Thursday, 23 February 2012

not another valentines day

Dear Reader
     OK i know valentines day is  now come and gone  for this  year  any ways.  this  is a message that i  feel  i need to  speak to all of us  in relationships and all of us  that are single.  ill  share a few of my hardships. and a then  how God brings us  out, now you might  not like what you read... but let's  just be real for  a few moments.
 OK  last  night my brother Aaron spoke on relationships he  shared about how  when he was younger he would  dominate in hide and seek.  my sister and i could never find him.he always  had the  best places. this  one  day  he  decided to  hide in the dryer. as soon as he shut the door it was all dark and there was no light. he was a little uncomfortable  so he  decided to move a little. as he did  the dryer started to spin  he had a panic attack.  he  screamed  HELP ME. then i think i was the one who found him as soon as i opened that door  light appeared again.he  knew he was safe that he wasn't  stuck in the moment of darkness.  if  you  allow  the  darkness in  it  will  destroy your relationship.  let me  pain for you  what  darkness  looks like  using  something  i have just gone  through in the past  2 years.  this is something that  doesn't  come easy for me.  but i feel that  these  words will be just  enough to  bring light to those in the darkness right now. 
     Every relationship will either bring us closer or farther away from God.recently i fell  from  God nothing over  night it was kind of  this  gradual thing  happening.  it  started  from an  offence  that i was too  stubborn to  deal with. so  i turned to  guys and not God.  i haven't trusted many  because i haven't let God in  enough to take away  the  hardest places in  my  heart.  see i thought  that  guys would fill  this great  emptiness and void in my life.  in  1 week i lost  my way and  got  intimate with 2 different guys. neither of them talk to me again. so  for the past while i have been  struggling with why God? whats wrong with me i knew i was wrong but i seriously got so tired of being this good christian all the time.  truth is relationships in the dating sense will never fill you up only God can.I can tell you that  losing myself was never worth it. i tried  to run  and hide but i couldn't i thought about this god sees all and knows all.  every single  mistake and  screw up i have ever made and will  make he sees. I was never meant to  run from but run to Gods arms of grace.
    truth  is  i have  screwed many times and I'm sure ill  screw up again.  but i have  a  God who loves me no matter what. "Don't  part yourself with someone who pollutes you. when you date a guy/girl that doesn't believe  in God. it's going to be like going to war with your values. 
   I don't know where  you are at  right now.  maybe you are  beyond hu5rt and broken your world is crashing on in the inside.maybe  your  walk with God is barely  there. you place a brave face on  and  act  so strong but  inside there  is  huge  turmoil on  you  know where  you are at. you  know what  you face.  good news  so  does  God.
    you  are are loved you are so worth it. yes you you are worth it.  so  don't  give up now and don't give up on God he is worth  the  fight.  in the  darkest  of times only God can truly see you through. 
 i  know you  know this  and  get sick of hearing the  same thing.  but wait for Gods best for you. take the  time to  really enjoy  your  relationship  with God. because if your relationship with God is out of allignment your relationship with others will be too.  its a fact! do you  really  have to get  your  heart broken  just  to  realise how important God is in all  relationships.


elz

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