Dear Reader's
So you must wonder what does a fall back personality mean? until the last month I did not understand this. what it is, is a place you go back to to feel safe to shut other's out. over the past year i have been living this fall back lifestyle. oh believe me when i say I didn't even know i was in this place.
my friend gave me this killer analogy as well its like you are on a merry go round. when you start off it is going just the right passe but as others want to join you it incidentally starts to speed up until you begin to spin out of control. now where are you left you are a mess and nothing has changed accept that you are trying to get back to this place where you are comfortable. I like to call this place the "comfort zone" in this comfort zone you only do what makes you comfortable then along comes "change" and you have 1 of 2 choices you A) welcome in change or B) you reject the idea that change is not your enemy. change could actually be a good thing. change happens whether we like it or not. when " comfort zone" goes up against "change" it becomes iron sharpens iron you can't get out of this place you are in until you let change happen. now "change" is not fun always. that's a fact.
So where does this things called "fall back personality"or F.B.P come from? now I could be wrong cause i am not a Doctor. but here is my take on the F.B.P when you are fighting change you fall back into this "comfort zone" in fact you go back into old ways and habits. now at first you may not even be aware of this. you slowly begin to change. and it's not the good change either. once you allow the enemy foothold upon your life it is hard to trust that God has already won our battles for us.It becomes hard to believe that there where there is a will there is also a way.
I just want to take a minute to pray over you my readers. Dear God i pray that you will bring us closer to you. that you would let your will be done in our lives today. Jesus that you would reveal truth to us where we are at whether we struggle with the F.B.P. or not. Jesus that we may trust in you alone today no matter what we face. may you bless us in every area of our lives and bring peace. thank you for what you are doing in our lives. we love you. in Jesus name amen.
elz
Thursday, 24 November 2011
Saturday, 19 November 2011
bully
Dear Reader,
when is it ever ok to pick on anyone? for many years now there has been issues. today i was thinking about the bullies of heart. you may not outwardly always be a bully. but how many of us think bad thoughts bout each other? how many of us have felt like punching someone out. I think we all have one time or another. ok where am i going with this you may ask?
when I was in public school i was bullied verbally, physically. when i was in grade 3 there was a young boy in grade 1 he had taken my scarf and started to strangle me. my little sister saw this in the background. she was this little thing and my attacker was a bigger guy. she took him out.layed him out on the ground and started to pound the heck out of this guy. you know don't mess with my family mentality. I was also told many hard things. i began to feel so inferior. like i could never measure up to anything i mean those things had been spoken over my life since public school.
Here's the thing when you are at the bottom you don't have anywhere to go but up. i had to fight my way through. and let me say that has never been easy to me. you feel like a turtle stuck in it's shell. you become comfortable inside of this shell. you become what people say over your life though you always have the choice to choose.
at this point in life i have seen that even at times i have been a verbal bully. you know when someone is annoying you and you lack the grace. you lack the patience. in a moment of emotion and on a feelings base you say things to the ones you love that hurt and once you have spoken you can't take back those very words. words that cause a deep wounding in there very being. have you spoken unkindly to someone to or behind there back before. i hate to admit but i have. honestly this thing about bullies is getting worse out there for the children and youth, bullies just want to feel good about themselves so they put down anyone who appears inferior. maybe you are the victim of being the bullied or maybe you are the bully. either way may this message wring true to your hearts today. I get it ! life is a huge process. god loves us to much to leave us the same. we can fight this inadequacy these insecurities that keep us captive. we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
so what's it going to be dear reader? are you going to be the bully or are you going to choose to overcome today where you are standing. or are going to stay the same with the whoa is me victims mindset. i am sorry for speaking so harsh. i know this is a hard place to overcome. but together with God and a person you trust you can beat this inadequacy of the heart. you got this. i believe in you.
elz
when is it ever ok to pick on anyone? for many years now there has been issues. today i was thinking about the bullies of heart. you may not outwardly always be a bully. but how many of us think bad thoughts bout each other? how many of us have felt like punching someone out. I think we all have one time or another. ok where am i going with this you may ask?
when I was in public school i was bullied verbally, physically. when i was in grade 3 there was a young boy in grade 1 he had taken my scarf and started to strangle me. my little sister saw this in the background. she was this little thing and my attacker was a bigger guy. she took him out.layed him out on the ground and started to pound the heck out of this guy. you know don't mess with my family mentality. I was also told many hard things. i began to feel so inferior. like i could never measure up to anything i mean those things had been spoken over my life since public school.
Here's the thing when you are at the bottom you don't have anywhere to go but up. i had to fight my way through. and let me say that has never been easy to me. you feel like a turtle stuck in it's shell. you become comfortable inside of this shell. you become what people say over your life though you always have the choice to choose.
at this point in life i have seen that even at times i have been a verbal bully. you know when someone is annoying you and you lack the grace. you lack the patience. in a moment of emotion and on a feelings base you say things to the ones you love that hurt and once you have spoken you can't take back those very words. words that cause a deep wounding in there very being. have you spoken unkindly to someone to or behind there back before. i hate to admit but i have. honestly this thing about bullies is getting worse out there for the children and youth, bullies just want to feel good about themselves so they put down anyone who appears inferior. maybe you are the victim of being the bullied or maybe you are the bully. either way may this message wring true to your hearts today. I get it ! life is a huge process. god loves us to much to leave us the same. we can fight this inadequacy these insecurities that keep us captive. we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
so what's it going to be dear reader? are you going to be the bully or are you going to choose to overcome today where you are standing. or are going to stay the same with the whoa is me victims mindset. i am sorry for speaking so harsh. i know this is a hard place to overcome. but together with God and a person you trust you can beat this inadequacy of the heart. you got this. i believe in you.
elz
strangers in high places
Dear Reader's
here I am speaking again from a new perspective. it was just early this morning my sister said something and it struck me. she was talking about her now closest guy friend. at first when she met him. she automatically assumed he was going to be just like every other student worker. so she was kind of rude to him. yet here this young man was new and she at first had to force herself to speak kind words. now they are pretty much best friends. and when she speaks his name her face lights up like a candle just lit.
so my question to you reader's how many times have you passed a stranger by? I mean I bet some of your thoughts were things like oh i wish I had time for that person today. or you are like most you are to busy to say hello .I also realize with today's culture it comes down to this thing called trust. i mean most of us find it strange for some stranger to be friendly to us. we don't know them from a hole in the ground after all!other times we just give a quick hello goodbye as we politely walk past them cause we can't stand those slower walkers. (come on now are you not thinking that with me?) ha ha alright!!
I guess what I'm just saying is if we call ourselves Christians then why do we let ourselves miss out daily on opportunities to witness to these strangers in high places.so Don't be a stranger. rise above and become the best you that you can be.
elz
here I am speaking again from a new perspective. it was just early this morning my sister said something and it struck me. she was talking about her now closest guy friend. at first when she met him. she automatically assumed he was going to be just like every other student worker. so she was kind of rude to him. yet here this young man was new and she at first had to force herself to speak kind words. now they are pretty much best friends. and when she speaks his name her face lights up like a candle just lit.
so my question to you reader's how many times have you passed a stranger by? I mean I bet some of your thoughts were things like oh i wish I had time for that person today. or you are like most you are to busy to say hello .I also realize with today's culture it comes down to this thing called trust. i mean most of us find it strange for some stranger to be friendly to us. we don't know them from a hole in the ground after all!other times we just give a quick hello goodbye as we politely walk past them cause we can't stand those slower walkers. (come on now are you not thinking that with me?) ha ha alright!!
I guess what I'm just saying is if we call ourselves Christians then why do we let ourselves miss out daily on opportunities to witness to these strangers in high places.so Don't be a stranger. rise above and become the best you that you can be.
elz
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
the power behind Blessing
Dear reader,
so this is a new discovery for me so bare with me if you will.
as you may or may not know last week started off crappy and blah!! then my friend sent me a letter everyday except Wednesday!!! at the end of each letter he wrote "may God bless you"now you might be like me and take blessings for granted. say amen if you are with me lol!!! seriously do I get an amen!!!! as i started to believe in Gods blessings. I was blessed through conversations with other fellow believers. you know when you are in "blah mode" there words become the biggest blessing of all. there words become the strength the hope and the words needed to get you through the day.
I never before realized the power in "may God bless you" how important those very words are. i mean fact we pray blessings upon our food, country, pastors, leaders, well you get the point. how often do you speak those words and you don't think of the power behind them. I am guilty of that. did you know that when you believe those words you are trusting God to truly "bless you" so what kind of blessings are having believing for today? maybe you have the flu. then believe God will bless you with fully restored health. maybe you struggle with finances. then believe God for the provision, maybe you are trusting God to bless you in other areas then believe that he can do all things, believe that god is able. he is God there is nothing that he cannot do for those who believe. make your requests known to him whatever the matter big or small. let's have faith to move the mountains tonight/today. Our God is more then able to bless us big or small. so start believing in Gods promises over our lives. if you can speak then you can proclaim Gods blessings over your life, your circumstances. come on do I get an amen. lol
Reader this may be hard to trust in God enough to bless you. there is no limits with God. young woman there is a struggle in your life. believe that god can bless you. that there might be days of conflict but as you begin to proclaim that God is going to bless your enemies. you will begin to see the touch of God upon your life like never before. young man take courage. have faith that God is going to provide. i know where you are at seems impossible but as you believe that God can and will bless you.l a faith so deep so strong will begin to grow within you. young mom's have faith there is a new day coming there is a hope for you. God loves you so purposefully. will you rise today and receive God's blessings upon you in every area of your life. get up and don't reside to giving up anymore. your life matter's you are of great value.
May God downpour his blessings upon you where ever you are. may his peace be all over your life in every circumstance.
elz
Thursday, 10 November 2011
reach out beyond yourself
Readers,
so today as i am here. my heart goes out to christians all over young and old. this blog is for christians who feel ignored, who feel as if they don't matter, you know who you are.
we are out there all over. recently i was talking with a youth. she simply told me that at tribe i am the only one that reaches out to her. what an honor? you see even i am guilty of this looking past christians. yet they are sometimes the ones in greatest need.
I am in the wilderness season and though it's not great and exciting God is showing me not only things about my life but other's to. so my question is why do we look past the ones that need us the most?
here is my little intake on this. many times in my life i have been longing for just a person to take the time to reach out and rescue me. but most times i was let down so i started to shut people out. i mean i can open the surface of me up but don't ask me to open the depths of me up cause that is like opening a lock that won't open.i try i really do but thats not easy. anyways about a month ago i was at a really low point in my life and i tryed to ask for help from a leader and they dismissed me like you are a christian why do i need to help you kind of mentality. so for over a month i didn't go to crossroads i ran away in my own little attitude and world. i know that i am not alone in this. there are people in our churches as we speak that are needing hope. i mean it's easy to put on a fake smile and wear a mask. you do that long enough you begin to forget who you really are. so who are you today? where do you fit in this scene? it's easier to bury yourself rather than reveal yourself. it's scary to really let anyone in. trust me i know.
honestly though there are many stories i could tell you of young girls or guys that have fallen because no one took the time to reach out. now this is not always the case however.sometimes people just want the attention so they go off the grid. and many of us wan to see nothing but the good in people that we miss the signs of struggle.that we are to focused in our little cliques to notice. ( to really touch your heart you should watch the movie "to save a life" that movie will touch you in a whole new way!!!
anyway the purpose of me writing to you today is to open your eyes where they me blind to open up your heart in new ways. there is a falling society out there that needs us. so what's it going to be. you going to stand up and reach out or are you the one who is breaking inside and you are in need of someone to help you. i urge you not to run away like i did. find a leader find someone that will listen to you before it is too late.
young person you know who you are! God loves you flawless. you are worth it! you are valuable and i am truly glad that God designed you. he purposefully made you. and I am so glad that you are here. may god continue his great work in your life. may you hold on to hope today. may you find joy in each situation. may God give you a friend that will stick closer then a brother.
much love always ...........
elz
so today as i am here. my heart goes out to christians all over young and old. this blog is for christians who feel ignored, who feel as if they don't matter, you know who you are.
we are out there all over. recently i was talking with a youth. she simply told me that at tribe i am the only one that reaches out to her. what an honor? you see even i am guilty of this looking past christians. yet they are sometimes the ones in greatest need.
I am in the wilderness season and though it's not great and exciting God is showing me not only things about my life but other's to. so my question is why do we look past the ones that need us the most?
here is my little intake on this. many times in my life i have been longing for just a person to take the time to reach out and rescue me. but most times i was let down so i started to shut people out. i mean i can open the surface of me up but don't ask me to open the depths of me up cause that is like opening a lock that won't open.i try i really do but thats not easy. anyways about a month ago i was at a really low point in my life and i tryed to ask for help from a leader and they dismissed me like you are a christian why do i need to help you kind of mentality. so for over a month i didn't go to crossroads i ran away in my own little attitude and world. i know that i am not alone in this. there are people in our churches as we speak that are needing hope. i mean it's easy to put on a fake smile and wear a mask. you do that long enough you begin to forget who you really are. so who are you today? where do you fit in this scene? it's easier to bury yourself rather than reveal yourself. it's scary to really let anyone in. trust me i know.
honestly though there are many stories i could tell you of young girls or guys that have fallen because no one took the time to reach out. now this is not always the case however.sometimes people just want the attention so they go off the grid. and many of us wan to see nothing but the good in people that we miss the signs of struggle.that we are to focused in our little cliques to notice. ( to really touch your heart you should watch the movie "to save a life" that movie will touch you in a whole new way!!!
anyway the purpose of me writing to you today is to open your eyes where they me blind to open up your heart in new ways. there is a falling society out there that needs us. so what's it going to be. you going to stand up and reach out or are you the one who is breaking inside and you are in need of someone to help you. i urge you not to run away like i did. find a leader find someone that will listen to you before it is too late.
young person you know who you are! God loves you flawless. you are worth it! you are valuable and i am truly glad that God designed you. he purposefully made you. and I am so glad that you are here. may god continue his great work in your life. may you hold on to hope today. may you find joy in each situation. may God give you a friend that will stick closer then a brother.
much love always ...........
elz
if aint broken then why try to fix it
Dear Reader's
So you must be wondering where in the world i have been all week. the first part of the week i was kind of moping around frustrated and depressed. yeah i get that way!! OK so the real message is directed to Christians today!!
As Christians there is an expectation and people kind of just assume that you are somewhat perfect!!! yeah right sometimes as a christian we struggle the most. today i want to fill you in on a little secret! We are not Perfect. We are human. OK maybe you are thinking man how many times have i heard that typical thought? "We are only human." I am right there with you.
so earlier this week when i was in my little pity party mode. God used my friend on Monday morning as i awoke i got up and walked around when i looked at the front door i noticed there was a letter i figured maybe mom just dropped off mail for my sister and I. On the envelope was my name so i opened this letter with great excitement for i knew it was from my friend. (p.s I love letters so mysterious you never know what people are thinking.) the words were exactly what i needed to hear that day, how can people be in 2 places but the same words hit just has deep? anyways i carried on my day. then Tuesday the same thing another letter awaited me. but I didn't get it at all at first for when i just wake up my eyes are a bit blurry. anyways i carried on my day and eventually i sat down and read this letter. my friend wrote about how many of us are having a hard time finding our place and we don't need people to try and fix us we just need that listening ear or maybe suggestion's can you relate to the fixing people mentality? on Tuesday night his parents came over and we had such an insightful talk. i got to hear a fathers heart towards his children. yesterday i worked with a whole new attitude. OK if that was not encouraging enough when i woke up again this morning another letter awaited me.
I am here at work and thinking about why do we try to fix people that don't always need to be fixed?does that not annoy you when you are having a moment of crisis and maybe you just need to talk it out and that's that you need the listener to offer fixing. when we are truly broken vessels we can turn to God and we can trust his ways are better then our thoughts and ways. I know easier said then done.
so this i conclude today..... If you are out there reading this with the fixing mentality. maybe you could try listening and then have little suggestions. Goodness knows we need listeners that actually listen. and maybe you are reading this and thinking how dare her say this well it's the truth not just some dusted fact that i pull from a bookcase. and it's what we need to hear me included.
may God bless you today. may he open our ears to hear again may our eyes be fixed on God. peace be over you no matter the circumstances you face today. may Gods perfect love draw you closer to who you are. may you know who you are today where ever you are reader. may this simple truth resonate in your heart of hearts today.
elz
So you must be wondering where in the world i have been all week. the first part of the week i was kind of moping around frustrated and depressed. yeah i get that way!! OK so the real message is directed to Christians today!!
As Christians there is an expectation and people kind of just assume that you are somewhat perfect!!! yeah right sometimes as a christian we struggle the most. today i want to fill you in on a little secret! We are not Perfect. We are human. OK maybe you are thinking man how many times have i heard that typical thought? "We are only human." I am right there with you.
so earlier this week when i was in my little pity party mode. God used my friend on Monday morning as i awoke i got up and walked around when i looked at the front door i noticed there was a letter i figured maybe mom just dropped off mail for my sister and I. On the envelope was my name so i opened this letter with great excitement for i knew it was from my friend. (p.s I love letters so mysterious you never know what people are thinking.) the words were exactly what i needed to hear that day, how can people be in 2 places but the same words hit just has deep? anyways i carried on my day. then Tuesday the same thing another letter awaited me. but I didn't get it at all at first for when i just wake up my eyes are a bit blurry. anyways i carried on my day and eventually i sat down and read this letter. my friend wrote about how many of us are having a hard time finding our place and we don't need people to try and fix us we just need that listening ear or maybe suggestion's can you relate to the fixing people mentality? on Tuesday night his parents came over and we had such an insightful talk. i got to hear a fathers heart towards his children. yesterday i worked with a whole new attitude. OK if that was not encouraging enough when i woke up again this morning another letter awaited me.
I am here at work and thinking about why do we try to fix people that don't always need to be fixed?does that not annoy you when you are having a moment of crisis and maybe you just need to talk it out and that's that you need the listener to offer fixing. when we are truly broken vessels we can turn to God and we can trust his ways are better then our thoughts and ways. I know easier said then done.
so this i conclude today..... If you are out there reading this with the fixing mentality. maybe you could try listening and then have little suggestions. Goodness knows we need listeners that actually listen. and maybe you are reading this and thinking how dare her say this well it's the truth not just some dusted fact that i pull from a bookcase. and it's what we need to hear me included.
may God bless you today. may he open our ears to hear again may our eyes be fixed on God. peace be over you no matter the circumstances you face today. may Gods perfect love draw you closer to who you are. may you know who you are today where ever you are reader. may this simple truth resonate in your heart of hearts today.
elz
Saturday, 5 November 2011
identity crisis
Dear Reader,
Last night i had a dream that i went to college and i couldn't find what i was looking for but for some reason people kept finding me and directing me all these places. it was as if you could tell i didn't belong kind of like you can tell a country folk from city folk. any ways it was like i was there but not there kind of the person looking inside of what could be. you know a reflection of who you really are. I am being pulled by 2 guys they bring me to a shop of some sort and i knew that was not who i was i mean me trying to fix cars ha ha ha yeah right!!! that is not who I am. (have you ever been placed somewhere that you can play the part but it's not your perfect fit.) once i left that place i started going up to people and asking them for direction until i was pointed in the right direction. any ways so as i was searching for the right fit. i saw myself in this class at the college and when i got up everywhere around me was ice. everybody turned to ice. there was only 2 people that didn't turn to ice me and the girl who made everything ice. as i touched people they turned back to normal again. then i found some friends. as i observed this one girl i noticed that her identity changed ever so rapidly one moment she was skinny beautiful then she changed within seconds she became this darker girl. i knew that i had to talk to her. my sister tried to talk but i told her no this is for me to do not her. (you know that we all have specific things that we need to do but sometimes we let other's do it for us how will we ever learn?) as i went up to this girl i could tell she was about to burst either into sobs or anger. i knew that i had to talk from the heart. I can't remember everything i said. i just know i started to tell her that I could see the real her and she didn't have to try to be something she isn't. as i spoke more words in love the real heart of this girl appeared. at the end of this conversation this real beautiful girl came out she wasn't like anyone ever expected. she was more timid and insecure this girl always hiding behind masks. her identity was lost. yet in that moment it was like the lost girl was found. the once lonely now thrived. the once proclaimed "dumb or not smart enough girl" came so smart in who she was.
You see for as long as you are trying to be someone else you can never truly be you.( it's like taking a baker and making them fix a car. see where i am going with this. sometimes we are so focused on fitting in that we do the opposite of what we are really skilled in. don't be 30% of what other's want be 100% of who you are. so what is your reflection showing you today? when you look at yourself who do you see. are you lonely, hurting, angry, disappointed, discouraged, lost, afraid etc
Do you know that all those things are fed by lies of the enemy. do you know how valuable you are today young man young woman, do you know that you are worth more then silver and gold? YEAH YOU! YOU ARE SO WORTH IT. YOU BELONG. YOU ARE PRECIOUS IN GOD'S SIGHT. YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH EACH PASSING BREATH.
Elz
Last night i had a dream that i went to college and i couldn't find what i was looking for but for some reason people kept finding me and directing me all these places. it was as if you could tell i didn't belong kind of like you can tell a country folk from city folk. any ways it was like i was there but not there kind of the person looking inside of what could be. you know a reflection of who you really are. I am being pulled by 2 guys they bring me to a shop of some sort and i knew that was not who i was i mean me trying to fix cars ha ha ha yeah right!!! that is not who I am. (have you ever been placed somewhere that you can play the part but it's not your perfect fit.) once i left that place i started going up to people and asking them for direction until i was pointed in the right direction. any ways so as i was searching for the right fit. i saw myself in this class at the college and when i got up everywhere around me was ice. everybody turned to ice. there was only 2 people that didn't turn to ice me and the girl who made everything ice. as i touched people they turned back to normal again. then i found some friends. as i observed this one girl i noticed that her identity changed ever so rapidly one moment she was skinny beautiful then she changed within seconds she became this darker girl. i knew that i had to talk to her. my sister tried to talk but i told her no this is for me to do not her. (you know that we all have specific things that we need to do but sometimes we let other's do it for us how will we ever learn?) as i went up to this girl i could tell she was about to burst either into sobs or anger. i knew that i had to talk from the heart. I can't remember everything i said. i just know i started to tell her that I could see the real her and she didn't have to try to be something she isn't. as i spoke more words in love the real heart of this girl appeared. at the end of this conversation this real beautiful girl came out she wasn't like anyone ever expected. she was more timid and insecure this girl always hiding behind masks. her identity was lost. yet in that moment it was like the lost girl was found. the once lonely now thrived. the once proclaimed "dumb or not smart enough girl" came so smart in who she was.
You see for as long as you are trying to be someone else you can never truly be you.( it's like taking a baker and making them fix a car. see where i am going with this. sometimes we are so focused on fitting in that we do the opposite of what we are really skilled in. don't be 30% of what other's want be 100% of who you are. so what is your reflection showing you today? when you look at yourself who do you see. are you lonely, hurting, angry, disappointed, discouraged, lost, afraid etc
Do you know that all those things are fed by lies of the enemy. do you know how valuable you are today young man young woman, do you know that you are worth more then silver and gold? YEAH YOU! YOU ARE SO WORTH IT. YOU BELONG. YOU ARE PRECIOUS IN GOD'S SIGHT. YOU ARE MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH EACH PASSING BREATH.
Elz
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