transition

Reader's,
   How  are thing's with you?  here is  something i am  walking through transition.  about  2 weeks ago my  sister and I  had a "talk" she  told me she  is  moving out  before I  never took it seriously like  yeah  how many times have you   said  something  and you never  really  took action.  this time i knew  she  meant business. so i went on nanny services.com.  i know alot of people reading this might be  from my  local church crossroads community church. there are  people trying to get me to stay.  but here's the  truth.  I  have always taken care of everyone else and that's  great  but where i am i need to  grow up, I need  to  find  who I am. I have lived for and through others  for  so long that  I don't  know who I am.I'm not one that  adapts to change well. but i am ready  to  stop living in fear of  what if.  all these  fears  lurking  around me i have been living in a bubble of a life. if it's safe then i guess I'll do it.  even when i am  wild and crazy  i plan  it  to a degree.  if i know it's  not safe i  wont  do it. I  want you all to understand  this is not a running away  thing. this is  i need to  know who i am and who God is to me. I need a refreshed  fire for God  not for  others for me. this is a  season,  a place where I need to surrender  and  learn to  really trust God and trust myself,  forgive myself  from secret  sins  from pasts that  have  left me  damaged. I am a prize possession, a woman of God that needs God more then life itself. no matter  where i go where i live God has my back. as he has yours as too. 
  maybe you are where I am and you are fighting through so much that  it weigh's you  down so much. I am here living in it right now.  here's  the thing just talking about it helps. admitting to God to others  hey i  don't have it together you  know  know the answer's you might be  surprised  to know that other' feel the same.

elz