leaving the past behind part 3

When i was 18 i babysat for a while i think 1 or 2 years!!i had just lost  2 jobs in a matter or a month and  that  august  broke up with my boyfriend. as well my  grandpa  ended up dying that November  it seemed  once again my world was falling i  never got to say  good bye to grandpa.
      when i was 19  i started to play yahoo pool and meet all these Internet guys. there was 1 guy  Ed  that  i took a  liking to.  i thought he was only the  greatest guy  ever. i mean i  still didn't  let him in right away. i  honestly didn't  know how to let anyone in. my relationship with God was getting alot better.  I was praying more reading the bible more.i  started to volunteer  as a teacher assistant for  developmentally challenged  people. i did  that for half a year then decided to try going for  school to be a  teacher assistant.  i only made it  half way through i found it  too hard. doing 2 years of  school  in 1 year  i didn't take it  seriously enough.so i gave up! i learned however sometimes  you have to  move backwards to go forwards.when i was 20 i started  going to a  young woman's  prayer group. my leader Donna taught us so much. i was forced out of my comfort zone there.
 i was  also  going to youth  regularly in this  time my brother Aaron was in Seattle Washington. its  then i started to  break out of my bubble at crossroads .i used to act funny cause it was my way of  hiding my insecurities.  Tara Dettman  then  called me out and told me she saw right through me. she said elz" you need to just be yourself. you don't  have to pretend  anymore. people like you the real you just as you are." now I'd  be lying to you if  i told you  hearing that was easy cause it wasn't. but it was exactly what i needed to hear. it was the truth.  anyways Tara and i would  get together and talk about life off and on for a few years. i can't remember just how long!!!Tara reached out for rescue. she taught me so much and now I can teach other's.you see  the things we go through  help us  grow up even the  times when we are hurting the most there is always hope within arms reach!!