Dear Reader,
OK so think about the hardest time in your life... how did you react? how did you respond?
On Wednesday night there was a bad storm watch for tornadoes and where i live I'm in the top apartment. i have never had to deal with a bad storm by myself before. i felt like a little girl scared and frightened. I know kind of funny but it was serious to me. I was by myself and needed comfort in the storm. So i started to text people and listen to Odyssey Cd's. you see when the storms are close at hand where do you find your comfort?
Just yesterday i was talking to my dad. a couple weeks ago and he had surgery on his back. there was a lump. Yesterday the results came back and turns out my dad has Cancer. i mean talk about scary. how do you respond/react to that? I mean you hear of other people dealing with cancer but you don't realize how scary it is till it hits home and too someone close to you. I have to admit I just started opening up to dad. i actually started to want my dad to be part of my life. now I'm not saying i never had a relationship with dad. i just never took the time to open up and make my dad part of my life that often growing up.
Maybe you are like me and you don't know how to deal with the storms and the hard times in your life. maybe for you it's a different circumstance and you have hidden yourself away from everyone.You may be facing some of the toughest times in your life and you are too afraid to let anyone in.you try to run from the storms but they follow you and there is no escape for you.WRONG where there is a will there is a way. no matter what you face no there is a hope there is a way. sometimes you have to just trust someone . let someone in. know you are not alone. you don't have to be afraid whatever you face.
Don’t talk about your circumstances as if they will never
change. Confess every day that you are expecting something good to happen in you, to you and through you! –Joyce
elz
Friday, 26 August 2011
Thursday, 25 August 2011
love that reaches the sky
Dear Reader,
have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't see the truth? you had a blind eye!!!!
When I was 19 years old i thought i fell in love with a guy over the Internet. he was tall dark and handsome. of course it took me awhile to really see true colors when i say a while i mean 2 or 3 years.Crazy how your heart tells you that you love when in fact you are only falling for a conception of love!!!!! anyways this guy used all the right words. he spoke words that i thought i needed to hear. you ever met this kind of guy. you ever get fooled into loving this image of love? this false identity. this guy told me he was a christian. any ways he left no word nothing from him in 2 years. though he was gone i attached myself to him if that even makes sense. it was like i was left abandoned and I lost a piece of myself. this guy came back and told me this load of lies how he was attacked by armed robbers and that he needed money to see me. i didn't give him any obviously.
the moral of this story is when you start looking for love you might find it in all the wrong places. see i spent so much time shutting myself out to Gods love cause of insecurities cause. i thought if i acted a certain way guys would like me more. maybe you are in that place right now reader, and you feel like you could never be loved. your life is full of shame and full of rejection. maybe you have abandonment issues and you don't know how to reach out for love. you have shoved the thought the dream that you could ever be loved. so you have become cold and are shut down inside. today this story is for you. today you need to know how much you are forgiven and that you are loved. i know that it's very hard to receive that. but it's the simple truth young girl it doesn't matter what happened yesterday today is a new day and you are so worth it. you are so beyond valuable. don't lose heart take courage again. let love in let God in. Let hope arise deep within you. there is a reason that you are here today. you are not forgotten. you are not forgotten. so get up stand up where you are at.
young person, there is a love deeper then anything that you have ever experienced. even I have a hard time receiving love at times. we all need to know that we are worth living for we are worth it. so know that you are not alone where you stand today.
elz
have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't see the truth? you had a blind eye!!!!
When I was 19 years old i thought i fell in love with a guy over the Internet. he was tall dark and handsome. of course it took me awhile to really see true colors when i say a while i mean 2 or 3 years.Crazy how your heart tells you that you love when in fact you are only falling for a conception of love!!!!! anyways this guy used all the right words. he spoke words that i thought i needed to hear. you ever met this kind of guy. you ever get fooled into loving this image of love? this false identity. this guy told me he was a christian. any ways he left no word nothing from him in 2 years. though he was gone i attached myself to him if that even makes sense. it was like i was left abandoned and I lost a piece of myself. this guy came back and told me this load of lies how he was attacked by armed robbers and that he needed money to see me. i didn't give him any obviously.
the moral of this story is when you start looking for love you might find it in all the wrong places. see i spent so much time shutting myself out to Gods love cause of insecurities cause. i thought if i acted a certain way guys would like me more. maybe you are in that place right now reader, and you feel like you could never be loved. your life is full of shame and full of rejection. maybe you have abandonment issues and you don't know how to reach out for love. you have shoved the thought the dream that you could ever be loved. so you have become cold and are shut down inside. today this story is for you. today you need to know how much you are forgiven and that you are loved. i know that it's very hard to receive that. but it's the simple truth young girl it doesn't matter what happened yesterday today is a new day and you are so worth it. you are so beyond valuable. don't lose heart take courage again. let love in let God in. Let hope arise deep within you. there is a reason that you are here today. you are not forgotten. you are not forgotten. so get up stand up where you are at.
young person, there is a love deeper then anything that you have ever experienced. even I have a hard time receiving love at times. we all need to know that we are worth living for we are worth it. so know that you are not alone where you stand today.
elz
Saturday, 20 August 2011
inadequacy of the heart
Dear Reader
Have you ever felt like you just don't fit?
On Wednesday last week i was playing the keyboard at tribe and it was a sudden discouragement that overwhelmed me. i know how to play my instrument but the connector box would cut out so i couldn't here the worship leaders. my timing was so off. and the more i played the worse i felt. like why am i here this feeling of complete unworthiness overwhelmed me. when worship was over i truly went to the washroom as tears were about to flow out of me. it was in the moment that i truly wanted to hide. i wanted to leave church but my friend Amanda told me that when we don't want to be there that's when we most need to be there. so i went in to listen as Paul oxby spoke a simple message. the words i walked in to were.... "sometimes we just want to run and hide from God." how true those very words were to the depths of my heart.
I mean why does the simple truth seem to hurt so much sometimes?
many times in life i have had some very difficult moments and i just wanted to give up. i felt unworthy and not good enough for anyone. it was this thing called fear.did you know the bible says that perfect love casts out fear. what is perfect love anyways i often think and i know if you are out there reading this you may be thinking the very thing. truth is perfect love comes from God alone.as humans we can't fathom the love of god our father. when we are going through trials and tribulations bet we aren't thinking about how much God loves us. we are thinking about how much value we are we aren't thinking that we are worth anything in fact we think the opposite.
Even today when i walked into work honestly i just wanted to be left alone and have a cry to myself. but the tears just won't come. so I go back to what is comfortable i just want to hide myself away so no one can see the insecurities that try to over take me. in fact honestly it's hard to be comfortable in my own skin sometimes.believe it or not i have a lot of insecurities. and every day is a struggle to gather the confidence to be me. i know that's hard to believe. but i know that as girls we struggle with the same being confident, actually loving ourselves. i mean how can we love ourselves when we focus on ALL our flaws. we spend more time trying to live up to the expectations of other's. why do we make it so hard for ourselves anyways??why can't we see ourselves in all confidence. we are victorious we are beautiful we are diamonds in the rough. we are not mistakes. every time we speak negative against ourselves we are saying God you don't know what you are doing. you only make mistakes.
young woman where ever you are at. maybe like me you are overwhelmed by insecurities deep and you are so tired of feeling like you just don't fit. like you are good enough. you are tired of feeling like you aren't worthy. today where you stand i want to tell you that you are.I wrote this song for a dear friend and it healed her where she was at. and i know that it will heal you as well if you will let it...
how beautiful you are
verse 1:
when you feel like you're inadequate, look at the horizons. do you see who you've been? look above arise in love, you are worthy, oh yes you are!
Chorus:
how beautiful you are, like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove, innocent and kind.
Verse 2:
you've been standing at the edge, standing waiting hold close, you just want to trust again, you're a light in the darkness hold on.
Bridge:
just be yourself he will lift you up, just be yourself he'll make you strong enough, make you strong enough, so just be yourself he will lift you up.
Chorus again
how beautiful you are. like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove. beautiful and kind.
today be encouraged you are worth it!!!!!
daughter you are most beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.
song of songs 4:7
elz
Have you ever felt like you just don't fit?
On Wednesday last week i was playing the keyboard at tribe and it was a sudden discouragement that overwhelmed me. i know how to play my instrument but the connector box would cut out so i couldn't here the worship leaders. my timing was so off. and the more i played the worse i felt. like why am i here this feeling of complete unworthiness overwhelmed me. when worship was over i truly went to the washroom as tears were about to flow out of me. it was in the moment that i truly wanted to hide. i wanted to leave church but my friend Amanda told me that when we don't want to be there that's when we most need to be there. so i went in to listen as Paul oxby spoke a simple message. the words i walked in to were.... "sometimes we just want to run and hide from God." how true those very words were to the depths of my heart.
I mean why does the simple truth seem to hurt so much sometimes?
many times in life i have had some very difficult moments and i just wanted to give up. i felt unworthy and not good enough for anyone. it was this thing called fear.did you know the bible says that perfect love casts out fear. what is perfect love anyways i often think and i know if you are out there reading this you may be thinking the very thing. truth is perfect love comes from God alone.as humans we can't fathom the love of god our father. when we are going through trials and tribulations bet we aren't thinking about how much God loves us. we are thinking about how much value we are we aren't thinking that we are worth anything in fact we think the opposite.
Even today when i walked into work honestly i just wanted to be left alone and have a cry to myself. but the tears just won't come. so I go back to what is comfortable i just want to hide myself away so no one can see the insecurities that try to over take me. in fact honestly it's hard to be comfortable in my own skin sometimes.believe it or not i have a lot of insecurities. and every day is a struggle to gather the confidence to be me. i know that's hard to believe. but i know that as girls we struggle with the same being confident, actually loving ourselves. i mean how can we love ourselves when we focus on ALL our flaws. we spend more time trying to live up to the expectations of other's. why do we make it so hard for ourselves anyways??why can't we see ourselves in all confidence. we are victorious we are beautiful we are diamonds in the rough. we are not mistakes. every time we speak negative against ourselves we are saying God you don't know what you are doing. you only make mistakes.
young woman where ever you are at. maybe like me you are overwhelmed by insecurities deep and you are so tired of feeling like you just don't fit. like you are good enough. you are tired of feeling like you aren't worthy. today where you stand i want to tell you that you are.I wrote this song for a dear friend and it healed her where she was at. and i know that it will heal you as well if you will let it...
how beautiful you are
verse 1:
when you feel like you're inadequate, look at the horizons. do you see who you've been? look above arise in love, you are worthy, oh yes you are!
Chorus:
how beautiful you are, like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove, innocent and kind.
Verse 2:
you've been standing at the edge, standing waiting hold close, you just want to trust again, you're a light in the darkness hold on.
Bridge:
just be yourself he will lift you up, just be yourself he'll make you strong enough, make you strong enough, so just be yourself he will lift you up.
Chorus again
how beautiful you are. like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove. beautiful and kind.
today be encouraged you are worth it!!!!!
daughter you are most beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.
song of songs 4:7
elz
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
simple truths
Dear Reader,
let me take a few minutes to write you a simple truth.....
How many times have you been bullied. pushed around maybe verbally physically or other.if you are like me i have this little thing called "passivity" kick in. I don't want to hurt anyone so i don't always speak up...
Today I would like to write about stepping up and taking authority in culture's sinking sands. we have AUTHORITY. maybe you struggle with "Authority" I know we all have at least once in our lives. it's part of growing pains...anyways here it is in simple truth....
I bet you don't think you are good enough to speak up. to speak out. you see i was caught in that lie for years. in fact those that know me will not believe what I'm about to tell you........ before I started at crossroads i had this thing with whispering and mumbling. i was bullied and had no sense of confidence. so when you talked to me I would just speak so quiet that you couldn't understand me or not at all.
I truly believe that in order to speak in authority you have a confidence . an inner strength that doesn't come from you.
Maybe for you it's a matter of trust issues all your bridges have been burned. and you find it hard to speak... now don't get me wrong here... there is a time an a place to speak out. there is a few things to consider before you speak up.....
1. make sure your motives are right...Never speak out of anger
2. speak truth with love.... don't assume you know it all till you hear all sides.
3. build the person up with exhortation afterwards..... with criticism there can be offense.... we Want to try to AVOID offense.
4. think about how you would want to here the truth.... then put yourself in that person's shoes.
proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
so today if you run into a situation and you need to confront someone. think about these simple truth's.
may God use you and bless you and give you wisdom to know when to speak and know when not to speak.
Elz
let me take a few minutes to write you a simple truth.....
How many times have you been bullied. pushed around maybe verbally physically or other.if you are like me i have this little thing called "passivity" kick in. I don't want to hurt anyone so i don't always speak up...
Today I would like to write about stepping up and taking authority in culture's sinking sands. we have AUTHORITY. maybe you struggle with "Authority" I know we all have at least once in our lives. it's part of growing pains...anyways here it is in simple truth....
I bet you don't think you are good enough to speak up. to speak out. you see i was caught in that lie for years. in fact those that know me will not believe what I'm about to tell you........ before I started at crossroads i had this thing with whispering and mumbling. i was bullied and had no sense of confidence. so when you talked to me I would just speak so quiet that you couldn't understand me or not at all.
I truly believe that in order to speak in authority you have a confidence . an inner strength that doesn't come from you.
Maybe for you it's a matter of trust issues all your bridges have been burned. and you find it hard to speak... now don't get me wrong here... there is a time an a place to speak out. there is a few things to consider before you speak up.....
2. speak truth with love.... don't assume you know it all till you hear all sides.
3. build the person up with exhortation afterwards..... with criticism there can be offense.... we Want to try to AVOID offense.
4. think about how you would want to here the truth.... then put yourself in that person's shoes.
proverbs 15:1 says a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.
so today if you run into a situation and you need to confront someone. think about these simple truth's.
may God use you and bless you and give you wisdom to know when to speak and know when not to speak.
Elz
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
hiding places
Dear Reader,
we have all played hide and go seek. the concept you have one person seeking and then you have your hiders. you always look and search for the most ultimate hiding place right? if i was shorter i'd so call dibs on the dryer!! ok that's a little silly i admit!!.
How many times do we run and hide and we wait to be found. we wait for there to be a purpose in our lives. we dare to dream bigger because we get hidden behind insecurities. thinking maybe if we run and hide will there be anyone to find me in the darkest, most lonely places.i know when im the most insecure i tend to hide in a little shell. why do we hide behind walls hide in the storms are we really that afraid to be found? I'd like to think that I have it all figured out but truth is I don't have a clue where i'm going in life but i do know this if I don't get out of hiding i'll be stuck and too afraid to get out and live life for God.
Just maybe life is really hard today and it's much easiar to bury yourself then to reveal yourself. i spent so many years hidden by fear of what will become. or insecurities thinking am I really worth it. I don't know when God changed me exactly because everyday i live is a day he changes me. if you think about if we were always the same how much fun would this world be BORING. so today i dare you to get up and get out of your little shell. live life with purpose with passion. be the best you that you can be. don't let fear hold you back from your greatest victories. maybe you need to reach out and let someone find you. will you let god seek you out where you are at?. He wants to be the seek you where you are. the cool part is it's never too late to step out in faith and come out of hiding.
let this be my prayer for you today reader where ever you are..
may you allow God to find you and capture you in his loving arms embrace. may you let freedom come. may you reach out desperate for the greatest adventure you ever live. may God bless you beyond all measure. may you find peace in every circumstance that you face.
elz
we have all played hide and go seek. the concept you have one person seeking and then you have your hiders. you always look and search for the most ultimate hiding place right? if i was shorter i'd so call dibs on the dryer!! ok that's a little silly i admit!!.
How many times do we run and hide and we wait to be found. we wait for there to be a purpose in our lives. we dare to dream bigger because we get hidden behind insecurities. thinking maybe if we run and hide will there be anyone to find me in the darkest, most lonely places.i know when im the most insecure i tend to hide in a little shell. why do we hide behind walls hide in the storms are we really that afraid to be found? I'd like to think that I have it all figured out but truth is I don't have a clue where i'm going in life but i do know this if I don't get out of hiding i'll be stuck and too afraid to get out and live life for God.
Just maybe life is really hard today and it's much easiar to bury yourself then to reveal yourself. i spent so many years hidden by fear of what will become. or insecurities thinking am I really worth it. I don't know when God changed me exactly because everyday i live is a day he changes me. if you think about if we were always the same how much fun would this world be BORING. so today i dare you to get up and get out of your little shell. live life with purpose with passion. be the best you that you can be. don't let fear hold you back from your greatest victories. maybe you need to reach out and let someone find you. will you let god seek you out where you are at?. He wants to be the seek you where you are. the cool part is it's never too late to step out in faith and come out of hiding.
let this be my prayer for you today reader where ever you are..
may you allow God to find you and capture you in his loving arms embrace. may you let freedom come. may you reach out desperate for the greatest adventure you ever live. may God bless you beyond all measure. may you find peace in every circumstance that you face.
elz
Monday, 15 August 2011
the rescuer down under
reader,
OK here it is the adventure of your life time and you get caught up in the storms of life!!!thinking overtakes you to new horizons new adventures at times dark places we don't want to go there...
I keep thinking of shrek and princess Fiona. i mean the first movie. we have shrek the ogre and this beautiful fairy tale princess but what we don't know at first is shes under a spell. . so we all know that shrek had to fight to win her heart she is this spunky fighter singing princess. but i kinda think there was a story inside the story....
did princess PREPARE for her rescuer. I'm sure that she had a plan. and an image how she would be rescued by a hansom prince.. not to say shrek doesn't have hero and rescue qualities. shrek is this big ogre he probably smells.and has issues kinda the under dog i mean the last pick to be the rescuer down under...
OK where am i going with this you may ask. how many times do we think we are too small or not good enough to reach out when someone needs saving.you see it doesn't mater how young or how old you are. God doesn't make mistakes. he handpicked you personally to do big things but it's up to us what we will do. we could sick back in a slump and our normal routine of a life and never step out in courage. i mean how scary is that really getting past your circumstances and having enough courage to get out of your routine.
think of shrek he was not happy to get out of his perfectly mundane world. he had more strength and not just cause of his nasty temper. but you see he took his circumstances and took courage, he not only went on a journey for him he fell in love in the meanwhile.
so you never know what will happen if you will just step out in courage today. maybe like shrek you will find yourself and maybe true love will come as well. but you need to get up and stand strong.
Joshua 1:9
Do not be afraid but be strong and very courageous for the lord your God is with you where ever you go.
so step out in faith and start a new adventure. i know for some it's not exactly easy.
I keep thinking of shrek and princess Fiona. i mean the first movie. we have shrek the ogre and this beautiful fairy tale princess but what we don't know at first is shes under a spell. . so we all know that shrek had to fight to win her heart she is this spunky fighter singing princess. but i kinda think there was a story inside the story....
did princess PREPARE for her rescuer. I'm sure that she had a plan. and an image how she would be rescued by a hansom prince.. not to say shrek doesn't have hero and rescue qualities. shrek is this big ogre he probably smells.and has issues kinda the under dog i mean the last pick to be the rescuer down under...
OK where am i going with this you may ask. how many times do we think we are too small or not good enough to reach out when someone needs saving.you see it doesn't mater how young or how old you are. God doesn't make mistakes. he handpicked you personally to do big things but it's up to us what we will do. we could sick back in a slump and our normal routine of a life and never step out in courage. i mean how scary is that really getting past your circumstances and having enough courage to get out of your routine.
think of shrek he was not happy to get out of his perfectly mundane world. he had more strength and not just cause of his nasty temper. but you see he took his circumstances and took courage, he not only went on a journey for him he fell in love in the meanwhile.
so you never know what will happen if you will just step out in courage today. maybe like shrek you will find yourself and maybe true love will come as well. but you need to get up and stand strong.
Joshua 1:9
Do not be afraid but be strong and very courageous for the lord your God is with you where ever you go.
so step out in faith and start a new adventure. i know for some it's not exactly easy.
Friday, 12 August 2011
hero's they do come to your rescue!!!
Dear Reader
when i was like 5 years old i used to go this christian camp up north called linger long lodge. every night there was a garbage run and then the kids would go back and explore the beaver dam. any sort of curiosity would peak the sense of adventure in the young boys. being i was alot younger then most i wanted to join the adventure as well you know how younger sisters want to be just like there older brother OK maybe it's just me anyways. one night there was a young guy and i and we were going for a walk and the garbage pile was on fire well i ended up stepping in the fire and my foot got burned. this young guy rushed over to my rescue. he grabbed a stick so i could get my balance when i was too tired he picked me up and carried me the rest of the way. to the a frame where my mom and dad and grandma was there. he then waited to make sure i was going to be alright before he left. in my 5 year old eyes this guy saved my life he was my hero. OK so imagine if you will if a human guy could reach out for my rescue and save me in the moment how much more can God do? I mean God is huge he hears our every cry our every prayer our every tear. he wants to stay close by and love you today where ever you are know that there is a hero that wants to rescue you where your at. there is a love that can break every defense that you have ever built up. will you allow yourself to be rescued in the moment or will you stay in the pain and the brokenness.
may you have been so lost and afraid trying to reach out for help but feeling like there no one can see thru the hurt. maybe just maybe you feel alone so much and wish that just one person could reach out and see beyond the tear see beyond your insecurities and love you. cause where it stands you have been broken and lonely for so long and now you are getting tired of waiting for the right person.you feel so lost and abandoned just holding out but barely holding holding on to the dream of having someone love you and hold you. maybe you are one that has had true love come and go and now you're left crippled from the fears of rejection.
reader may you find peace that you are not alone in this. see now i am 25 and go through the same insecurities well what if I'm not good enough or you keep waiting but the rescuer has come and gone and you missed your rescue by a fraction maybe you are just fed up with all these romance ideas floating around cause you have lost the hope to love. your heart has been broken to much and you want to let someone in but it's just to hard.too hard to actually let anyone love you. for you feel like you have nothing left you offer. you are feeling completely abandoned where you are at.it comes down to trusting someone enough to love you. you can trust young one. it won't always be easy but it's worth taking the risk to trust again.
elz
may you have been so lost and afraid trying to reach out for help but feeling like there no one can see thru the hurt. maybe just maybe you feel alone so much and wish that just one person could reach out and see beyond the tear see beyond your insecurities and love you. cause where it stands you have been broken and lonely for so long and now you are getting tired of waiting for the right person.you feel so lost and abandoned just holding out but barely holding holding on to the dream of having someone love you and hold you. maybe you are one that has had true love come and go and now you're left crippled from the fears of rejection.
reader may you find peace that you are not alone in this. see now i am 25 and go through the same insecurities well what if I'm not good enough or you keep waiting but the rescuer has come and gone and you missed your rescue by a fraction maybe you are just fed up with all these romance ideas floating around cause you have lost the hope to love. your heart has been broken to much and you want to let someone in but it's just to hard.too hard to actually let anyone love you. for you feel like you have nothing left you offer. you are feeling completely abandoned where you are at.it comes down to trusting someone enough to love you. you can trust young one. it won't always be easy but it's worth taking the risk to trust again.
elz
Thursday, 11 August 2011
breaking soul ties!
alright this one is very dear to my heart.......
have you ever loved someone so much and the timing was always wrong? you liked them and they didn't like you and vise versa!! i'd like to say this kind of thing happens all the time.
when I was 17 i met a guy at a christian conference and a smile that could light up a football satdium. eyes that shined brighter then the sunlight. a young man of great strength and charistma. he is spanish and sweet well my 17 year old emotions thought that. i would say he was the very first love. you know when you get in that "in love phase" there's no changing your mind. how many know what i'm talking about? anyways absalon is his name and being he was my first true love it's been next to the hardest emotional aka soul tie for me. (soul tie is holding onto something you need to let go but you can't) confusing or what? OK so going back to absalon when I first realized that i was "in love" with ab I told myself he must be the one the one my heart has been waiting for. so i determined not to love anyone else and wait for absalon to tell me that he felt the same and those words never came from ab! it was in a sense me making something that wasn't real. how many of us fall for that assumption the "I love you and hope they might love you back phase".
for all these years of thinking i was in love with ab it has protected my heart from so much yet been such a hard reality. it's holding onto to what once was and having to let go of what is.
it's funny but i know now that I can't hold onto the past relationship. today is a new day and even if you are like me and facing the facts is really hard.
letting go and letting god. he is the only one who will love you and never let you down. his love lasts forever. you see letting go sometimes means surrender and saying God it's hard i trust you.
here's my attempt again letting go and trusting god enough to love me even when I'm difficult loving me when I'm sad when I'm happy. etc.
have you ever loved someone so much and the timing was always wrong? you liked them and they didn't like you and vise versa!! i'd like to say this kind of thing happens all the time.
when I was 17 i met a guy at a christian conference and a smile that could light up a football satdium. eyes that shined brighter then the sunlight. a young man of great strength and charistma. he is spanish and sweet well my 17 year old emotions thought that. i would say he was the very first love. you know when you get in that "in love phase" there's no changing your mind. how many know what i'm talking about? anyways absalon is his name and being he was my first true love it's been next to the hardest emotional aka soul tie for me. (soul tie is holding onto something you need to let go but you can't) confusing or what? OK so going back to absalon when I first realized that i was "in love" with ab I told myself he must be the one the one my heart has been waiting for. so i determined not to love anyone else and wait for absalon to tell me that he felt the same and those words never came from ab! it was in a sense me making something that wasn't real. how many of us fall for that assumption the "I love you and hope they might love you back phase".
for all these years of thinking i was in love with ab it has protected my heart from so much yet been such a hard reality. it's holding onto to what once was and having to let go of what is.
it's funny but i know now that I can't hold onto the past relationship. today is a new day and even if you are like me and facing the facts is really hard.
letting go and letting god. he is the only one who will love you and never let you down. his love lasts forever. you see letting go sometimes means surrender and saying God it's hard i trust you.
here's my attempt again letting go and trusting god enough to love me even when I'm difficult loving me when I'm sad when I'm happy. etc.
dry times in the desert!
Dear Reader,
So I'm going to write hot off the press sort to speak! I can't say i understand what I'm going through at the moment. just know every now and then a little feeling of discouragement overwhelms me. it's like i could cry and cry and cry in a moment then I'm happy.
so to explain this i have to write/talk it out so just bare with me if you will.....
there is a point in all our walks that we get knocked down. sometimes it's easy to stand up and fight. and other times it feels like you are on constantly sitting on the lines of defeat.but if you are like me i don't enjoy reading so getting daily devotions into me isn't always easy. i think that the source of my struggles come from lack of devotions with God. you might think it's crazy but it's the simple truth. when you get the word in you things in your life begin to change. so maybe you are out there reader and you can't sit down long enough or just quiet your spirit down enough to read Gods word today.
our walk is like the waves out on the sea, when life is good we are all smooth sailing but when the storms and hurts of yesterday's come its next to impossible to make it out. the waves come crashing hard against the rocks of your emotions,you want to cry from the loneliness that never seems to leave. your heart hurts from broken heart. you are struggling to just make it through and you are barely holding on. when all of a sudden you see the sun it's your glimpse of hope and gives you reason to keep going on in the moment.
maybe like me your rescue is as simple as an encouraging word.a loving gesture. i know many times I've been here in the desert longing for someone to see right through my brokenness, someone to reach out for rescue.
i remember i had a dream once i was by myself near a waterfall crying there in the dark when a young guy came behind me and reached out. he asked me what was wrong and i just kept crying. the tears of my heart were crying out for rescue. as he sat there beside and waited for my tears to fall. i calmed down enough let his gentle words hit me. i can't remember what he said exactly but it was what i needed to hear.
sometimes we are at the bottom in life and we need a glimpse of hope a reason to keep going on. all i can say is don't give up keep your head high for God has nothing but good plans for you,
when you are going through the hardest times in your life it's hard to believe that there can actually be a hope but trust me there is. sometimes putting someone before you helps you look past your problems and you begin to see that life is not always just about you.
I bet if you took the time to read your bible that things that seem so hard now would soon dissipate or disappear. your worries your fears wouldn't be so strong. so go on i dare you to read the bible. cause you got so much to offer someone and maybe what you are going through just maybe the bible has stories and lessons in it that happened long ago that can help you.
elz
So I'm going to write hot off the press sort to speak! I can't say i understand what I'm going through at the moment. just know every now and then a little feeling of discouragement overwhelms me. it's like i could cry and cry and cry in a moment then I'm happy.
so to explain this i have to write/talk it out so just bare with me if you will.....
there is a point in all our walks that we get knocked down. sometimes it's easy to stand up and fight. and other times it feels like you are on constantly sitting on the lines of defeat.but if you are like me i don't enjoy reading so getting daily devotions into me isn't always easy. i think that the source of my struggles come from lack of devotions with God. you might think it's crazy but it's the simple truth. when you get the word in you things in your life begin to change. so maybe you are out there reader and you can't sit down long enough or just quiet your spirit down enough to read Gods word today.
our walk is like the waves out on the sea, when life is good we are all smooth sailing but when the storms and hurts of yesterday's come its next to impossible to make it out. the waves come crashing hard against the rocks of your emotions,you want to cry from the loneliness that never seems to leave. your heart hurts from broken heart. you are struggling to just make it through and you are barely holding on. when all of a sudden you see the sun it's your glimpse of hope and gives you reason to keep going on in the moment.
maybe like me your rescue is as simple as an encouraging word.a loving gesture. i know many times I've been here in the desert longing for someone to see right through my brokenness, someone to reach out for rescue.
i remember i had a dream once i was by myself near a waterfall crying there in the dark when a young guy came behind me and reached out. he asked me what was wrong and i just kept crying. the tears of my heart were crying out for rescue. as he sat there beside and waited for my tears to fall. i calmed down enough let his gentle words hit me. i can't remember what he said exactly but it was what i needed to hear.
sometimes we are at the bottom in life and we need a glimpse of hope a reason to keep going on. all i can say is don't give up keep your head high for God has nothing but good plans for you,
when you are going through the hardest times in your life it's hard to believe that there can actually be a hope but trust me there is. sometimes putting someone before you helps you look past your problems and you begin to see that life is not always just about you.
I bet if you took the time to read your bible that things that seem so hard now would soon dissipate or disappear. your worries your fears wouldn't be so strong. so go on i dare you to read the bible. cause you got so much to offer someone and maybe what you are going through just maybe the bible has stories and lessons in it that happened long ago that can help you.
elz
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)