the best of the worst of 2011

Readers,

   It is now December 31,2011 the  very last day of  the best  worst year  EVER!!!!!!  

as this  year  draws to an  end a  new year  comes. a new  season  a new  beginning.  

    Where to start where to begin this journey.  in the  beginning of  2011.... back  a year  ago  man that seems like  forever ago.  ha ha ha. in the  past few  days  weeks i have come to realise that many of us  this  has been one of the  best worst  years. its like  we have all  had to  deal with the  worst of things to be a better us.  that we can learn to lean on God not ourselves. less of me more of  Jesus. yes please... my dad  once told me that  when you are  stressed and going through the  hardest places that's  when God is  growing  us  up the  most. we are being  challenged to the  core.  think of it like this  its like we are all  mountain climbers. we start of  needing all the right tools  the right shoes.  we need to prepare ourselves  to embrace all  weather  climates when climbing our mountains. if  we aren't  trained  to  climb mountains we  could run into  many bumps in the  road.  god is  our  instructor  if we don't  let  him grow  us  up them  we  may be  the  climbers that climb to the  top  fastest  but  the  most unprepared. we must  go through each training  until we  get it.  it's better  to take your  time and  reach your  point then  rush to the  top and do everything the easy way.

 this  year i have  had to break  soul ties  3 times.  that  was  hard. there's been a guy i thought i was in love with  for  8 years ha ha  silly  me  that was  fantasy not  realistic.  then  I  fell into  fall back personality  to afraid to show anyone the  real me and I'm still  working on that.  i can  only  change so much in one time.  the last 8 months  its  like  i was the  lost and found. i  met a guy  he was everything i wanted in a guy  but not what i needed. i got  emotionally  attached and  3 weeks  a go we  broke up.  i know doesn't  make  sense.  more and more i see how much i need  God in my life.   I  have learnt  so much  through all this  life experience.  now you can fill in your  own  scenario how has  God blessed you and how are you thanking him for it?

 may 2012  be a  new year of  greatness and new joy. may  God  bring new horizons and  dreams  to our  lives and hearts. may we  grow in the  areas  where  God needs us and be a blessing to those that are around  us.

happy days

elz

percy

Dear  reader
  so  i have this funny  yet  cool  story.  the other night i was  playing the  keys at  home. i was  writing a song.  there was a humongous fly i  named him Percy.  ha ha  anyways as i stopped playing Percy  would get  irritated and  buzz  like crazy  then  i started  to play and  sing  again and Percy  would  calm  down and  listen  he would  stand  still. he was content.
  so  why is that when we lose  our focus we are all  scattered and  worried.  we are like Percy  annoyed and unsettled.yet  when  we  focus our  eyes  on Jesus. it is then and only then  where we  find freedom, break through, peace. well  you get it  right. Jesus  is the  one  we  worship not  ourselves and our  circumstances.  Jesus  longs  for a  deeper  relationship with us.  let's  get back to the  basics of  worship. maybe  you  have never  been taught  how to sing how  to  play an  instrument. or maybe you  play  completely  unique and  it  not  about what  you  can do its  about what God  wants to do through you.  
  I  am  most  guilty of  not  placing my  eyes on Jesus.  the  new  song  i  wrote the  chorus is... I will love you, I will adore you, I will choose you.  I'll  fight for you. many  of us  are facing  battles  inside and we know that god will come through for us  but  how do we  truly  trust  when  life  is  fading in the background.  it's  quite  simple  why are you thinking  about yourself.  i mean  really there is more then  just you and  I. I know that's  a hard  truth to hear.  and  you  can be  mad at me  all you  want. but  truth is  we  struggle  cause we are not trusting god.  we are not  obeying  him.  why is that?  
  I've had  a mentality  that i can do it  by myself  so long and God's  like  ok  i'll  let  you  think you are  in control but you  will  come  back to me when  the going get's  tough. there is a song  that is  in my mind  at the  moment.
  I lift my eyes  up. unto the  mountains  where  does my help come from. my help comes  from you. maker of heaven, creator of the earth.
  when  life gets  to hard are  you  going to trust god or  yourself? going back to Percy.  last  night  as i  played  music and sang Percy  found  peace  in the  atmosphere.  we are  the  ones  who can set the atmosphere.  come on let's  set  an atmosphere  of  worship of  prayer.  let's  change  and let God  take control of  all our  lives.




that's all for  now :)


elz

let it go

Dear Reader,
  So  i  am here at  work  thinking  hope  you  cant  see the  smoke  lol.
   you  know  when  life is  so  amazing and God is like  let  Go. i know i think God are you  crazy  I'm not letting go  of  this  of  that.  that  is too hard to let  go.  come on now we have all been here  many times.  whether  you  believe  in god or  not.  we have all been to this place where  we are  challenged  beyond  all  capacity.  we have a choice to  choose  are we going to let go and  trust  that God knows what he's doing. 
   With Jethro and I God told me  like a month ago  that i  need to let him go and  let  God  work ALL things  out.  to  tell you  the truth  i never knew how  hard it is  for me to trust God  until now.  letting go of the one  thing you  want more then  anything is  not  exactly easy  but  when you  let go of the reigns to trust  Jesus it's  worth  it.  
   what  do you  need to let go  today?  what are you  holding onto that's  taking the place of  God  in your life?  what's  keeping you  from the  joy of  life?  
  usually  when we are being disobedient that's  when God needs to  discipline.  like a  baby  right  if  a child  does  something they  aren't  supposed to then  they  need  a gentle firm  no.  a gentle  correction.  so  what's  keeping you  from letting  go? is it  fear of  what will  happen? what if.... or  maybe  you are  like me  and  you've tried to hold control for so long  and God's  saying let  go. will you  let go and let God or are you going to keep holding on to  the  things that  need  to be  released  to bring a freedom  in your  life. will you  let god break off the strong holds in your life?


   Dear Jesus i pray that  if  there are things that  we're holding onto  that we need to let go  that today God  we would  surrender our  will for yours. Jesus  that you  would  help us break off all strongholds in our lives. Jesus  bless us  today and  bring  freedom.  allow us to  receive your  joy  today. 


elz  

here

Dear  reader
even  now  i struggle  with the  words to speak.  my  mind full like a voice mail that  is  full and every time you try to  call i  don't  answer.  my  heart  feels  hurt  and  broken.  my   words  seem so unclear yet here i am writing  for others  who  need  a  positive message  on  relationships.
    here  i  am  wanting more then anything  to see  God restore   broken hearts.  even if i am broken i know that God will pull me through.  more then anything i want to see the  young  know what  real love is  not just the  fairy  tale  loves..  love is more then all of that.  i am still figuring that  out. love is deeper then just words. its like  our  very lifeline  without god without love  and hope and faith what  do we have?
  readers  i am not going to  write all these  false pretentious  words. here is the simple truth.  we have the  will to  change  course.  here's  how you do that.  1 let  go and let god.  2 learn how to trust and believe. 3  take  hold of  Gods  promises in your  life.
  we  often define  our  identity  in who we are  dating in  who  we hang  out but we forget that god is the  one  who  truly  defines us.  now I'm sure you  have  heard all the messages and all the  right things.  that's not where  I'm  going  with this.  don't  you  get frustrated  with those who try to build  you  up  and there  words are empty.  i mean they  say the  same things every time.  all you  want  is the  truth  not  the  same things.  anyways that's  more of  a  little  rant.
  where  do you  see yourself  going?  are you  going to  be the one to busy  to change or are you  going to  intentionally  change  no matter the outcome?

trust  believe  let  God  do the  work.

elz

bad days

Dear Reader

  you ever have a  bad  day  OK  just plain  bad month or  maybe year.  this whole  year  has  been one of the  best and worst years  so far.  its  like  one  moment  everything is  amazing then the next  everything in life feels like it's  fading and I'm being stretched  farther then i want. this year God has  really  been taking me  places.  i don't  even  know where to start exactly.
  the past  2 months have been  so stressful and  hard emotionally.  i  really liked a  guy and thought for sure  he was the one for me. (am I the only girl that does that) builds up  a relationship on a pedestal and  anxiously  awaits the  words "will  you go out  with me?"  crazy  right!!!! you  know that  feeling you  get when everything  all  falls in place and you  think  for sure here is the guy i am waiting for.you  build up the emotions. you  are  110% sure that he is the  one and then.... God tells  you  let him go.  so you  let him go and  then  your heart feels  hurt.you see  me and this  guy need to take the time to place Jesus  at the centre of all things.  not the  centre of each other.  mind you  my girl emotions placed this guy  before everything in life God and  other things too.  
     though it's  like a break up without dating this is the best place  for me right now. I don't know where  God will lead me through all this  but  i know  that God must have something huge in store  for the  wounded  heart. God always  has our  backs even when we don't see  him feel him.  we can trust that he  will take care of every detail  small and huge  in our lives. 
  I have to  admit  when you are  broken it is much easier to  want to run and hide. you  know hide  from the  feeling of  shame. or the  countless  questions  that  run through your mind. like what  did I do wrong?  must be  my fault.  why do things always happen to me? etc  you  know the  thoughts I'm talking about.
  I am still  having a  hard time getting through the  countless things. but  i know for sure that  God  holds my  future he holds your future.  so  whatever  the  hard time you are  facing maybe it's in relationships  with  loved ones maybe it's  you  lost your joy. maybe  everything and it's mother is  happening and your  whole life is  falling before you. maybe this is  the very  place you  need  to be to let God in completely.maybe you are at the  bottom so God  can take you  to the  top his way not ours.
   well this is  a  season to be jolly even when you don't  feel like it.  get up  today and  overcome.here is  something i read last  night. "no matter how bad things may seem life will  get better. God  will reset the time machine to forward, and the lovely swan in your future  will replace the ugly duckling. and there's a  good chance that the best benefit will be in your ability to relish the little things in life."
   so no matter how hard your situation may seem. Jesus will take care of ALL things  if you  will just  let him


elz

the once forgotten

Dear Reader
Have you ever  felt like you were forgotten? like every time  you  tried  to  find your way but you got lost. it's  like the  christian that  knows  what is  right but  somehow along the  way feels  like  no one  would  even know they are  falling. these are the Christians who struggle  ever  so much and we are too busy  to see that they  need  hope  they  need us  to  reach out.  now  i am sure we all  feel this  at  least  once in our  lives.  or maybe  you  just  dint  want to  admit that you are falling and you are  dyer  need of hope of rescue. you  begin to get angry  with God and  blame God for everything that is  wrong in your life.  why  God  why  would  you allow these  things to happen  if you are supposed to love me.  or there is also the  other side  all your  life you  have been  living  doing  what's right and you are just  tired of  living  what's  right and you want to  experiment with the  other side.  some of  you  will fall and some of you  will  choose to  do what's  right  despite  what  you  feel. 
  I   want to  write to  you about the  "falling" OK  so you  know  when  you are  little and you do that falling thing  you  have  someone  that will  stand  in front and  catch you  or behind you and catch you. you  have to "trust"  but  what  happens  when  no one is there to  catch you when you are falling.  it's  this thing that  grows in you  called "fear"  sooner or later  you  stop "trusting and  live life in "Fear". if you  don't  deal with the  fear  it will hold you in shackles of control. so  why  does  letting go  have to be so hard? 
  when people have let you  down  so much in your life  it is much easier to  shut  people out then to open up and "trust" you  know  what  i mean right?? anyways quite  often  times we  shut  out  everyone  because of trust issues. we  say we "trust"  do we really? I  know that  this is a  never ending  struggle  for me.  
 sooner or later  you are  just  going to have to let God in to do  what  god does best.  maybe  there is an area in your life right  now and  you are barely  holding on.  its  taking everything in you  to get up and rise above.  you  know things are going to get better but  when you are living in the moment it feels impossible.  Don't give up.  there is a hope there is a way  even  when you are falling let Jesus catch you.  will you trust in him today whatever the  circumstances  that you are  facing.
  God loves you so much. even  when others  have abandoned you God will never leave you. let him in today. may his peace be all over your life. may you  taste and  see that the Lord  is  good.  you  can trust him. maybe  you're thinking yeah right.  how  can i trust God  what  has he ever done  for me. God has done so much.  let go and let God. it's time to let healing in.


elz

(your name) warrior princess

As a young girl you're raised to be  a princess.  wait for your prince to come and rescue you. make him  fight to win your heart. we aren't  taught to be our own brand of warrior."wear your make up,your dresses. make sure your  hair is just right" then and only then will your  prince fall in love with you. of  course  inside  every  princess is a warrior waiting to fight. we fight through our prayers. God uses our  voices. we were  created for bigger. 
  As we begin to identify ourselves as woman of grace of  beauty.as we trust  God and let God romance us.we excel our true beauty, our confidence comes  from God. (my  daughter you are most beautiful there is  nothing at all wrong with you song of  songs 4:7) you see for as long as time itself there's  been attacks on woman's beauty, her character. "am I worth it, am I worth  loving.will guy's ever  see me for who i really am?
  So how do we define the men in our lives? we must first understand what's going on in there mind.  they're biggest question is  Do i have what it takes?as we need them to fight for our hearts they also need  us to fight for there's to.my brother told me about a year ago. "make a guy fight to win for your heart elz  make him fight for it."if it's to easy he won't  appreciate you. at the same time when the  men in our lives are fighting to protect us we must  fight for them in prayer stand our  ground  like Lucy  in the last Narnia. she was weaker in the first 2  movies then in the  3rd movie she  rose to the challenge. she  was a warrior. she fought  in the line of danger.now you might ask? How can I be a warrior? I'm just 1 person.with God for us who can be against us!as girls  we  struggle  with our  identity. I mean  whats our  place, our purpose as woman of  God? where  will my life begin? 
  A year ago God spoke  to me he  said  elz eventually you are  going to have to let someone in,  you  are  going to have to let someone love you. eventually you are going to have to trust someone. why not trust  me? I promise never to  leave you nor  forsake you. 
  maybe  you are like me and actually allowing yourself to trust  feels to hard. maybe people have rejected you or you've felt abandoned by people who made you promises.you can let God in. He  wants to heal you're  deepest  fears. maybe you've been abused and all you wanted  was for one person to reach out and catch your falling heart. for  so long you've compared yourself to others.  trying to  be someone worth loving just  wanting to be the belle of the ball.you are loved you are valued. it  doesn't matter what happened in your  past. God  forgives you can you forgive yourself? God won't  change his mind about you! you  are the  belle of the ball. you are most beautiful. don't let the assaults of the enemy  fly at you.don't be afraid to stand tall and stand your ground. you are your own brand of warrior. God has equipped you with gifts that are inside of you.you are not a mistake you are desired after.God chose you will you rise to the occasion or stay locked in a tower of the past never letting anyone in. break free,trust Jesus. join the adventure. be a  warrior  strong and  mighty.




elz