for some reason i am drawn to talking about really hard times. recently i have been running and hiding again and you would never know cause i wear this plastic smile. meanwhile inside i have been falling apart. and praying god please comfort me please break me free. I don't want to live like this any more. I don't want to be angry and broken inside. I just want more of God. yet there has been some walls built up in my life. walls of miss trust walls of the broken past. now don't get me wrong here my life has been great for the most part.
you hide from everyone and every day you wake up is another day you force another brave face. another pretend smile to get through the day. asking when will life ever come around. you blast your music loud. you drink the sorrows away you do whatever to try and forget the hurts that are slowly over taking you. you carry this heaviness where ever you go. and you try to say you are fine but in matter of fact you really aren't you begin to isolate the ones that love you. you begin to hide in this place that even you don't know where you are heading. inside you are screaming will anyone ever see the real me will anyone find me. you are waiting to be rescued. waiting to be found.
I am still here but day by day god is healing my heart one little step at a time. Michelle and i have this joke that Kari Kobe is our remedy music. for me I'd say more so tenth avenue north. pretty much every song of there's. by your side, healing begins, you are more, beloved its like every song God is singing his words to my heart. and with every tear drop that falls is a moment away to greater healing on my heart. now you might be thinking that's great for you but what about me? you see......
elz
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