alright this one is very dear to my heart.......
have you ever loved someone so much and the timing was always wrong? you liked them and they didn't like you and vise versa!! i'd like to say this kind of thing happens all the time.
when I was 17 i met a guy at a christian conference and a smile that could light up a football satdium. eyes that shined brighter then the sunlight. a young man of great strength and charistma. he is spanish and sweet well my 17 year old emotions thought that. i would say he was the very first love. you know when you get in that "in love phase" there's no changing your mind. how many know what i'm talking about? anyways absalon is his name and being he was my first true love it's been next to the hardest emotional aka soul tie for me. (soul tie is holding onto something you need to let go but you can't) confusing or what? OK so going back to absalon when I first realized that i was "in love" with ab I told myself he must be the one the one my heart has been waiting for. so i determined not to love anyone else and wait for absalon to tell me that he felt the same and those words never came from ab! it was in a sense me making something that wasn't real. how many of us fall for that assumption the "I love you and hope they might love you back phase".
for all these years of thinking i was in love with ab it has protected my heart from so much yet been such a hard reality. it's holding onto to what once was and having to let go of what is.
it's funny but i know now that I can't hold onto the past relationship. today is a new day and even if you are like me and facing the facts is really hard.
letting go and letting god. he is the only one who will love you and never let you down. his love lasts forever. you see letting go sometimes means surrender and saying God it's hard i trust you.
here's my attempt again letting go and trusting god enough to love me even when I'm difficult loving me when I'm sad when I'm happy. etc.
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