learn to  depend and trust in him.  if  we always have everything at hand how do we learn to  trust?
 may  God  truly  bless  all of you and provide everything that  you  need  today. may you be obedient and  trust God  he knows what he's  doing. Remember God is able to do all things whatever your need.


elz

Thursday, 1 March 2012

the same God

for quite some time now i have been struggling with my walk with God  thinking why  would  god  still  care look what I have done.  this is a mindset  that many of us share when we have done things  that we know are wrong.  we pray  for redemption, we ask for  forgiveness, yet we struggle to believe our words. the words is this song  are powerful. the same God that was with you then  is  with you now. the  same God who led you in will lead you out.
What is  holding us back as Christians from really trusting God. I mean our words hold  the power of life and death. but  why is it so hard to  really  let  God in. i have shut him out in areas of my life  where  i needed to open up.  I shut him out in relationships. and was left  hurt and broken  cause i didn't  ask God. I know  we all have  things in our back closet.  some  is  really hard to deal  with.  we need to know that we are not alone.through Christ we can do all things. maybe you  seek reconciliation, or  forgiveness, maybe you  have been  on a path of failure and you try to  get up but the  attacks of the  enemy hit  harder every time and you stand in defeat wanting God to rescue you . but  we forget to ASK we forget to SEEK we forget to KNOCK.
so matter what you face in life don't give up don't lose hop  God has a plan  sometimes it requires us to wait a little bit longer and be  patient a little bit longer. if things  happened  exactly when you  want them to.  we  wouldn't learn to depend on God. we wouldn't  trust in him.

Elz