Dear Readers
so right now i have a boyfriend and not everyone agrees with the whole internet thing. but heres what god is teaching me through tears and joy.
so i seriously screwed up big time. i did the worst thing you can do in a relationship.... ready for it i brought up all my past hurts and relationships. you see as girls we think of this as an escape of feelings how could this hurt our man. oh it hurts him deeply. it makes the men in our lives fel like poop. makes them feel like they arent good enough. now if you have never had a realtionship thats one less thing you shall have to worry about.
Alfred hasnt talked to me since monday night. i have done everything in my power to fight for him. to keep him. but today through tears and talking to my friend rondel and grandma esther God spoke to my heart so closely. he showed me that the way i feel when alfred doesnt talk to me is the same way he feels when i dont take time with him. when i dont read the bible, when i dont pray, when i dont trust in god. ouch right. god chooses to love me despite all the stupid things i say. all he bad choices i make. he has a huge plan for me and i have been too blind to see it.
but i know this i love God i love alfred. and i want nothing but the very best for him. now i have to wait for alfred to fight for me to lead me the way a man ought to lead in christ. I know i have hurt him and for that i am beyond sorry. let this be a lesson learned to all of us who live in our past. seriously do you want past to ruin your future. no thank you.
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