let's get to the heart of things

Dear Reader
 
   I have been many places and have been  going through alot.
Instead of  reaching out and  speaking out  and  saying i need  rescue In a  way i have been  running  away.  It  didn't  matter what anyone  said.  i was becoming 2 people.
  you  see  my personality is "let's  just  get to the heart of things" and  thats a  very  intense personality  for  pretty  much  everyone.  so I  have  given up  being the  real me. there is maybe  select  few that see  the  real me and then everyone else  i feel at times  like i have to be  this  person. live up to these  expectations.  be this person that people  will like.  you know  find an identity.  but no i  shut people out  i am  not  perfect. I  got to  focused on what i think i should look like to others that i  shut out  who i am.  my blogs  are  telling you the  real me.  there  is no  hiding there is no pretending.  i  can put  my heart into these  pages and  understand that  other's are  feeling the  same way. they  just need a  little  hope a little inspiration.
     In the past few weeks I have been  seeing sides of me that are not so fun. i have been  angry at  certain  leaders in the church.  I have picked up offenses that were never mine to pick up. i  have tryed  to deal  with it and the more i thought about certain issues the  more angry  i became. i  was full of fear. you  know what if i don't  deal  with these  area's  will  people really like me.  if  you  only  knew  what was going through my  mind.  I  have been selfish, blessed, overwhelmed, judgmental, prideful and way too stubborn. 
    you  see when you take on the world. it  gets to heavy to carry alone. to lonely  to face the real facts.  all these mixed  emotions  going through my head.  to   focused on myself and how i felt  to  notice that i was  not acting very christian like. come on  now  we are all guilty  of this.  we all have  struggles but we have got to gather enough strength to trust Jesus. he  is the only one to carry us through the storms of life.  he  loves us to much to  leave us the  same

so if you are reading this and you have lost your will  it's not to late to  get it back again. it's never to late to find  your way your  hope. but  you  have to be willing to reach out and ask for help in the days  when  life is caving in all around  you.I dare  you to get up and fight  for life!!!! take your  stand  be all that you can be and don't look back.


elz