identity crisis

Dear Reader,


   Last  night i had a  dream that i went to  college  and i couldn't  find  what  i was looking  for  but  for  some  reason  people  kept  finding me and  directing  me  all these  places.  it was as if  you  could  tell  i  didn't  belong  kind  of  like  you  can tell  a  country  folk from city folk. any ways it was  like  i was there but  not there  kind of the  person looking  inside of what could  be. you  know a  reflection of  who you really are.  I  am being  pulled by  2  guys  they bring  me  to a  shop  of  some sort and  i  knew that was not who i was i mean me  trying to  fix cars ha ha ha yeah right!!! that  is  not  who I  am.  (have you  ever  been placed somewhere  that  you can play the part but  it's  not your perfect fit.) once i left  that  place  i  started  going up to people and asking them for direction until i was pointed in the right direction. any ways so  as i was searching  for the right fit. i saw myself in this class at the college and when i got  up  everywhere around me was ice.  everybody turned to ice. there was only 2 people that didn't  turn  to ice me and the girl who made everything ice. as i touched  people they  turned  back  to normal again.  then i found  some friends. as i  observed  this one  girl  i  noticed that  her  identity  changed  ever  so rapidly one  moment she was  skinny beautiful  then she  changed  within seconds  she became this darker girl.  i knew that  i had to talk to her.  my sister  tried  to  talk but i told her no this is  for me to do not her. (you  know  that we all  have  specific  things  that  we need to  do  but sometimes  we  let  other's  do  it  for us  how  will  we  ever  learn?) as i  went up to this  girl  i  could tell  she  was about to burst either into  sobs or  anger.  i knew that i had to talk from the  heart.  I  can't  remember everything i said. i just  know  i  started to tell her that I could  see the  real her and she  didn't have to try to  be something she isn't. as i spoke  more words in love the  real heart  of this girl appeared.  at the end  of this conversation this  real beautiful girl came out  she wasn't  like anyone  ever  expected. she  was more timid and  insecure this girl always hiding behind masks.  her  identity  was lost.  yet  in that moment it was like the  lost  girl was found. the once lonely  now  thrived.  the  once proclaimed  "dumb or  not  smart enough girl" came  so  smart in who she  was.
  You see  for as long  as you are  trying to be  someone else  you  can never truly be you.(  it's  like  taking  a  baker  and making them fix a car.  see where i am going with this.  sometimes we are so  focused on fitting in that we  do the  opposite of  what  we are  really skilled in.  don't  be 30% of  what  other's want be 100% of who you are.  so what is your  reflection showing you today?  when you  look at yourself  who do you  see.  are you lonely, hurting, angry, disappointed,  discouraged, lost, afraid etc
  Do you  know that all those things are fed by lies of the enemy.  do you  know how valuable you are today  young man young woman, do you  know that you are  worth more then silver and gold? YEAH  YOU!  YOU ARE  SO WORTH IT. YOU BELONG. YOU  ARE PRECIOUS IN GOD'S SIGHT. YOU  ARE  MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH EACH  PASSING BREATH. 


Elz