Dear Reader
Have you ever felt like you just don't fit?
On Wednesday last week i was playing the keyboard at tribe and it was a sudden discouragement that overwhelmed me. i know how to play my instrument but the connector box would cut out so i couldn't here the worship leaders. my timing was so off. and the more i played the worse i felt. like why am i here this feeling of complete unworthiness overwhelmed me. when worship was over i truly went to the washroom as tears were about to flow out of me. it was in the moment that i truly wanted to hide. i wanted to leave church but my friend Amanda told me that when we don't want to be there that's when we most need to be there. so i went in to listen as Paul oxby spoke a simple message. the words i walked in to were.... "sometimes we just want to run and hide from God." how true those very words were to the depths of my heart.
I mean why does the simple truth seem to hurt so much sometimes?
many times in life i have had some very difficult moments and i just wanted to give up. i felt unworthy and not good enough for anyone. it was this thing called fear.did you know the bible says that perfect love casts out fear. what is perfect love anyways i often think and i know if you are out there reading this you may be thinking the very thing. truth is perfect love comes from God alone.as humans we can't fathom the love of god our father. when we are going through trials and tribulations bet we aren't thinking about how much God loves us. we are thinking about how much value we are we aren't thinking that we are worth anything in fact we think the opposite.
Even today when i walked into work honestly i just wanted to be left alone and have a cry to myself. but the tears just won't come. so I go back to what is comfortable i just want to hide myself away so no one can see the insecurities that try to over take me. in fact honestly it's hard to be comfortable in my own skin sometimes.believe it or not i have a lot of insecurities. and every day is a struggle to gather the confidence to be me. i know that's hard to believe. but i know that as girls we struggle with the same being confident, actually loving ourselves. i mean how can we love ourselves when we focus on ALL our flaws. we spend more time trying to live up to the expectations of other's. why do we make it so hard for ourselves anyways??why can't we see ourselves in all confidence. we are victorious we are beautiful we are diamonds in the rough. we are not mistakes. every time we speak negative against ourselves we are saying God you don't know what you are doing. you only make mistakes.
young woman where ever you are at. maybe like me you are overwhelmed by insecurities deep and you are so tired of feeling like you just don't fit. like you are good enough. you are tired of feeling like you aren't worthy. today where you stand i want to tell you that you are.I wrote this song for a dear friend and it healed her where she was at. and i know that it will heal you as well if you will let it...
how beautiful you are
verse 1:
when you feel like you're inadequate, look at the horizons. do you see who you've been? look above arise in love, you are worthy, oh yes you are!
Chorus:
how beautiful you are, like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove, innocent and kind.
Verse 2:
you've been standing at the edge, standing waiting hold close, you just want to trust again, you're a light in the darkness hold on.
Bridge:
just be yourself he will lift you up, just be yourself he'll make you strong enough, make you strong enough, so just be yourself he will lift you up.
Chorus again
how beautiful you are. like a diamond in the rough, you are like a dove. beautiful and kind.
today be encouraged you are worth it!!!!!
daughter you are most beautiful there is nothing at all wrong with you.
song of songs 4:7
elz
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