Dear Reader
How are you doing today? how are things really going in your life?
I'm about to share something with you that i don't completely understand. just to clear things up for you i'm not a depressed person. that is not me but what i'm about to share is the very thing i deal with today and off and on. i just hope that the words i'm about to write will give hope back to you. if you are struggling with knowing yourself. maybe you are afraid to let the world see that you have heart. recently as the wind changes so does my life. all these changes occuring and then with changes follow silly insecurities or maybe just attacks on the emotions. well i'd like to say i am dealing with everything all ginger peachy dandy fine but that would be a mild understatement. i sometimes feel like these blogs is the place i can truly be me. where no one can judge me.thats crazy too. life is going to throw hard things at us and it's us that get to choose the out come. are we going to sink with hard times or we going to get up and fight back.
now i'm not talking about punching someone i'm simply saying get your self in shape get your self prepared. for there are many battles that we are going to have to face.
every night i go home and i am by myself. i do not enjoy that always that is the time where i battle the most. for when i am by myself i over annalyze things. the lonliness trys to reside. but guess what i have the choice. to throw a pity party for myself or get up and say no i am wonderfully and fearfully made. that sounds real cliche i know but seriously when you try to hard to be something you aren't you become the very person you hate. do i get a witness with that? or am i speaking to the clouds!! life is not always sunshine and daisies full of laughter and joy. there is times i want to crawl in a corner and cry. i want to hide away from everyone and that's when i need people the most. I am just to stubborn to ask for help. to strong in my ways to admit that I can't do things on my own. so everyday you struggle is a day you get to choose! is this going to be a down day or am i going to rise above and ask for help ask someone to pray over you.
let's face it you aren't always going to want to ask for help. you want someone but you don't want someone. take for example when you lose someone close to you, a parent a friend a grandma, grandpa etc you want to sit on your own you get angry you get moments of happiness from things you remember. but there is times you want to just punch something. maybe you wish you could take back words that you spoke and regret that you didn't get the last goodbye. i know i struggle with that sometimes. the what if's I had a last moment all over how would things change?
well here's the good news today yeah today is a new day. we have the power to change lives if we look beyond ourselves. we stop throwing pity party for ourselves we can actually be more effective. we can learn to love beyond ourselves. and see the work of God in every aspect of our lives. let Gods love take you deeper today. may you rise above the storms that chase you today. peace be with you
elz
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