the best of the worst of 2011

Readers,

   It is now December 31,2011 the  very last day of  the best  worst year  EVER!!!!!!  

as this  year  draws to an  end a  new year  comes. a new  season  a new  beginning.  

    Where to start where to begin this journey.  in the  beginning of  2011.... back  a year  ago  man that seems like  forever ago.  ha ha ha. in the  past few  days  weeks i have come to realise that many of us  this  has been one of the  best worst  years. its like  we have all  had to  deal with the  worst of things to be a better us.  that we can learn to lean on God not ourselves. less of me more of  Jesus. yes please... my dad  once told me that  when you are  stressed and going through the  hardest places that's  when God is  growing  us  up the  most. we are being  challenged to the  core.  think of it like this  its like we are all  mountain climbers. we start of  needing all the right tools  the right shoes.  we need to prepare ourselves  to embrace all  weather  climates when climbing our mountains. if  we aren't  trained  to  climb mountains we  could run into  many bumps in the  road.  god is  our  instructor  if we don't  let  him grow  us  up them  we  may be  the  climbers that climb to the  top  fastest  but  the  most unprepared. we must  go through each training  until we  get it.  it's better  to take your  time and  reach your  point then  rush to the  top and do everything the easy way.

 this  year i have  had to break  soul ties  3 times.  that  was  hard. there's been a guy i thought i was in love with  for  8 years ha ha  silly  me  that was  fantasy not  realistic.  then  I  fell into  fall back personality  to afraid to show anyone the  real me and I'm still  working on that.  i can  only  change so much in one time.  the last 8 months  its  like  i was the  lost and found. i  met a guy  he was everything i wanted in a guy  but not what i needed. i got  emotionally  attached and  3 weeks  a go we  broke up.  i know doesn't  make  sense.  more and more i see how much i need  God in my life.   I  have learnt  so much  through all this  life experience.  now you can fill in your  own  scenario how has  God blessed you and how are you thanking him for it?

 may 2012  be a  new year of  greatness and new joy. may  God  bring new horizons and  dreams  to our  lives and hearts. may we  grow in the  areas  where  God needs us and be a blessing to those that are around  us.

happy days

elz

percy

Dear  reader
  so  i have this funny  yet  cool  story.  the other night i was  playing the  keys at  home. i was  writing a song.  there was a humongous fly i  named him Percy.  ha ha  anyways as i stopped playing Percy  would get  irritated and  buzz  like crazy  then  i started  to play and  sing  again and Percy  would  calm  down and  listen  he would  stand  still. he was content.
  so  why is that when we lose  our focus we are all  scattered and  worried.  we are like Percy  annoyed and unsettled.yet  when  we  focus our  eyes  on Jesus. it is then and only then  where we  find freedom, break through, peace. well  you get it  right. Jesus  is the  one  we  worship not  ourselves and our  circumstances.  Jesus  longs  for a  deeper  relationship with us.  let's  get back to the  basics of  worship. maybe  you  have never  been taught  how to sing how  to  play an  instrument. or maybe you  play  completely  unique and  it  not  about what  you  can do its  about what God  wants to do through you.  
  I  am  most  guilty of  not  placing my  eyes on Jesus.  the  new  song  i  wrote the  chorus is... I will love you, I will adore you, I will choose you.  I'll  fight for you. many  of us  are facing  battles  inside and we know that god will come through for us  but  how do we  truly  trust  when  life  is  fading in the background.  it's  quite  simple  why are you thinking  about yourself.  i mean  really there is more then  just you and  I. I know that's  a hard  truth to hear.  and  you  can be  mad at me  all you  want. but  truth is  we  struggle  cause we are not trusting god.  we are not  obeying  him.  why is that?  
  I've had  a mentality  that i can do it  by myself  so long and God's  like  ok  i'll  let  you  think you are  in control but you  will  come  back to me when  the going get's  tough. there is a song  that is  in my mind  at the  moment.
  I lift my eyes  up. unto the  mountains  where  does my help come from. my help comes  from you. maker of heaven, creator of the earth.
  when  life gets  to hard are  you  going to trust god or  yourself? going back to Percy.  last  night  as i  played  music and sang Percy  found  peace  in the  atmosphere.  we are  the  ones  who can set the atmosphere.  come on let's  set  an atmosphere  of  worship of  prayer.  let's  change  and let God  take control of  all our  lives.




that's all for  now :)


elz

let it go

Dear Reader,
  So  i  am here at  work  thinking  hope  you  cant  see the  smoke  lol.
   you  know  when  life is  so  amazing and God is like  let  Go. i know i think God are you  crazy  I'm not letting go  of  this  of  that.  that  is too hard to let  go.  come on now we have all been here  many times.  whether  you  believe  in god or  not.  we have all been to this place where  we are  challenged  beyond  all  capacity.  we have a choice to  choose  are we going to let go and  trust  that God knows what he's doing. 
   With Jethro and I God told me  like a month ago  that i  need to let him go and  let  God  work ALL things  out.  to  tell you  the truth  i never knew how  hard it is  for me to trust God  until now.  letting go of the one  thing you  want more then  anything is  not  exactly easy  but  when you  let go of the reigns to trust  Jesus it's  worth  it.  
   what  do you  need to let go  today?  what are you  holding onto that's  taking the place of  God  in your life?  what's  keeping you  from the  joy of  life?  
  usually  when we are being disobedient that's  when God needs to  discipline.  like a  baby  right  if  a child  does  something they  aren't  supposed to then  they  need  a gentle firm  no.  a gentle  correction.  so  what's  keeping you  from letting  go? is it  fear of  what will  happen? what if.... or  maybe  you are  like me  and  you've tried to hold control for so long  and God's  saying let  go. will you  let go and let God or are you going to keep holding on to  the  things that  need  to be  released  to bring a freedom  in your  life. will you  let god break off the strong holds in your life?


   Dear Jesus i pray that  if  there are things that  we're holding onto  that we need to let go  that today God  we would  surrender our  will for yours. Jesus  that you  would  help us break off all strongholds in our lives. Jesus  bless us  today and  bring  freedom.  allow us to  receive your  joy  today. 


elz  

here

Dear  reader
even  now  i struggle  with the  words to speak.  my  mind full like a voice mail that  is  full and every time you try to  call i  don't  answer.  my  heart  feels  hurt  and  broken.  my   words  seem so unclear yet here i am writing  for others  who  need  a  positive message  on  relationships.
    here  i  am  wanting more then anything  to see  God restore   broken hearts.  even if i am broken i know that God will pull me through.  more then anything i want to see the  young  know what  real love is  not just the  fairy  tale  loves..  love is more then all of that.  i am still figuring that  out. love is deeper then just words. its like  our  very lifeline  without god without love  and hope and faith what  do we have?
  readers  i am not going to  write all these  false pretentious  words. here is the simple truth.  we have the  will to  change  course.  here's  how you do that.  1 let  go and let god.  2 learn how to trust and believe. 3  take  hold of  Gods  promises in your  life.
  we  often define  our  identity  in who we are  dating in  who  we hang  out but we forget that god is the  one  who  truly  defines us.  now I'm sure you  have  heard all the messages and all the  right things.  that's not where  I'm  going  with this.  don't  you  get frustrated  with those who try to build  you  up  and there  words are empty.  i mean they  say the  same things every time.  all you  want  is the  truth  not  the  same things.  anyways that's  more of  a  little  rant.
  where  do you  see yourself  going?  are you  going to  be the one to busy  to change or are you  going to  intentionally  change  no matter the outcome?

trust  believe  let  God  do the  work.

elz

bad days

Dear Reader

  you ever have a  bad  day  OK  just plain  bad month or  maybe year.  this whole  year  has  been one of the  best and worst years  so far.  its  like  one  moment  everything is  amazing then the next  everything in life feels like it's  fading and I'm being stretched  farther then i want. this year God has  really  been taking me  places.  i don't  even  know where to start exactly.
  the past  2 months have been  so stressful and  hard emotionally.  i  really liked a  guy and thought for sure  he was the one for me. (am I the only girl that does that) builds up  a relationship on a pedestal and  anxiously  awaits the  words "will  you go out  with me?"  crazy  right!!!! you  know that  feeling you  get when everything  all  falls in place and you  think  for sure here is the guy i am waiting for.you  build up the emotions. you  are  110% sure that he is the  one and then.... God tells  you  let him go.  so you  let him go and  then  your heart feels  hurt.you see  me and this  guy need to take the time to place Jesus  at the centre of all things.  not the  centre of each other.  mind you  my girl emotions placed this guy  before everything in life God and  other things too.  
     though it's  like a break up without dating this is the best place  for me right now. I don't know where  God will lead me through all this  but  i know  that God must have something huge in store  for the  wounded  heart. God always  has our  backs even when we don't see  him feel him.  we can trust that he  will take care of every detail  small and huge  in our lives. 
  I have to  admit  when you are  broken it is much easier to  want to run and hide. you  know hide  from the  feeling of  shame. or the  countless  questions  that  run through your mind. like what  did I do wrong?  must be  my fault.  why do things always happen to me? etc  you  know the  thoughts I'm talking about.
  I am still  having a  hard time getting through the  countless things. but  i know for sure that  God  holds my  future he holds your future.  so  whatever  the  hard time you are  facing maybe it's in relationships  with  loved ones maybe it's  you  lost your joy. maybe  everything and it's mother is  happening and your  whole life is  falling before you. maybe this is  the very  place you  need  to be to let God in completely.maybe you are at the  bottom so God  can take you  to the  top his way not ours.
   well this is  a  season to be jolly even when you don't  feel like it.  get up  today and  overcome.here is  something i read last  night. "no matter how bad things may seem life will  get better. God  will reset the time machine to forward, and the lovely swan in your future  will replace the ugly duckling. and there's a  good chance that the best benefit will be in your ability to relish the little things in life."
   so no matter how hard your situation may seem. Jesus will take care of ALL things  if you  will just  let him


elz

the once forgotten

Dear Reader
Have you ever  felt like you were forgotten? like every time  you  tried  to  find your way but you got lost. it's  like the  christian that  knows  what is  right but  somehow along the  way feels  like  no one  would  even know they are  falling. these are the Christians who struggle  ever  so much and we are too busy  to see that they  need  hope  they  need us  to  reach out.  now  i am sure we all  feel this  at  least  once in our  lives.  or maybe  you  just  dint  want to  admit that you are falling and you are  dyer  need of hope of rescue. you  begin to get angry  with God and  blame God for everything that is  wrong in your life.  why  God  why  would  you allow these  things to happen  if you are supposed to love me.  or there is also the  other side  all your  life you  have been  living  doing  what's right and you are just  tired of  living  what's  right and you want to  experiment with the  other side.  some of  you  will fall and some of you  will  choose to  do what's  right  despite  what  you  feel. 
  I   want to  write to  you about the  "falling" OK  so you  know  when  you are  little and you do that falling thing  you  have  someone  that will  stand  in front and  catch you  or behind you and catch you. you  have to "trust"  but  what  happens  when  no one is there to  catch you when you are falling.  it's  this thing that  grows in you  called "fear"  sooner or later  you  stop "trusting and  live life in "Fear". if you  don't  deal with the  fear  it will hold you in shackles of control. so  why  does  letting go  have to be so hard? 
  when people have let you  down  so much in your life  it is much easier to  shut  people out then to open up and "trust" you  know  what  i mean right?? anyways quite  often  times we  shut  out  everyone  because of trust issues. we  say we "trust"  do we really? I  know that  this is a  never ending  struggle  for me.  
 sooner or later  you are  just  going to have to let God in to do  what  god does best.  maybe  there is an area in your life right  now and  you are barely  holding on.  its  taking everything in you  to get up and rise above.  you  know things are going to get better but  when you are living in the moment it feels impossible.  Don't give up.  there is a hope there is a way  even  when you are falling let Jesus catch you.  will you trust in him today whatever the  circumstances  that you are  facing.
  God loves you so much. even  when others  have abandoned you God will never leave you. let him in today. may his peace be all over your life. may you  taste and  see that the Lord  is  good.  you  can trust him. maybe  you're thinking yeah right.  how  can i trust God  what  has he ever done  for me. God has done so much.  let go and let God. it's time to let healing in.


elz

(your name) warrior princess

As a young girl you're raised to be  a princess.  wait for your prince to come and rescue you. make him  fight to win your heart. we aren't  taught to be our own brand of warrior."wear your make up,your dresses. make sure your  hair is just right" then and only then will your  prince fall in love with you. of  course  inside  every  princess is a warrior waiting to fight. we fight through our prayers. God uses our  voices. we were  created for bigger. 
  As we begin to identify ourselves as woman of grace of  beauty.as we trust  God and let God romance us.we excel our true beauty, our confidence comes  from God. (my  daughter you are most beautiful there is  nothing at all wrong with you song of  songs 4:7) you see for as long as time itself there's  been attacks on woman's beauty, her character. "am I worth it, am I worth  loving.will guy's ever  see me for who i really am?
  So how do we define the men in our lives? we must first understand what's going on in there mind.  they're biggest question is  Do i have what it takes?as we need them to fight for our hearts they also need  us to fight for there's to.my brother told me about a year ago. "make a guy fight to win for your heart elz  make him fight for it."if it's to easy he won't  appreciate you. at the same time when the  men in our lives are fighting to protect us we must  fight for them in prayer stand our  ground  like Lucy  in the last Narnia. she was weaker in the first 2  movies then in the  3rd movie she  rose to the challenge. she  was a warrior. she fought  in the line of danger.now you might ask? How can I be a warrior? I'm just 1 person.with God for us who can be against us!as girls  we  struggle  with our  identity. I mean  whats our  place, our purpose as woman of  God? where  will my life begin? 
  A year ago God spoke  to me he  said  elz eventually you are  going to have to let someone in,  you  are  going to have to let someone love you. eventually you are going to have to trust someone. why not trust  me? I promise never to  leave you nor  forsake you. 
  maybe  you are like me and actually allowing yourself to trust  feels to hard. maybe people have rejected you or you've felt abandoned by people who made you promises.you can let God in. He  wants to heal you're  deepest  fears. maybe you've been abused and all you wanted  was for one person to reach out and catch your falling heart. for  so long you've compared yourself to others.  trying to  be someone worth loving just  wanting to be the belle of the ball.you are loved you are valued. it  doesn't matter what happened in your  past. God  forgives you can you forgive yourself? God won't  change his mind about you! you  are the  belle of the ball. you are most beautiful. don't let the assaults of the enemy  fly at you.don't be afraid to stand tall and stand your ground. you are your own brand of warrior. God has equipped you with gifts that are inside of you.you are not a mistake you are desired after.God chose you will you rise to the occasion or stay locked in a tower of the past never letting anyone in. break free,trust Jesus. join the adventure. be a  warrior  strong and  mighty.




elz

fall back personality

Dear  Reader's
 So  you  must  wonder  what does a fall back personality mean?  until the last  month I  did  not understand this.  what it is, is  a  place you  go  back to  to feel safe to  shut other's  out.  over  the  past  year i have been living this fall  back lifestyle. oh  believe  me when i say I didn't  even know i was in this place.  
    my  friend  gave me this  killer analogy as well its  like you are on a merry go round. when you  start off  it is going just the  right passe but  as others  want to  join you  it  incidentally starts  to  speed up until you  begin to spin out  of  control. now  where  are you left  you are a mess and  nothing has changed accept that  you  are  trying to  get  back to  this  place where you  are comfortable.  I like to call this place the "comfort  zone" in this comfort  zone you  only  do  what  makes you  comfortable  then  along  comes "change" and you have 1 of  2 choices  you  A) welcome in change or B) you reject the idea that  change is not your enemy. change  could  actually be a good thing. change happens  whether we like it or  not. when  " comfort zone"  goes up against "change" it  becomes iron  sharpens iron  you  can't  get  out of  this  place you are  in  until you let change  happen.  now "change" is not fun  always. that's a  fact.  
  So where  does  this  things  called "fall back  personality"or  F.B.P come  from? now  I could be wrong cause i am not a Doctor. but here is my  take on  the F.B.P  when you are  fighting  change you  fall back into  this "comfort  zone" in fact you  go back into old  ways and habits.  now at  first  you  may not  even  be aware of this. you slowly  begin to  change.  and it's  not the  good  change either.  once you  allow the enemy  foothold upon your  life it  is hard to trust  that God  has already  won our battles for us.It  becomes hard  to believe  that there where there is a will there is also a way.
   I  just want to take a minute to pray over you  my  readers.  Dear God i pray that you  will  bring us  closer  to you. that you would let your  will be done in our  lives today.  Jesus  that you  would  reveal truth  to us  where we are at  whether we  struggle  with the  F.B.P.  or not.  Jesus  that we may  trust in you alone today no matter  what we face.  may you  bless us in every  area  of  our lives and  bring peace.  thank you for  what you are doing in our  lives.  we love you. in Jesus  name amen.



elz

bully

Dear  Reader,
  when is it  ever ok to pick on anyone? for many years now there has been  issues.  today i was thinking  about the  bullies of heart.  you  may not outwardly always be a  bully.  but how many of us think bad thoughts bout each other? how many of us have felt like punching someone out. I think  we all have one  time or another.  ok where am i going with this you  may ask? 
  when I was in public school i was bullied verbally, physically. when i was in grade 3 there was a young  boy in grade 1 he had taken my scarf and started to strangle me.  my little sister saw this in the background.  she was this  little thing and my  attacker was a bigger guy. she  took him out.layed him out on the ground and started to pound the  heck out of this guy.  you know don't mess with my family mentality. I was  also  told  many hard things.  i  began  to feel so inferior.  like i could never measure up to anything i mean those things had been spoken over my life since  public  school.  
  Here's  the  thing when you are at the bottom  you don't  have anywhere  to go  but up.  i had to fight my way through. and  let me say that has never been easy to me. you  feel like a turtle  stuck in it's  shell. you  become comfortable  inside of this shell.  you  become  what people  say over your life though you  always have the choice to choose.
  at this point in life i have  seen  that  even at times i have been a  verbal bully. you  know  when  someone is annoying you and  you  lack the  grace. you lack the patience. in a moment of emotion and  on a feelings  base you  say things  to the ones you love that hurt and once you  have spoken you can't  take back those very words.  words  that  cause a deep wounding in there  very  being. have you  spoken unkindly  to  someone  to  or  behind there  back before.  i hate to  admit  but  i have. honestly  this  thing  about  bullies is  getting  worse out there for  the  children and youth,  bullies  just  want to feel  good about themselves so they put down  anyone who appears inferior. maybe  you are the  victim of being the bullied or maybe you  are  the  bully. either  way  may  this  message  wring true  to your hearts today.  I  get  it ! life is a huge process.  god loves us to much to leave us the  same. we can fight this inadequacy  these  insecurities that  keep us  captive. we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.
 so what's  it going to be  dear  reader? are you going to  be the  bully or are you  going  to choose to overcome today  where  you are standing. or are going to stay the  same with  the  whoa is me  victims  mindset.  i am sorry for  speaking so harsh.  i know this is a hard  place to overcome.  but  together  with God and a person you trust  you  can beat this  inadequacy of the  heart.  you  got this. i believe in you.




elz
  

strangers in high places

Dear Reader's 


  here I am speaking again from a new  perspective. it  was  just  early  this morning my sister said something and it struck me.  she was talking about her now closest guy friend. at  first when she met him. she automatically assumed he was going to be just like every other student worker.  so she was  kind of  rude to him.  yet here this young man  was new and  she at first had to force herself to  speak  kind words. now  they are pretty much best friends. and when she  speaks  his name  her  face lights up like a candle just lit.
  so my question to you reader's how many  times have you passed a  stranger by? I mean I  bet some of your thoughts were things like oh i  wish I had  time for  that person today.  or  you are like most you are to busy  to say hello .I also  realize  with today's culture it  comes  down  to this  thing called  trust. i mean most of  us  find it  strange  for some stranger to  be friendly  to us. we don't  know them from a hole in the ground after all!other times we just give a  quick  hello  goodbye as we politely walk past them cause we can't  stand those slower walkers. (come on now are you not thinking that with me?) ha ha alright!!
   I guess what  I'm  just  saying is if we call ourselves  Christians  then why do we  let ourselves miss out  daily  on opportunities to witness to these strangers in high places.so  Don't be a stranger. rise above and  become the best you that you can be.






elz
    

the power behind Blessing

Dear reader,

   so this  is a  new  discovery for me so  bare with me if you will.  

  as  you may or may not  know last  week  started  off  crappy and  blah!!   then my friend  sent  me a letter  everyday except  Wednesday!!! at the end  of  each  letter he  wrote  "may God bless you"now  you  might be like me and take blessings for  granted.  say amen if  you are with me lol!!!   seriously  do  I  get an amen!!!! as i started to believe in Gods blessings. I  was blessed  through conversations with other  fellow believers. you know when you are in  "blah mode"  there  words  become the  biggest  blessing of all.  there  words become the  strength the  hope and the  words  needed to get you  through the  day. 

    I never before realized the  power  in  "may God bless you" how  important  those very  words are.  i mean fact  we pray blessings upon our  food, country, pastors, leaders, well you get the point. how  often do you  speak those words and  you  don't  think of the  power behind  them. I am  guilty  of that. did  you  know that  when you believe those  words you are  trusting God to  truly "bless  you" so  what  kind of  blessings are having  believing  for  today? maybe  you have the  flu. then  believe God  will bless you  with  fully  restored health. maybe you  struggle  with finances. then believe  God  for  the  provision,  maybe you are  trusting God to bless you  in other  areas then believe that he  can  do  all things, believe that god is able. he is  God  there is  nothing that he cannot do for those who believe. make your requests  known to him whatever  the  matter  big or  small. let's  have faith to move the mountains tonight/today. Our  God is  more then  able to  bless  us  big or small.  so  start believing in  Gods  promises over our  lives. if you  can  speak then you can proclaim Gods  blessings over  your  life, your  circumstances. come on  do I  get an amen.  lol  

   

   Reader  this may be  hard to trust  in God enough to bless you. there is  no limits with God. young  woman  there is a  struggle in your  life.  believe that god  can  bless you.  that there  might be  days  of  conflict  but  as you  begin to proclaim that God is  going to bless your  enemies. you  will begin to  see the  touch of God upon your  life like never before. young man take courage.  have  faith that God is going to  provide.  i  know  where  you are  at  seems  impossible  but as you believe  that God  can and will bless you.l a  faith  so  deep so  strong will begin to  grow  within you.  young  mom's have  faith there is a new day  coming there is a  hope for you. God loves you so purposefully.  will you  rise  today and  receive  God's  blessings  upon you in every area of your  life.   get  up  and don't  reside  to giving up anymore. your life matter's  you are of great value. 

May  God  downpour  his blessings upon you  where ever you are. may his  peace be all over your  life in every  circumstance.

elz

reach out beyond yourself

Readers,
   so  today  as i am  here.  my heart goes out to  christians all over young and old.  this blog is  for  christians  who feel  ignored, who feel as if they  don't  matter,  you  know who you are.
  we are  out there all over.  recently  i was  talking  with a youth.  she  simply  told me that  at  tribe  i am the only  one that reaches out to her. what an honor?  you  see  even i am guilty of this looking  past  christians.  yet they are  sometimes the  ones in greatest  need.  
  I am in the  wilderness  season and though it's  not  great and  exciting  God is  showing me not only things  about my life  but  other's   to. so  my question is  why do we  look  past the ones that need us the most?
   here is  my little intake  on this.  many times in my life i have  been longing  for  just a person to take the  time to reach out  and rescue me.  but  most times  i was let down  so i started to  shut people out. i mean  i can open the  surface of me up but don't  ask me to open the depths of me up  cause that is like opening a  lock that  won't  open.i try   i really  do  but  thats  not easy. anyways about a month ago i was at a really low point in my life and i tryed to ask  for help from a  leader and they dismissed me like you  are a christian  why  do  i need to help  you  kind of mentality.  so  for over a month i didn't  go to  crossroads i  ran  away  in my own little  attitude and  world. i know that i am not alone in this.  there are people  in our churches  as we speak that are  needing  hope. i mean  it's  easy to put on a fake  smile and  wear a mask.  you  do that long enough you  begin to  forget who you really are.  so  who are you  today? where do you  fit in this scene? it's easier to bury yourself rather than  reveal yourself.  it's scary to really let anyone in. trust  me  i know.
 honestly  though there are many stories i could tell you of  young  girls or  guys that  have  fallen  because  no one took the  time to  reach out.  now this is  not  always  the  case however.sometimes  people just want the  attention so they  go off the  grid.  and  many of us  wan to  see  nothing but the  good in people  that  we miss the  signs of  struggle.that  we are to  focused in our  little  cliques to  notice.  ( to  really  touch your  heart you  should watch the movie "to  save a life" that  movie  will  touch  you  in a whole  new  way!!!
  anyway  the purpose of me  writing to you  today is  to open your  eyes  where  they me  blind  to  open up  your  heart in new ways.  there is a  falling  society  out there that needs  us.  so what's  it going to be.  you  going to  stand  up  and  reach out or are you the one  who is  breaking inside and  you are  in need  of  someone to  help you.  i urge  you  not to  run away  like i  did.  find  a  leader  find  someone that will  listen to you  before  it is too late.  


 young  person  you  know who you are! God  loves you  flawless.  you are  worth it! you  are  valuable and i am  truly  glad that God  designed  you.  he  purposefully made you.  and  I  am  so glad that you  are here.  may  god continue his  great  work in your  life. may you hold on to hope today. may you find  joy in each situation.  may  God  give you  a  friend  that will  stick  closer then a  brother. 
much  love always ...........










elz
  


   

if aint broken then why try to fix it

Dear  Reader's
     So you  must  be wondering   where in  the world  i have been all week.  the  first  part of the  week i  was kind of  moping  around  frustrated and  depressed.  yeah  i get that  way!! OK  so  the  real  message is  directed to  Christians  today!!
  As  Christians  there is an  expectation  and  people  kind of  just assume that you  are  somewhat  perfect!!! yeah  right  sometimes  as a  christian  we struggle the  most.  today i want to  fill you  in  on a  little  secret!  We are not  Perfect. We are  human.  OK  maybe you  are  thinking  man  how many times  have i heard  that typical  thought? "We are  only  human." I  am right  there  with you.  
    so  earlier this week when i was in my little pity  party  mode.  God  used  my friend  on  Monday  morning  as i awoke  i  got  up and  walked around when i  looked at the  front  door  i noticed  there  was a letter  i figured maybe  mom  just  dropped  off  mail for  my sister and I.  On the  envelope  was my name  so  i  opened  this  letter with great  excitement  for i knew it was from  my friend. (p.s  I  love letters  so mysterious you  never know what  people are thinking.)  the  words were  exactly  what i needed to hear  that  day, how  can people be  in 2 places but the  same words hit  just  has  deep? anyways i  carried on my day. then  Tuesday  the  same thing another  letter  awaited me.  but I  didn't  get it at all  at  first for when  i just  wake up my  eyes  are a bit blurry.  anyways  i carried on my  day  and eventually i sat down and  read this  letter.  my friend wrote  about  how  many  of  us  are  having a  hard time finding our place and  we  don't  need  people to  try and fix us  we just need  that  listening ear or  maybe  suggestion's  can you  relate  to the fixing people  mentality? on  Tuesday  night his parents  came over and  we had such an  insightful talk.  i got to hear  a  fathers heart towards his children.   yesterday i  worked  with  a whole new attitude. OK if that  was  not encouraging enough when i woke up again this morning another letter awaited  me.  
     I am here  at  work and  thinking about  why  do  we  try to  fix people that  don't  always  need to be  fixed?does that  not  annoy you  when you  are having a  moment of  crisis and maybe  you  just need to talk it out and that's that  you  need the  listener  to offer  fixing.  when  we are truly  broken vessels  we can turn to God and  we can trust his ways are  better then  our  thoughts and ways.  I  know easier said then  done.
     so  this  i conclude today.....  If you are  out there  reading this with the fixing mentality.  maybe you  could  try listening and  then  have  little  suggestions.  Goodness  knows we need listeners  that  actually listen.   and  maybe you  are reading this  and  thinking  how  dare her  say this  well  it's  the truth not  just  some  dusted  fact  that i  pull from a bookcase.  and  it's  what we need to hear me  included.
     may  God  bless you today. may he open our ears to hear  again may our  eyes  be  fixed on God.  peace be over you no matter the  circumstances you  face today.  may Gods  perfect love  draw  you  closer to who you are.  may you  know who you are  today where ever  you are  reader.  may  this  simple truth  resonate  in your  heart of hearts today.


elz
  

identity crisis

Dear Reader,


   Last  night i had a  dream that i went to  college  and i couldn't  find  what  i was looking  for  but  for  some  reason  people  kept  finding me and  directing  me  all these  places.  it was as if  you  could  tell  i  didn't  belong  kind  of  like  you  can tell  a  country  folk from city folk. any ways it was  like  i was there but  not there  kind of the  person looking  inside of what could  be. you  know a  reflection of  who you really are.  I  am being  pulled by  2  guys  they bring  me  to a  shop  of  some sort and  i  knew that was not who i was i mean me  trying to  fix cars ha ha ha yeah right!!! that  is  not  who I  am.  (have you  ever  been placed somewhere  that  you can play the part but  it's  not your perfect fit.) once i left  that  place  i  started  going up to people and asking them for direction until i was pointed in the right direction. any ways so  as i was searching  for the right fit. i saw myself in this class at the college and when i got  up  everywhere around me was ice.  everybody turned to ice. there was only 2 people that didn't  turn  to ice me and the girl who made everything ice. as i touched  people they  turned  back  to normal again.  then i found  some friends. as i  observed  this one  girl  i  noticed that  her  identity  changed  ever  so rapidly one  moment she was  skinny beautiful  then she  changed  within seconds  she became this darker girl.  i knew that  i had to talk to her.  my sister  tried  to  talk but i told her no this is  for me to do not her. (you  know  that we all  have  specific  things  that  we need to  do  but sometimes  we  let  other's  do  it  for us  how  will  we  ever  learn?) as i  went up to this  girl  i  could tell  she  was about to burst either into  sobs or  anger.  i knew that i had to talk from the  heart.  I  can't  remember everything i said. i just  know  i  started to tell her that I could  see the  real her and she  didn't have to try to  be something she isn't. as i spoke  more words in love the  real heart  of this girl appeared.  at the end  of this conversation this  real beautiful girl came out  she wasn't  like anyone  ever  expected. she  was more timid and  insecure this girl always hiding behind masks.  her  identity  was lost.  yet  in that moment it was like the  lost  girl was found. the once lonely  now  thrived.  the  once proclaimed  "dumb or  not  smart enough girl" came  so  smart in who she  was.
  You see  for as long  as you are  trying to be  someone else  you  can never truly be you.(  it's  like  taking  a  baker  and making them fix a car.  see where i am going with this.  sometimes we are so  focused on fitting in that we  do the  opposite of  what  we are  really skilled in.  don't  be 30% of  what  other's want be 100% of who you are.  so what is your  reflection showing you today?  when you  look at yourself  who do you  see.  are you lonely, hurting, angry, disappointed,  discouraged, lost, afraid etc
  Do you  know that all those things are fed by lies of the enemy.  do you  know how valuable you are today  young man young woman, do you  know that you are  worth more then silver and gold? YEAH  YOU!  YOU ARE  SO WORTH IT. YOU BELONG. YOU  ARE PRECIOUS IN GOD'S SIGHT. YOU  ARE  MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH EACH  PASSING BREATH. 


Elz

In the heart of the storm

Dear  reader,
  Lately  I have felt  an attack on my  character.  It's  like i get  past  one thing and then another thing just  as  hard  hits me  like  a  an arrow to the heart. everything in me wants to  run and  hide. you  see  i am good  at  speaking  from the  surface but  from the  depths of my  heart yeah  you can forget that!!  it's  not that i  don't  want to  let  people in it's  that i don't  trust many.  i know i write  all these blogs on  life.  i  write  from the heart of things.  yet  the  writer aka me  can't  seem to  get to the heart of things for  myself.
   On Wednesday I went  to  tribe and  decided that i need to start praying for the leaders. ( p.s any  leader that  needs  prayer please  come to me  before  tribe  starts and i would love to pray for you)  as  worship  ended  my  eyes  just  began to water  with passion for our  king.  God  is  greater then anything we are going through.  i anxiously  awaited to find out  if i made the  worship  team. and the  answer  was  no in  fact i have been taken off the  worship team  completely.  to tell you  the truth I  was  not upset.  in  fact as  funny as it  was i was just hoping that  people won't  get the  wrong idea.  that season is  over and this  is  my time to  shine. i just know  where  my  light needs to shine.this  is  my season.  my  season to change my character.  i mean to let God  do the work needed in me.  cause on my own  everything feels like it's  fading though i have  the most amazing friends that one  could  pray  for. ( each of my friend is  instrumental in there own way. take  my friend James. he  is always there  with strength and willing to  pray  and  speak into my life. then there is Michelle  who  is  iron  sharpens iron,  then there is  Tiffany who  will  tell you  the  truth as it is.  then you  have  Amanda who is relatable, then you have Jethro who  will call me out on things that no one  knows about, then you have Charlotte that is  very  gentle  but  has  so much to offer and  Bobbi  Joe she  is  like a  big sister and has  the biggest  loving heart,  she  would  be there for  anyone  in a  heart beat. thank you Jesus  for  influential people in my life and those that i didn't  mention God  uses you  all so much you  all have  such a special place in my  life and in my heart.
  (oh  God you are my god, I  will  ever  praise you, I  will  praise you in the morning, I  will learn to  walk in your ways. and step  by  step  you  lead me. and i will follow you all of my  days.) 
  Maybe like me you  feel as thought you  can't  find your place. in side of you,  you  know that you  belong,  but you  don't  know where  you fit in the  picture. you  try to tell yourself that it  will be alright and it  will.  be alright!  I can't  stand the feeling of inadequacy of the heart  it's  very unsettling. ha ha ha 
  maybe  your circumstances are  overwhelming and  you  have  had enough. you  just  can't  stand the  place you are in. I  know where you are at  i know the  hard places that you are facing because i think this is the  worst month for me really  can't  wait  for it to be over to  be honest.  but here's  the  thing  as long as we are running from our  circumstances we aren't  going to  change we are  just  going to  stay the same until we  truly get it. you  know that God allows  us to go through the  hard  times  so that  we can  grow and be  better for it.  he loves us to much to leave us the same.  so get  over  this thinking that  you  don't  fit that you aren't  good enough. it's  time to  smarten up and  thank Jesus for  everything.
   Michelle told me today that   we are like a  cookie.  Jesus  is the flour  that holds the  substance holds the foundation.  with each season you  go through there  is  another ingredient  that God adds. if  you  take the spoon and  Don't let  God  put the  ingredient  say for example the  vanilla extract.  if  you  keep God  back  and don't  allow him to give you  he  next  ingredient that cookie is not complete.so  do you want to be  fully  baked  and fully  prepared  or  do you  want to be the cookie that has missing  ingredients?   each of  us  makes a  different  kind of  cookie. we are fearfully and wonderfully made in all of Gods  creation.( analogy  from Michelle)






els

faith in the eye of the storm

Dear Reader,
                   Believe means to trust!!
    How  many times  have you had to deal with trust.  with believing in something bigger then your self.Right now  I am  having a hard time  believing  what I speak.  you  know it's  one thing  to speak  something but it's another thing to  believe something. 
   do  you  have  areas in you life that need to  change  or maybe your  past has dictated your circumstances. for  as long as i can remember i have shut people out  when i think they will hurt me i  put up this wall  of  defense.  anyone  else do that? 
    Here's the thing  almost all of my life i have  buried  the  real me  mostly from  past  issues.  i was forced to hide from  circumstances rather then  to  stand up  i let my insecurities  hold me  back. i was  too  afraid to let anyone in.  i  didn't  think that i was  worth anything so i let people  talk me out of my place. I let there  words hurt me. 
here I  was a girl  trying to find myself  and  never knowing who  i was  to be.  then  one  day  God  called me out and  told me  the  plans  he had  for me.  but  i was  to  caught up in myself to  believe that God  could actually be talking to me. now  i am in this  crossroads  trying to  be the best i can be.  not  just  some  christian  who  does  what's  right.  with all of me i want  to live a  life  for God.  
  let this be  my prayer for all of you  going through some of the hardest  things of your life.
 May  God's  love be  enough to save you from yourself in the hard times to follow. may you find  peace in God's presence. may you find joy in the places  where  hardness  of heart  has  tried to  overtake.may  God's love change you deep within.  you  know that  there is a  hope  beyond you and I  there is a  voice that needs to be heard.  so get  up  young man   get up young  woman  be the  over comer that you are  born to be. it's  time to  get  over yourself.


Elz

how are you!

Dear  Reader
   How are you  doing  today? you  know to most this  simple  questions is  a  very loaded  one. you  know most  people  don't  expect a  real  answer "how are you" if  you are  at all like me  i  want to  answer  honestly  but  people are to busy  to hear the  truth.  so  how are you really doing  is  another approach!!  same thing  just  cut  the  falseness out.  
   How  do you respond  from the  depths of your  heart. I am sitting here at work. thinking of  an honest answer to how i  really  am.  you  see it has  become  so easy  to say i am  awesome  but  inside everything  feels  like it's  falling apart.  do you  do the  same  thing to? do you  cover up  how you feel!!i do that a lot.  it's  easier that way  but here's  the truth.  when you  cover  up so much  you stop  opening up the  real sides of you.  
   flip  side of it is  maybe you are one of those people that doesn't  take the  time to  really  find out  how  people are doing!! that's  so  easy to do as well.  you  have  all these  things to do and places to be that you  just want to be polite and  have  the  quick how are you then escape. but  maybe  just maybe  that person is at the lowest places in there life and they need  you  to  really  care  for  more then just a  quick hi  bye  thing. just think about it  at least!!!
     So  how are you today reader? is  everything OK for real?  if you  need to talk  bout  something  I am here.  my ears  are always  open.




Elz

hide and go seek

Dear  Readers
  Let's  just  get straight to the point.  lately  I  have had  every  opportunity to  run and to hide away  instead of  dealing  with some  pretty hard things.  i know i tend to  take on things i don't  have to.  I've  been  holding little  mini  pity  parties for myself. Really  who doesn't  every  once in awhile.
   I  have  to face  some  giants in my life and i  would  rather   hide  and  not have to  face up.  most  of  you  must  be  thinking  what is she talking  about?  Saturday  night i went to support my  brother  at his hockey  game. i  honestly wanted to get the heck out of there.  i  felt like an outsider  looking in. you  know if you are  lost you  want to be found. It  was as if i  wasn't  even there.  i had to  try not to cry  but  i had  small  tears  streaming down my face.  thinking  God  i know  i belong   but  what  is going on?people love me 
  About   9 or  10 years ago i went through the  exact same thing at  my parents church.  when i left  i ran away  from everyone i  mean  at this point  i  hardly  knew God. God felt  so far away from me.  but i knew that  he existed.  so i  ran away and  came  to  crossroads community  church.
  you  see  the  very  same  deal  minus  i  have a  relationship with God now.  everything in me wants  to  run.  but  I  won't  that's  not the  right thing to do. I'm not a  runner  anymore  i am a God  seeker. I  want  nothing but  God's  best.
  just before  i  moved out  there was another place that I  almost moved to  but  my mom told me no  your attitude is all wrong this is a  waiting season so just wait out and  let God  change your  heart and attitude.  I  didn't  want to hear that at all!!! anyways god  blessed  me  with a way  better place and  it  pays to wait  on God rather then  rush  and  run.
  If you are out there reading this and  any of this resonates with you. you  need to know that  though it is  a hard   i mean a very  hard place to be.  it is  never  worth running away  from your  problems. you  can  run but you can not  hide!! sometimes you  need to face the giants no matter how  hard  no matter how much you  do not  want to.  but it's  the  right thing to do.trust and believe. let God's  truth set you  free


elz

let's get to the heart of things

Dear Reader
 
   I have been many places and have been  going through alot.
Instead of  reaching out and  speaking out  and  saying i need  rescue In a  way i have been  running  away.  It  didn't  matter what anyone  said.  i was becoming 2 people.
  you  see  my personality is "let's  just  get to the heart of things" and  thats a  very  intense personality  for  pretty  much  everyone.  so I  have  given up  being the  real me. there is maybe  select  few that see  the  real me and then everyone else  i feel at times  like i have to be  this  person. live up to these  expectations.  be this person that people  will like.  you know  find an identity.  but no i  shut people out  i am  not  perfect. I  got to  focused on what i think i should look like to others that i  shut out  who i am.  my blogs  are  telling you the  real me.  there  is no  hiding there is no pretending.  i  can put  my heart into these  pages and  understand that  other's are  feeling the  same way. they  just need a  little  hope a little inspiration.
     In the past few weeks I have been  seeing sides of me that are not so fun. i have been  angry at  certain  leaders in the church.  I have picked up offenses that were never mine to pick up. i  have tryed  to deal  with it and the more i thought about certain issues the  more angry  i became. i  was full of fear. you  know what if i don't  deal  with these  area's  will  people really like me.  if  you  only  knew  what was going through my  mind.  I  have been selfish, blessed, overwhelmed, judgmental, prideful and way too stubborn. 
    you  see when you take on the world. it  gets to heavy to carry alone. to lonely  to face the real facts.  all these mixed  emotions  going through my head.  to   focused on myself and how i felt  to  notice that i was  not acting very christian like. come on  now  we are all guilty  of this.  we all have  struggles but we have got to gather enough strength to trust Jesus. he  is the only one to carry us through the storms of life.  he  loves us to much to  leave us the  same

so if you are reading this and you have lost your will  it's not to late to  get it back again. it's never to late to find  your way your  hope. but  you  have to be willing to reach out and ask for help in the days  when  life is caving in all around  you.I dare  you to get up and fight  for life!!!! take your  stand  be all that you can be and don't look back.


elz

you can run but you cannot hide

Dear Reader,

     how  many  times  have you  wanted to  just  scream out your frustrations. i mean a  full out  scream.  you  spend all this time  trying to figure out  what's  going on inside your  heart.  and when the  answers  don't  come you just run instead of  holding out  for the  bigger picture. you cave  in  instead of trusting  God.  you  receive  all this  advice  about  what you are  doing  wrong instead of  the  facts.

      I  can't say for  sure  this is  what job  must of felt. i mean  everything  was  taken  from him yet his heart remained  faithful to God.  his  friends  tried to talk him out of his place.  they  must of thought they were right or  something.  I  mean  when you face difficult  situations you  trust your  friends  to  speak words of life  to you.and  then they offer there  opinions makes  you want to scream even more  depends on the circumstance however.  usually  you  want to scream  cause  you  are having an  attitude about  something  silly,but to you  it's  the most  serious  deal ever. whether they are right or wrong  in your  mind  you  only  hear  what you want to hear.  Going  back to job.  he trusted God over his  friends and  he  was  blessed  way more. think about it! when we  fix our  eyes on the things of  man we fall. but when we trust the creator of  heaven and earth we  find  peace even in the  difficult  situations of life.
   Right  now i am  having a  really bad attitude towards  some very specific people in my life. I've been praying and praying Jesus make my heart right. and my heart feels  even more heavier.  I keep having in a way little  tantrums in my mind.  If there is  peace why can't I  feel it  right now is what i keep asking.  Jesus is  always there  maybe the facts  are i have allowed my heart to take on silly offenses and until i deal  then my heart shall remain heavy.  
maybe  like me  you  have  picked up little offenses and until you  take time to deal  with them/ and make sure  when you do deal with them that your  heart  motives are right if not you  will speak out of hurt and anger.  nothing will get solved and you will be more  angry then  when you started. I don't  have any  more answers  for  this at  the moment  except  i  do not enjoy  this  little  attitude  i have towards these  people.  in my  mind i am right but  when it comes to offense  you  need to suck it up no matter how hard it is.and  believe  me it's  easier  said then done.  my  flesh doesn't  want to  suck it up but  my spirit knows that  I need to deal with things.  letting  go of  an offense is  not  in a way  giving up.  it's  humbling  yourself  enough to say  I AM WRONG!!!!!! when it  comes  down to it. if you  don't  deal with the  an offense you  really  just  run away instead of deal with the  situation. there are times  you  really  don't  want to deal with it, it  is to hard.
 Suck  it  up  princess  and  deal  with the issues  at heart before it gets  worse.  (I know this is a little more harsh but it's what needs to be said.)
 this time i have to follow  my own  advice.  even though i don't  want to!!!


elz

  

legacy set before us

                  Dear Reader,Inspired by my grandma and  Mr  Wallace McNee
you  know the days  where  life passes  by  so slow or  so it seems. I am  sitting here at  work in this moment.  i  have  a heart of  compassion for  the  things  of  old.  you  may  ask  what are the things of  old.  they are  the  moments  we  treasure the  days  that pass by and  memories  left  behind. it is now  yes  now in this  moment that i  realize  what it's  like  to have a heart of thankfulness.
  For just a  few  moments  ago i had a older  gentle men in here  at Gerber's or  at  work (for those  who don't  know  what Gerber's  is). His  name   Wallace McNee what a  perfect  detective name (anyone  else agree?) as we  talked  my heart began to fill with compassion. you  see for most  of us  we  are so busy living our  lives for now. but once we retire and  are  stuck in the nursing home.  there is  a  sense at times of  feeling  trapped. feeling  caged in  now  not always  for everyone. but for those of  us  that are adventurous at heart. we like to  get out  we like to try new things.the  very  thought of  been  kept inside  all day every  day  DOES NOT EXCITE ME.  you  see  if  it's  one thing i know doesn't  matter  how young  or  how old  we are.  we all  want our  personal  freedom. no one likes  to feel lost  and  alone.  
  I used to work at a nursing home and  you  see  so many  people  almost forgotten about.  I  wasn't  really  allowed to connect  with  the  residents. but  how can you not!  how can you  just  ignore the  fact  that some have  absolutely  no one  left.  that breaks my heart. I  mean i am just one  person but I  have  the  chance to reach out  to young and old am I  taking that chance to  give the  old a  hope  again. maybe they  just  need  hope  today to?  maybe they need us to reach out.  i know  for most  we think  what can we possibly offer.  our  FRIENDSHIP is  enough. Our  making time for them is enough.
  I know I am guilty of not making time for the  elderly! maybe  today we can rise to the challenge.  maybe we can offer  hope where hope feels distant to  so many.
   you  see  i have 2  great  grandmother left. and  1 Grandmother  left. my Grandmother  has  alzhiemers, she  doesn't even  know who I am  anymore.  not going to lie that's very  hard to  chew on at times. lately i've  really  missed  having a  chance to  connect with my Grandma.  there is  so much that I want to talk to my Grandma about.  I  see alot me in her.  my  grandma's ministry  is  my deepest  hearts desire. i want to  counsel and  bring hope to those that have no hope. i know that i have a strong  prophetic touch  as  did  my grandma.  the dreams written upon my heart are  things  that my Grandma  started.I  am going to carry on her legacy.  I am going to set those who think they are right  straight. I  am going to have a counsel upon my mouth that  will speak into alot of  people's live.My  grandma  must  have  been praying for me  along time.  Cause  i have teaching qualities just like her. don't  grow  old  thinking that  you  have  nothing to offer.  for  what  God has placed upon the tablets of our  hearts is  no mistake.  we are  called to be  so much more.
  So today  I  will  conclude with a  small prayer  to all the  Grandparents out there that have believed in our  generation  that have  set a legacy  for us to carry out,
 Jesus  thank you  for the  Grandparents that you  purposefully placed in our lives.  and all the older  influences in our lives. may  you  bless them and and answer there prayers.
love you  Grandma 


elz

patriots vs loyalists

So i  don't  know to much about war things   my  brother  is  the  war  expert  well in my opinion he is.  the other night i was  watching a movie called  felicity and  it was  about loyalists and  patriots.  now   to break it  down in to  simple terms  patriots were  fighting for Independence and  freedom and  the loyalists  stood by the king.  (any  war guys  out there can correct me if I'm wrong) anyways  there are  2 sides which  side is right?
   the patriots wanted to  stand up against the king.  i don't know that  either or  are  exactly  wrong.  just thinking  about it.  
     patriots  wanted there freedom the will to fight.  nothing  would  take that from them  they were passionate  about  what they stood  for.  take for example our believes. I  am a strong  believer.  and I  won't let anyone  talk me out of my place. God made me  so uniquely and purposefully.
    Now  take the loyalists.  they are also feel very about what they believe.  they  believe  they are  right. they  are faithful  and loyal to the  leaders. they  will  stand up strong and keep there  guard up.  
    you  take both  sides and they  both are raising up an army.  if they  joined  forces think about the army.  think about the unity the strength. yet the  patriots and  the loyalists are  to  full of  pride to  stuck in there ways to  see that if they worked together maybe just  maybe there could  be  a  peace.  can you imagine this?? I  mean a  real peace. none  of this  choosing  sides  business.  but reality  kicks in!! maybe you are out there and you need  peace in your  life.  but everything in life is  going down hill.  your  joy is  gone. your  life is  full of  anxiety and  full of  pride. today   I  want to  tell you  that you  can find a  peace you can  join forces.  stand up strong and  receive  this  freedom that  seems  so distant.


elz